[BD Caption Contest] Win Another Zombie Head Limited Edition Of “The Walking Dead” Season 2 On Blu-ray!!

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The First Prize winner this week is kizzle (please DM me your US mailing address to receive your Jaws Blu-ray and Bottle Opener).

This week we don’t have a mystery prize, instead we’re giving away “The Walking Dead” Season 2 on Blu-ray. It’s the limited edition with the Zombie Head that you can check out here. It has an SRP of $99.99. That means you guys really have to BRING IT this week! Runner-up gets Jaws on Blu-ray!

Head inside to see the runner-up and to start this week’s contest!

Our runner up is trixxxster. You also get a Jaws Blu-ray! DM Me! On to this week’s contest!

Rules:

1. We pick a still from a movie. You head to the comments section and submit your best one-liners, zingers, pathos riddled couplets etc…

2. You can enter as many times as you like and submit as many captions as you want, but each caption must be in a separate comment. Otherwise it will be too hard to tell where one caption ends and the other begins. Your entries can be posted anytime after the still is announced – just be sure to check that I haven’t announced that the contest is closed in the comments (you don’t want to submit your winning zinger after we’ve picked the winner). Also any racist, sexist, homophobic or generally hateful jokes will be disqualified. You don’t have to be insanely PC – just use your best judgement. Try and keep it brief! It has to fit on the photo now!

3. We pick the winner and announce them and their winning caption when the next photo in the contest is posted. We will address you by your BD Infected name. You can then DM me your US mailing address (no PO boxes) and I will send you your prize in a timely manner (i.e. you should have it in a couple of weeks). You must be a US resident to receive your prize!

Remember, First Prize receives The Limited Edition Zombie Head Walking Dead Blu-ray and Runner-Up receives Jaws on Blu-ray!

Source: Bloody Disgusting
  • shrednj

    Hair Crimping? Is that related to our
    conjugal visit?

  • Necro13

    can i get a room, so i can screw this prostitute?

  • Necro13

    I’d like a dozen doughnuts, and 2 large coffees.

  • Necro13

    Hello, I’m Bruce Campbell, and you’re not.

    • kill3rjessica

      Ha!

  • Necro13

    I’m looking for a the Necronomicon, You havent by chance seen one lying around, have you?

    • Necro13

      *I’m looking for the

  • greateyeinthesky

    Who wants to see my boomstick?

  • cowtoon

    It’s looks like I’m going to jail. I think I’ll just clinch my butt cheeks now and try to remember to not drop the soap.

  • JukeLaw

    Don’t look at his hair. Don’t look at his hair. Don’t look at his hair.

    Shit.

  • cowtoon

    Come on officer! Isn’t herpes punishment enough?

  • LAPD

    OK Officer, this is it, I’m tired of getting the runaround. I really need to know….. Who’s hair looks more like ass, mine, or blondie’s here?????

  • cowtoon

    If I stare hard enough his head will explode.

  • horror_2.0

    Here is the address of my barber. You folks look like you could use him.

  • LAPD

    Excuse me, Officer, looking a ‘lil thin on top. Do you remember what it was like to have a wind tunnel tested hairdo????

  • MrSelfDestruct

    Ok, Mr. Campbell…and what exactly did your horror credibility look like?

  • LAPD

    Officer, her kickass hairdo matches her kickass personality. Scouts honor….

  • jacklejohn

    Officer, I need to report a crime! Some guy raped my goat!

  • MrSelfDestruct

    Hello, officer. I’m here to report a remake.

    • Mbed

      You get my vote.

  • Elizabeth

    I know of this great place to get some hair extensions let me give you the number very little pain and you will have hair that looks as good as mine and hers but hers costs more

  • that.killa

    Officer, why don’t you just forget the ticket… and hail to the King, baby

  • VoicesCounselMe

    Really, Ron Jeremy? You’re gonna act like those times on the board aren’t the hours you’re screwing someone?

  • Necro13

    Excuse me Officer, have you heard about the remake of Evil Dead. By the way, this is a shameless promotion. I’m Bruce Campbell, and I approoved this message.

  • Necro13

    ok, here’s my last offer. You get he girl and I get your vote for President of USA. Deal?

  • od666666

    Excuse me officer, would you mind of I ran my fingers thru the amazing looking pubic hair on your head?

  • Necro13

    Yes, Campbell. Bruce Campbell. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of me…

  • Necro13

    I demand to know what the charges against me are…. Impersonating an actor.

  • Abrahamjay

    So…uh…You still keep in touch with Stills and Nash?

  • DeadManZombieFan

    she may look like a mindless robot but she’s great in the sack

  • Damien-Cole

    Hey man… how many doughnuts is it going to take for you to forget this whole situation here?

  • ShaggyPA

    Hello, we’d like a room. How much for the 1/2 Hour rate?…Psst, I’m Bruce Cambell

    • ShaggyPA

      Campbell*

  • Keegan Hill

    The sign said “Loading Zone”…how else was I supposed to take that?

  • chewie2175

    this is the weirdest burger king ever, they all look like cops in here

  • that.killa

    Would you let us off the hook if I gave you some sugar, baby?

