[Exclusive] Revocation’s Phil Dubois-Coyne Gives A “18 Nights Of Blood” Tour Update

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On what might be one of the heaviest tours currently on the road, Revocation is helping melt faces every night on the 18 Nights Of Blood tour, which also features Six Feet Under and Dying Fetus (John Gallagher interview here). But for readers who are unaware of what life is like on the road, drummer Phil Dubois-Coyne has written up an exclusive blog for Bloody Disgusting. It’s quite the hilarious read and I can safely say that, as a result of the blog, I now have a reason to visit Atlanta. Find out why below!

Revocation‘s latest album is Chaos Of Forms, which was released August of 2011 via Reprise Records. You can pick it up on Amazon or iTunes.

Hey there RevoNation! Phil here, pumped to be bringing you assholes our first blog from the 18 Night Drives of Blood tour with Six Feet Under and Dying Fetus!

I’ll tell ya folks, we’re really gettin’ bent over the haystack on this one. By the fourth show of tour, we had already driven 2,600 mile. When the Fukashima reactor completely melts down and causes a cataclysmic global disaster, we are already going to be completely adjusted to what life will be like. We’re one step away from walking around with bindles, trying to catch pigeons with a cardboard box and stick. It’s ok though, because this is the life we choose, and we won’t change or rearrange, and we aint ever ever gonna… loooooooooooooooooossssseeee!!!

Being professionally homeless does have its advantages however. I mean honestly, how many of you out there can say they have a more comfortable work uniform?

I didn’t think so…

We started off by heading south to start the tour in Atlanta, with one show with Dying Fetus in Frederick, Marlyand on the way. We toured with Fetus on the European Summer Slaughter tour in 2010, so it’s great to link back up with those dudes on the road again. The show in Atlanta was killer, and we got to kick it once again with our buddy Metal Mark from skullsnbones.com. We did a real stressful, high stakes trivia interview, but came out of it with a 12 pack. I wish all interviews were as rewarding.

The show in Atlanta was almost an afterthought though, because when we’re in Atlanta there’s really only one thing on our minds: The Claremont Lounge. For those of you that have never been there, you suck. It is bar none the best strip club I have ever found in the US, and that covers a lot of territory. All the strippers there are old as fuck, generally fairly obese, with thick, plentiful bushes, and a wide array of scars and other physical oddities which gives The Claremont an unmatched level of character. Now for all you pussies out there that prefer going to a strip clubs with “hot” chicks, please entertain my thoughts on the subject for a moment. There are literally millions of hot skanks out there that will show you their buttholes for little more than a few dollars, and often for nothing at all. There are not, however, millions of women who look exactly like Danny Devito with a blonde powdered wig, that will crush beer cans between their enormous, knee slapping, cow udder tits for the reasonable price of a dollar. Life is all about expanding your boundaries, and the Claremont is as good a place as any to do that.

After Atlanta we started heading back up north, hitting up Empire in Virginia, then meeting up with Suffocation and a shit ton of our homeboys for the Worcester Deathfest in our home state MA, where I apparently got a bit out of hand. I’m not sure if it was fatigue from the night drive I had just done, or the many jazz cigarettes I was under the influence of, but I guess I got carried out by security with no recollection of the incident. I wouldn’t have believed it at all if there weren’t pictures of it happening.

I guess all that propaganda in Reefer Madness was legit after all. After a killer heavy metal parking lot session with our friends, it was time to start hauling ass west. NYC was great as always, even though we were playing in Williamsburg, which is a bit unusual for that area. Next was Columbus, Chicago, then Cleveland, and tour once again began to feel like business as usual. Unfortunately we haven’t been able to get into a many shenanigans as we usually like to, because we’ve been so busy sucking the highways dick, but rest assured our desire for derelict behavior will overcome any geographical barrier put in front of us. Catch you guys soon!

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