We’ve finally made it, September is here and with it the start of the holiday season, beginning with Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions and the long anticipated Halo: Reach. But before you move on to new and better things, why not grab a soda and take a seat next to me so we can both take part in this retrospective on all August had to offer?
Sure September is pretty exciting on the new release front, but August gave us Gamescom, the latter half of the XBLA Summer of Arcade, and… Kane & Lynch 2? So if you think there’s even the slightest of chances that you could’ve missed even a single headline last month you should most definitely read on to get caught up. It’s what the orphans would want you to do, and you don’t want to upset the orphans, do you?
Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. Bad news is there won’t be a letter from TJ as I’ve kidnapped him so I could be one step closer to taking over Dead Pixels, and after that THE WORLD. The good news is you’ll now be able to read some truly meaningful and thought provoking thoughts on the path the games industry is headed.
Oh alright, let’s talk about boobs instead.
I don’t have a problem with them as I’m sure most of you reading this don’t either. That aside, I do have an issue with needless booby overloads that can really detract from an otherwise great game. Soul Calibur IV for example, bestowed upon several of its key female fighters massive mammaries that combined with the already fairly skimpy outfits and turned a fantastic fighting series into a joke.
I understand why boobs are so prevalent in games, it’s because a large majority of the gaming audience loves them and therefore the people creating the games feel the need to gift the women with bulbous breasts so a few more copies of the games can be sold. Now, I could go on about this problem but my words are incomparable to The Designer’s Notebook author Ernest Adams thoughts on the subject:
I’ve got a message for the no-talent clods who insist on putting puerile humor and outrageously-breasted women into computer games. How to put it diplomatically? Oh, I’ve got it: grow up. You’re an embarrassment and a disgrace. It’s because of the example you set that the rest of us have to explain to our in-laws, friends, and for that matter, Congressmen, that we’re not all tasteless money-grubbing louts, only you guys are. I have spent a lot of time trying to convince non-gamers (but people who vote) that you drooling peep-show habitués are actually a minority whose imbecile products and total lack of judgment unfairly tarnish the rest of the industry.
So yeah, what he said.
Adam, back to you. Err, wait. Back to me.
Overall, August was a good month. It knew how to treat us right and we’ll miss the hole it left in our hearts when we had to move on to September. Think that’s a little extreme? I could go further, give August a personality and throw in a little drama to really make the year a little more interesting. But because I don’t feel the need to waste your obviously extraordinarily valuable time, I’ll just leave you with the previous month.