  • BigPaul281

    Women: OMG! Look at his hairline, That is so disgusting!
    Bruce: Thank god I don’t look like that.
    Officer: I hope there not looking at my hair.

  • http://www.facebook.com/con.doyle.9 Con Doyle

    Hair crimping carries a five year sentence? Seriously?!

  • DeadManZombieFan

    officer did spider-man put you up to this… that guy hates me!

  • chade

    I’m about to show her my boomstick.

  • that.killa

    Let’s talk about this man to man, chin to chin.

  • Trioxin83

    Here’s that number again officer, write this down….1-800-555-WIGSRUS

  • ShaggyPA

    No…no…NO!!! MY autograph….I asked if YOU wanted MY autograph. I’m Bruce Cambell DAMNIT!!!

  • AdamFearson

    I’m hear to kick butt, and catch a maniac cop…

    …and I’m all out of butt…

  • Keegan Hill

    Hey, hey, hey…doll hands are not a crime!

  • DeadManZombieFan

    OFFICER I CAUGHT HER STEALING FROM S-MART… NOBODY GETS THE BEST OF BRUCE CAMPBELL!

  • scottythrill

    seriously i cant concentrate, i gotta give her the shocker!!

  • AdamFearson

    That’s right, sir, failure to hail to the king.

    Just put down: immediate execution.

  • http://www.facebook.com/con.doyle.9 Con Doyle

    Next time you unleash an ancient demon, call that Buffy chick.

  • chade

    Have you noticed I’m standing next to a mannequin.

  • Clean-Filth

    Man Behind Counter:
    So really your just going to wait till the man shows up?
    HE RAPED MY WIFE HERE!!
    Woman Behind Counter: What the hell dude.

  • Trioxin83

    Hey, buddy, will you listen to me please? A damn tree branch tried to rape my girlfriend here!

  • NRKee

    Officer,Im here to report a remake… remake? my notes say it’s a prequel.

  • Clean-Filth

    Man behind counter: Your a man you understand. A man has his needs! If you let us go, ill pay for you too.

  • DeadManZombieFan

    IF YOU LET US OUT OF THIS SIR… ILL GIVE YOU A 100$ GIFT CARD FOR S-MART.

  • Trioxin83

    Here you go officer, she didn’t shop smart, she didn’t shop S-Mart.

  • Clean-Filth

    LOOK BUDDY!

  • sabreson360

    Sir I already told you, we are closed on Thursdays and Fridays. Read the sign.

  • Keegan Hill

    Bruce, could you just…check out my screenplay real quick?

  • Clean-Filth

    So So So So So!
    Can can i ge.. get my sweet sweet crystal.
    You can have Ex here!

  • sabreson360

    Just a little shading on the upper lip…almost done…

  • ShaggyPA

    Bruce….Bruce Cambell… B as in Boy, R as in Rob….

    • ShaggyPA

      Campbell* geesh

  • DeadManZombieFan

    OFFICER:YOU CAN HIDE THAT CHAINSAW ALL YOU WANT. BUT YOUR STILL UNDER ARREST FOR CARRYING A WEAPON.

  • DeadManZombieFan

    OFFICER: SIR CAN YOU TURN THAT CHAINSAW OFF PLEASE. BRUCE: WHAT CHAINSAW?

  • sabreson360

    I saw him eyeballing my pencil. Good thing I tied it to this string just in case.

  • chade

    So can you describe the demon that attacked you?

  • chade

    No you can’t have your boomstick back.

  • sabreson360

    You kidding me? Napoleon could do a better “police sketch” than that!

  • Alex Brookshire

    This is a girlfriend to bring home to the cabin

  • Clean-Filth

    Man behind counter:Shes up and ready, come on i need her out there!!
    Officer:Hold up, i need to recored the time you guys leave.

  • Keegan Hill

    Are the cells co-ed?

  • sabreson360

    I already told you sir I will be with you in 1/2 an hour. I just need to ask the lady here a few questions…in private.

  • Alex Brookshire

    So you say your Elvis

  • Keegan Hill

    You seriously don’t have our reservation?

  • Keegan Hill

    Sorry, we’re all booked up…but I have some lovely cabins available

  • sabreson360

    I told you to ring the bell if you need assistance.
    Once again officer, there is no bell!!

  • sabreson360

    Sir I already told you this is not a hotel. We do not have continental breakfast and you don’t want to eat the food here. Trust me…

  • sabreson360

    Sir, this is not a hotel. Please stop asking.

  • sabreson360

    I have all day to stare into your soul.

  • sabreson360

    And that’s why you are just a security guard!
    Sir, I am a security OFFICER!!

  • sabreson360

    Now tell her she’s beautiful!

  • sabreson360

    I already told you! The suspect looked like Henry Winkler!

  • sabreson360

    I already told you! He looked like the guy from Blue’s Clues! You keep drawing the guy from Weezer, that’s not the same guy!

  • Keegan Hill

    Colorful history, animated woods, spacious cellar, this cabin is a real steal!

  • Keegan Hill

    The phone is on your left.

  • Keegan Hill

    So you thought it’d be funny to bring a chainsaw to the mall?

  • Keegan Hill

    Let me get this straight, you’re accusing trees of a party foul?

  • Keegan Hill

    Sir, where are your hands? Just kidding, party on!

  • mon80key

    So here is my number, so call me maybe…….

  • WalkingDeadGuy

    Arrested for swimming naked?!? We were filming a scene for the remake of ‘Splash’!

  • brandxofttl

    So let me get this straight, Mr. Williams – you want to bring a THIRD girlfriend to this cabin in the woods?

  • Keegan Hill

    Demons, not a flesh-eating virus! Get your classic horror straight!

  • Keegan Hill

    So I thought, screw it! I’m having ice-cream!

  • tall-paul

    There is a maniac cop on the loose and your charging me with indecent exposure of a large chin?

  • Keegan Hill

    We’re gonna need a bigger chainsaw.

  • ExpendableBlade

    Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t Chief’ of but two things, right now: Jack and shit… and Jack left town.

  • Keegan Hill

    Oh you said look out for “chiggers” in the woods. Will do.

  • schizophrenic-kyle

    Yes officer, this chin is standard issue.

  • schizophrenic-kyle

    Yes officer, I do have a permit for this chin

  • Snakelow

    ok ladies, here is the adress where you can get the swedish made penis enlarger pump!

  • Keegan Hill

    Necronomicon, huh? So that’s what the kids are smoking these days.

  • Keegan Hill

    So you kids were out in the woods “reading”. Riiight. Go on.

  • fuzmonkey007

    So..explain to me again WHY you stole the mannequin?

  • fuzmonkey007

    Do you have a description of the assailant that ruined this young ladies hair?

  • fuzmonkey007

    We have had a rash of pencil thieves recently.

  • misfit61104

    I’m Bruce Campbell and you’re not.

  • misfit61104

    Yes that is Old Spice you smell.

  • abelafonte

    Thats right officer, this woman said she was unimpressed with the size of my penis, but we both know she is a liar.

  • fuzmonkey007

    Here is the number for my wife’s beautician. I HIGHLY recommend you pay her a visit.

  • that.killa

    First name Bruce, last name Campbell. Yes, like the soup.

  • Trinity

    Hey guy,you know who I am?Right Bruce Campbell.I kicked the fucking zombies back in hell.Now you really want to tell me I need to pay my parking ticket?

  • Octofruit

    I told her it was just pillow talk baby, but she didn’t believe me

  • WalkingDeadGuy

    I’d like to report a crime!…Someone took my hair straightener.

  • films94

    So it’s spelled B-O-S-E? And your sure I’ll look like Elvis?

  • Marcial.Jr

    Officer, she misunderstood when I said,
    Would you like to see my boomstick.

  • PatrickxJonathan

    Officer, I’m telling you she didn’t cheat.
    She got pregnant from a 3D porno!

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    With friends like you, who needs enemas?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Excuse me, have you seen my Congressional Medal of Honor around here?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Malice.the.Macabre Ashley Payne

    Up the butt?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Gimme some sugar, Dennis!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Malice.the.Macabre Ashley Payne

    Ash, did you srsly just UFIA me?

  • Necro13

    ahem…….i said, AHEM…..Hail to the King, piggy!

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Oompah, oompah, doopity-do, I’ve got a dozen donuts for you!

  • http://www.facebook.com/Malice.the.Macabre Ashley Payne

    That’s right officer, fell down the stairs, women, am I right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Malice.the.Macabre Ashley Payne

    Half hour minimum you say? But what if I only need 10, no, still full price huh…

  • HardRocker

    I’m Bruce Campbell. Hey buddy I might not be Bruce Campbell but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

  • HardRocker

    Come on give me a key to one of your cells, she’s gonna “audition” for me.

  • HardRocker

    Hey officer my chin gets paid more than you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    C’mon Officer, just on pee-pee touch?

  • secretsquirrely

    I’ll trade you this hooker for some of your pot.

  • HardRocker

    It’s called hair, get some.

  • HardRocker

    Officer I told you we don’t want your autograph.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Are you serious Dennis, you had to eat the black beans from craft services?

  • Rotten_Zombie_Props

    Ha yeah right, you found a book and an audiotape that brought demons to life and they attacked you while you were in a cabin for spring break. Kids these days.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    If I gave you $50, would you crimp my pubes too?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

  • HouroftheWolf

    Used or not sir, we don’t accept returns on sex dolls…I’m sorry Mr. Campbell.

  • m1bayluv41510

    Let me get this down, subject raped by tree..

  • CDevil

    Listen, screwhead, we’re short on time.

    Give me the room key, or out comes the boomstick!

  • docrock

    No really officer… all these little versions of me just all went into her vagina! So do we need to be concerned? Seriously…

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    …and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like… and then… spank me.

  • CDevil

    Tell you what…

    Tear up the ticket, and she’ll give YOU some sugar too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    If it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people groveling.

  • CDevil

    What do you MEAN I need to have her on a leash to walk her?

  • Rotten_Zombie_Props

    There is no way anyone would wanna watch a movie about kids in a cabin who find a book that makes demons come and attack them. It wont make a penny!

  • http://www.facebook.com/secretusername Shad Youngblood

    One question Mr. Campbell, when does Evil Dead 4 come out?

  • CDevil

    That’s what I said, officer.

    She broke my boomstick!

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

  • Rotten_Zombie_Props

    Hi, I have a reservation under I’m Bruce Campbell I don’t make reservations, reservations make me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Like math? We could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!

  • Rotten_Zombie_Props

    And then I yelled “This is my boomstick!” and shot the bitch in the face. True Story.

  • czerro

    Our glorious, wig-like, mantles of hair have shamed you, sir.

  • CDevil

    We were told Sarah Connor was here.

    Could we see her? PLEASE?

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Hello, my name is Bruce, you killed my Dada, prepare to die!

    Guard: Stop saying that!

  • czerro

    Look, I’m not particularly proud of it, but apparently our precinct operates out of a discount dry cleaner/barber shop according to the sign on the wall.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    We’ll never survive.
    Guard: Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Dennis, will you take my hand?
    Dennis the Guard: That would leave you with one!

  • czerro

    Look, Officer Librarian is it? We just wanna take a look at the Necronomicon for like 2 seconds.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Guard:That’s some bad hat, Harry.
    Bruce:I’m not wearing a hat, that’s my hair.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
    Tell her a joke on Friday?

  • czerro

    The Bruce Campbell line: casual precinct wear.

  • jstalte

    I’m sorry officer. Let’s just pretend Spiderman 3 neeeeever happened.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

    “Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

  • czerro

    Excuse me officer. Quit checking out my ‘boomstick’…my furrowed brow is UP HERE.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brett.marmon Mr. Darke

    Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

  • Walsh79

    Can we speed this up officer? This girl is DTF!

  • czerro

    This is an intervention…I’ll let combat green telephone start.

  • czerro

    Seriously, missing/dead friends aside, ever think about squaring up some of that paperwork in your in box…?

  • czerro

    I don’t understand this citation…burn…notice?

  • HouroftheWolf

    Used or not, we don’t accept returns for sex dolls Mr. Campbell.

  • Isaac Urquiza

    Whatever she said I did is a lie.

  • Isaac Urquiza

    I hope I don’t start balding like him.

  • BigBadQDaddy

    Let’s be reasonable here, Officer.
    1/2 hour allotted for conjugal visitation? For your best rate I can knock that in half! Oh yeah, and uh, Hail to the king baby!

  • BigBadQDaddy

    Uh yeah, this one is broken…May I exchange it for another?

  • Isaac Urquiza

    Don’t look, Don’t look, Damn I look.

  • BigBadQDaddy

    What if I told you that with a modest application of Bruce Campbell’s ‘Hail to the Cream’ revitalizing follicle accelerator you too could have an amazing head of golden crimp like my lovely assistant, Crimpyna?

    You do have a flex account, right?

  • spydr36

    (waves hand) This is not the prostitute you are looking for.

  • lv99ron

    Officer: So all you have to say is Klaatu Barada Nikto.
    Ash: Klaatu Barada N…Nippu…Neckburn…Nipple… It’s an “N” word, it’s definitely an “N” word!
    Officer: I’ll just write it down for you.

  • spydr36

    So what do you think a dozen glazed for this lady.

  • PatrickxJonathan

    Officer, I said give me some sugar baby
    NOT, Here’s my number, so call me maybe.
    I’m innocent.

  • DeadManZombieFan

    Your arresting me for impersonating an officer in the dead next door? That guy wasn’t even me!

  • flesheater24

    Are you a man or women???
    I’m confused.

  • flesheater24

    Welcome to the 1980′s you tranny

  • flesheater24

    Hey rick. Mind if I get chitty chitty bang bang
    in the back

  • DeadManZombieFan

    If you let us go ill get you a part in the next sam raimi movie officer.

  • DeadManZombieFan

    The laughing deer head,flying demon book and evil tree are all real! let me go im not on drugs!

  • DeadManZombieFan

    Wait so your telling me you have not seen any of my movies? Its okay neither have I.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    I told you. I dont know what happened. All I did was wish for my wife to be more like Barbie

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    Yeah I found this giant Barbie

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    Oh god no. This isnt a sex doll its my wife

  • DeadManZombieFan

    Sir she was very convincing… but please remove that corpse from your chainsaw now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    Does mr. Benjamin say we can have sex in there

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    What do you mean you dont allow three way conjical visits.

  • ShadowWalker29

    I see that your pencil is secured with a string. Way to protect that investment.

    • czerro

      best.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    Here is $10,000 cash, all you have to do is go to as many chat rooms and say you love my movies

  • SW1134

    Klaatu Verata Nikto
    Can you spell that for me?

  • blackiesson73

    But officer i only wanted to show her my BOOM STICK !!!!

  • MinaDoll7

    So you’re telling me…the rapists were trees?

  • Janice Heming

    Barbie over here says she’ll let you feel up her turtle neck if you can sneak us past the other guard!!!

  • tungbandit

    no, you don’t understand. i’m batman!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1295480624 Sam Scarcello

    Officer are you gonna find the guy that did this to my wife’s hair…or not?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1295480624 Sam Scarcello

      Version 2:

      “Officer are you gonna find the guy that did this to my wife’s hair, or not? She’s crimping my style.”

  • tungbandit

    what is that growth on your neck man?

  • Adam Honsinger

    Hello Sir would you be interested in purchasing a time share? It’s a beautiful cabin in the woods!

  • Alex Brookshire

    That’s a ridiculous story,
    Why would they name you Ashley

  • Beezle2112

    That’s right. Members only. Just like my jacket.

  • Beezle2112

    So, what will you trade for her?

  • Beezle2112

    Good Ash. Bad Ash. I’m the one with the lethal hairdo chick.

  • Beezle2112

    Of course it was frightening! She looked at it and you can see what happened to her hair!

  • Beezle2112

    So I roughed that hairdresser up. Look what he did!

  • Beezle2112

    Well…. would ya?

  • davidhicksiii

    So you see officer, crimpin’ ain’t easy…you’ve gotta keep your crimp iron strong.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jack.ripple Jack Ripple

    “These instructions I’m writing for you will help you get this girl to cook and clean for you. That, or you’ll end up as one of the Walking Dead.”

  • miradotheblack

    Ladies and Gentlemen. The last member of the members only.

    Pompadour Phil!

  • miradotheblack

    Cop- What are the ingredients for your Hair Tonic?

  • captainhair90123

    Did you realize your pencil is almost out of ink?
    If you don’t understand that then talk to the chin and fuck off…

  • captainhair90123

    I’m Bruce Campbell… and I’m loudly judging you.

  • captainhair90123

    Officer, you appear to have a cocaine snot hanging from your right nostril.
    Reminds me of Neil Young in The Last Waltz.

  • captainhair90123

    Have you recovered my stolen Members Only jacket yet?

  • davidhicksiii

    It was a maniac, MANIAC at my door…
    and he was dancing like he’s never danced before.

  • carlosrossi

    Alright sir level with me, is she REALLY a dude?

  • carlosrossi

    Don’t worry buddy, You’ll be back in the sequel.

  • theghost1984

    So you’re saying that we’re looking for a guy with a bigger chin than yours? I find that had to believe.

    • theghost1984

      * I find that hard to believe.

  • carlosrossi

    So according to the sign.. I only got a half hour?

  • carlosrossi

    Frankly, I don’t care if it was consensual.

  • carlosrossi

    I’m sorry but.. she’s going in for possession of the Stuff.

  • marshallvv

    Officer I assure you..

    The cabin isn’t what messed up this girl.

  • marshallvv

    The necronomecon did this..

    And now I can’t fix her.

  • heavenle_sin

    I told her to give me some sugar..
    Next thing I know Im back at her place crimping her hair!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/balgar Benjamin Algar

    I B rate back, baby. Me and the chin gots a date.

  • http://www.facebook.com/balgar Benjamin Algar

    Say that again, bubba. You’re workin’ for who?

  • heavenle_sin

    Zombies you say? Have you met my SheBitch!?!

  • Lion7718

    Ok Ma’am, so someone stole your husbands vibrator.

  • Conquistador

    C’mon, can’t you let us off with a warning? We didn’t know crappy sequels were illegal!

  • Conquistador

    No, that’s cheating! Two on one for a staring contest isn’t fair!

  • Conquistador

    I don’t care who you are buddy, our rooms are all booked because the Evil Dead convention’s in town!

  • marshallvv

    Officer someone tried to burn my lady friend’s hair..

    Now why would they do that.

  • Grindhouse-Horror

    Look… I put the coin in and the bed didn’t vibrate. What are you prepared to do about this?

    • Lou

      Nice!

  • marshallvv

    So you’re saying…

    Someone tried to run over your lady friend, because of her hair?

  • marshallvv

    Who needs a hair crimp,

    When you have the nerconomecon.

  • Grindhouse-Horror

    So how would you like a job at S-mart? You look like a bright boy.

  • slashthrash

    Now write this down…
    …Klaatu, Barada, Nikto.

  • Lou

    Wait! Not so fast….spell ‘Propecia’

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Bruce: Officer, are you writing any of this down?

    Officer: No, I’m doing sudoku.

  • boundinthewoods

    Ummmmmm I know i just met you, And this is crazy. But heres my Number, So call me Baby.

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Theresa: Look us in the eyes and tell us we’re lying.

    Cop: What’s a 5 letter word the term “fuck off”?

  • bonerghost

    Now when you get there, knock 3 times, and recite these words….Klaatu, Verata, Nnnnnnnickle.

  • Ronster

    Tethered pencil eh? ..the crime rate must be up in your town, huh, Officer?

  • Ronster

    I’m you number one fan, Bruce! Here’s my address..come by my house tonight and I’ll show you my stuff.

  • swonx13

    Yeah I was in Sky High, so what about it Mr. Officer?

  • DeadManZombieFan

    cop: hey I seen you on burn notice! bruce: hey ive seen you on cops!

  • http://www.facebook.com/terry.smith.5667 Terry Smith

    Swingers Party?? address is?

  • swonx13

    Well yes, yes I was on Hercules and I was also on Xena, are you a fan? “NO”

  • DeadManZombieFan

    the only way your going to keep me from getting the Limited Edition Walking Dead blu-ray is by locking me in here!

  • DeadManZombieFan

    ok we’ll let you voice a cop car if there’s ever a cars 3 just let us out of here please officer.

  • mav07

    Cop: “One Necronomicon, Cursed.

    One unused prophylactic, One soiled.

    Sign here.”

  • swonx13

    First she wanted to kill me and now she wants to kiss me and i would like to file a complaint.

  • FahKauffBono

    I know….I would have made better “Lizard.”

  • FahKauffBono

    Trust me, I’m on the list……I know the director of “Spider-Man.”

  • FahKauffBono

    Hm? Congo? No I’ve never heard of it!

  • J-MAN28

    So, the suspect is a possesed, severed… hand?

  • J-MAN28

    You’d like to report a tree rape?

  • Conquistador

    I’ll explain it one more time… the first ten minutes were a remake and THEN the sequel starts

  • Conquistador

    Staring contest; ready? One… t.. you already lost

  • Conquistador

    Make it out to “Bruce and Laurene, my biggest fans”!

  • Conquistador

    Can you check one more time, please?

    For the last time, you’re not on Mr. Raimi’s guest list!

  • Conquistador

    I’m getting charged for HOW MANY counts of overacting?!

  • Conquistador

    So, you’re telling me that my death coaster ISN’T street legal

  • Conquistador

    Do I mind if I use your phone real quick? I need to call and fire my agent.

  • Conquistador

    I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think I can arrest Sam Raimi for giving you that part in Spider-Man 3

  • Conquistador

    No, we don’t have a “bad-ass” division that you can join

  • Conquistador

    Alright, you two are all checked in for the “Washed-up B-Movie Stars” support group

  • Conquistador

    People really left that many comments? About THIS picture?

  • Conquistador

    No, there must be some mistake, people wouldn’t leave comments like that… my fans LOVE me!

  • drock85053

    He had me on the floor and had his mouth over my asshole!

  • Lou

    We’re here to audition for Grease

  • Wolf-man

    If you let us go, I’ll give a part in Bruce Campbell vs Frakenstein.

  • zombiereign

    Nooo. I’m Ashley! .. A… S… H.. Oh, nevermind!

  • Beezle2112

    Wait, does anyone else hear a Michael Sembello song?

  • Beezle2112

    Popeye 2013: The Sam Raimi Reboot staring Bruce Cambell as Popeye.

  • Raze55

    And then I said listen here buddy nobody fucks my sister except me!

  • Raze55

    Yeah I snuck this bitch off the set of the manequin sequel…I’ll only need a half hour.

  • but-sir-the-piranha

    so that’s one cheese pizza, one cop that just won’t die…anything else folks?

  • HOUSE-OF-WHIPCORD

    Your damn right I want her arrested!!
    Darryl Hannah MY ASS!!

  • sharknoodles

    Splash 2: Bruce Campbell vs. The Army Of Squids

  • chewie2175

    so here is what i need your handcuffs, the interrogation room, and batman!!

  • ghengis

    Sorry Officer, I didn’t know it was illegal to show her my boom-stick.

  • VikingQuestFan42

    I’m sorry?

    You said she was arrested doing what!?

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    So you’re telling me that the remake is actually good!?

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    Mm?

  • IGETIGETBLOODY

    Wait! Why should I vote for the black guy?

  • Janice Heming

    See, I told you she wasn’t bad for a tranny! Eh? Eh?

  • iruvruraggy84

    “Psst…Wanna throw a 20 in on this? She does ASS TO MOUTH.”

  • Samhain2010

    You’re going to really love the remake of The Evil Dead. Trust me.

  • Slacker2387

    Yes, I was in THE EVIL DEAD…Can we move on?

  • Slacker2387

    If you look close enough…You can see the face of Jesus.

  • DeadManZombieFan

    Bruce: sir this is my ventriloquist dummy pam say hello pam. pam: hi sir!

  • SuperKilla

    That’s right, keep writing an there’s a nice,shiny doughnut in it for ya.

  • sanglant

    Mr. Campbell, I regret to inform you that The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr has been cancelled.

  • alienxphile

    I was just giving the tranny a ride home.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dr.Rotz Brain Rotz

    You’re telling me they’re remaking Evil Dead and I’m not in it?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dr.Rotz Brain Rotz

    Officer, I swear I had nothing to do with “My Name is Bruce”.

  • kpp88

    Where was your boomstick stolen again. I already told ya SMART S-MART.

  • Chris Burks

    Look kid, I know John McClane and you ain’t him.

  • Archgoat

    Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable… Oh wait, wrong movie.

  • thalazy

    “You are right sir, her tit’s are missing. I’ll get on it right away.”

  • twisted

    Cops do it by the book.

  • Conquistador

    Excuse me, “Security Officer”… could you go find me a REAL cop?

  • Conquistador

    I’m bringing her in on charges of “Impersonating the Russian chick from Rocky 4″

  • Conquistador

    Looks like you folks are being charged with “Impersonating Actors”

  • Conquistador

    Bruce, please stop giving the officer the Stink Eye

  • Conquistador

    Sure, I’ll look at your screenplay, but first can we deal with the Maniac Cop?!

  • Conquistador

    Yes officer, that’s a lovely drawing

  • Conquistador

    Maniac cop, good one Jack! Next you’ll be telling me about Deadites and Spider-Men!

  • Conquistador

    Should we tell him the Maniac Cop is right behind him?

    Nah.

  • Conquistador

    So you’re just going to sit there and let it keep ringing? You’re quite the cop.

  • ccroxx

    I call this one…Blue Steal

  • Conquistador

    I believe it’s pronounced… “Menages a trois”

  • ccroxx

    Soooo you didn’t like Spiderman 3?

  • Conquistador

    Guys, don’t look so serious, it’s only “Tic-Tac-Toe”

  • Conquistador

    Bruce you need to blink. Bruce… Bruce?

  • MaxTorque

    SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Man, cops hypnotize so easy….

  • MaxTorque

    Okay, so you didn’t like “Shelley the Airhead”. My next buddy is a Woozle, and his name’s Peanut!

  • TEDDYX

    I wonder how long it will take before he smells my fart….

  • ThaRealSkratte

    …and if I stick my finger in the other hole, she smiles.

    • http://www.facebook.com/FPJ666 FPJ666

      hahaha

  • Retrovertigostudios

    “We’d like to file a missing person report. 6’1″, blonde hair, blue eyes, anatomically incorrect.”

  • Retrovertigostudios

    “We’d like to file a missing person report. Male. 6’1″, blonde hair, blue eyes, anatomically incorrect.”

  • Retrovertigostudios

    “So…. a Blonde and Bruce Campbell walk up to a security guard…..” “Oh, you’ve heard this one !?!”

  • signal84

    and your name sir ,its campbell,Bruce campbell

  • signal84

    she just keeps getting out of the basement , what do you want me to tell ya

  • http://www.facebook.com/FPJ666 FPJ666

    Cop: You don’t look like Tom Atkins?
    Bruce: No, that’s because he was thrown out a window within the first 30 minutes. I’m the new star.

  • pandroid7

    So…does this place rent by the hour or what?

  • ShaggyPA

    Ok #1 recipe for success: change name to Bruce Cambell

    • ShaggyPA

      Campbell….I guess my fingers dont like the letter P geesh

  • Whorror

    Police Report: Spousal abuse, tried to swallow soul.

  • Whorror

    I can teach you how to tame your hair if you’d like

  • Whorror

    You know I used to be a officer myself…

  • Whorror

    So then I said if you don’t like B movies you can get the hell out

  • Trixxxster

    Officer, I swear she’s my girlfriend! Can we forget that whole solicitation business?

  • Whorror

    We just couldn’t find the same font size for the 1/2

  • Whorror

    It’s no wonder you guys didn’t get my phone call, How old is that damn thing?!

  • Whorror

    Yes, he was about 20 feet tall and looked like a tree

  • Whorror

    Anybody ever tell you that you look like Elvis?

  • Trixxxster

    ‘Scuse me officer, I’m here to take care of your Guan-Di problem.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000474008088 Mr. Synister

    “You know how women driver’s are, they run into everything.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000474008088 Mr. Synister

    “Caught her for whoring again, go figure”

  • Evan3

    “That’s right officer… Ive got a license to chin”

  • Evan3

    “OK, I’ll bail out the Coen brothers … for the offense of “Crimewave””

  • HarleyQuinnJoker

    “I SWEAR she was eighteen…”

  • evenscarier

    Listen, Bub, I don’t care if you were only in there 5 minutes, you still pay the half-hour minimum….

  • lv99ron

    Ash: BAZINGA!
    Officer: Here, let me write down a few catchphrases for you, so you never have to use that again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.j.trimble Michael Trimble

    Ok,so let me get this straight. You picked her up,had sex with her, and your mad because she’s a man?

  • we are the strange

    Yes, officer, I said “chainsaw”
    You think scissors are gonna cut her hair?

  • xxxwolf666

    I’d like to report the theft of one boomstick

  • miradotheblack

    Officer:So, magic, creatures, evil, stick that booms…

    You Harry Potter?

  • LASERBLAST

    Reality star? And Elvis? Are you fuc*&ng kidding?

  • LASERBLAST

    Sorry, 48 hours, then you can report a missing career.

  • Mbed

    Damn it, Raimi… You know I hate acting in your conjugal visit fantasies…

  • Mbed

    Gimme 5 minutes with sequel-thievin’, court-date-skippin’ Glenn Macrae… “Consequences” indeed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ryancarlsexton Ryan Sexton

    We want to press charges against the maniac who crimped her hair

  • Ronster

    Officer, I should be the one to give you my autograph, instead?

  • Ronster

    Bruce Campbell, you have the right to go and purchase me a box of assorted doughnuts, and here’s the address to doughnut king.

  • signal84

    STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN

  • russellg79

    Officer, can you please explain to her the difference between “legitimate” rape and date rape.

  • russellg79

    The suspect was wearing a black apron and had a blow dryer in one hand and a flat iron in the other.

  • russellg79

    Bruce Campbell welcomes the first female into the “Members Only” club.

  • swonx13

    wanna touch my boomstick officer, the she-bitch won’t do it!

  • swonx13

    I don’t want any jailhouse blues but would you like to touch my blue suede shoes!

  • swonx13

    Are you sure you don’t want my autograph?

  • swonx13

    I’m Bruce Campbell and she won’t even have sex with me!

  • swonx13

    Is that a boomstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  • swonx13

    Look can I borrow a 40 to pay for this BJ?

  • swonx13

    So you say it had one eye, horns, and was purple…?

  • blackiesson73

    Hey officer,when i said would you like a autograph i meant MY autograph not yours !!!!

  • RCandy

    …and so you’re just trying to reunite her with her lost mannequin family.
    Got it.

  • Grim-Ocelot

    Look officer…this is a three way staring contest. So you’re gonna have to look up.

  • SuperKilla

    That’s right she doesn’t talk, just gawks.

  • bub4president2012

    This is not the Doug I was looking for.

  • bub4president2012

    You should hear her version of my rights…

  • bub4president2012

    Officer….I would like report the theft of my dignity.

  • Beanis

    Would you please get your chin off of my desk!

  • Beanis

    Calm down ma’am, I put an APB out on the “Crimping Bandit”.

  • Beanis

    So Ash, you were working when S-Mart was robbed?

  • Beanis

    I promise, you’ll both make it to the second sequel.

  • Beanis

    I’m sorry, the fashion police does ticket for hair too.

  • Beanis

    Officer, it’s a crime what the Deadites did to her hair.

  • Decapitated_Dave

    Lady Gaga’s definitely a member of the Aryan Brotherhood… DO SOMETHING!

  • TEDDYX

    Excuse me ? How much for 1/2 hr ?

  • danielhegarty

    What’s the charge officer? Fifty accounts of not being able to act.

  • danielhegarty

    Look i’ve told you before… A chainsaw is not a hand!

  • Janice Heming

    Noooo,my wife is not Chrissy Snow from “Three’s Company”!!!

  • danielhegarty

    I got some bad news Bruce… This is the film you get more then five minutes screen time in.

    • danielhegarty

      I got some bad news Bruce… This is the last film you get more then five minutes screen time in.

  • danielhegarty

    Sorry Bruce but Kirk Douglas needs it back.

  • miradotheblack

    Soooo, a Mr Typecast,

    Stole your Career?

  • miradotheblack

    Thats Rogaine AND Hairclub for Men?

  • Conquistador

    Bruce: I’m telling you, my name is Bruce Campbell!

    Officer: Nice try, Ash!

  • xRAPExAPEx

    Yes officer….it’s bound in human flesh and inked in blood. Should be easy to recover.

  • Conquistador

    I just don’t know if I like that color.

    Look officer, we’re running out of wigs to show you!

  • Conquistador

    Hold still you two, your portrait is almost finished

  • Conquistador

    Folks, I said “Freeze” two hours ago… you can move now!

  • Conquistador

    So we’re not even big enough stars to audition for “Dancing With The Stars”?!

  • Conquistador

    Look officer, it’s simple horror movie math; we survive, you don’t.

  • Conquistador

    Sorry pal, you’re a supporting character in a horror movie… you won’t make it to the third act

  • Conquistador

    I’m going to level with you officer… you’re a beautiful man

  • Conquistador

    I’m going to level with you officer… you’re an incredibly ugly man

  • Conquistador

    Near as I can figure, the year is 1988… and I’m being typecast to death

  • Conquistador

    You know your shoelace is untied. Don’t believe me? Well it’s worked before

  • Tsmith1975

    Awesome! They finally remade “Splash”!

  • SoftSystem

    Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?

  • Remember-Slithis

    Hey pal you want to buy a gently used “Real Doll”!

  • Conquistador

    Aww, chin up officer. She says “not in a million years fatso” to lots of guys!

  • Conquistador

    Oh come on officer, she meant “nice hair” as a compliment!

  • Conquistador

    So first you color, then you condition…

    Hang on, let me write this down.

  • Conquistador

    Alright put you lips like this, then blow… sounds just like a fart

  • Conquistador

    We REALLY like this side of your face.

    Yeah, I get that a lot.

  • Conquistador

    Why won’t you write it?!

    Because “Bruce Campbell” is NOT a 4-letter synonym for famous actor!

  • Conquistador

    C’mon pal, quit stalling and pick…

    Alright, I guess I’ll take 5 boxes of the thin mints.

  • Conquistador

    So you’ve NEVER heard of me?

    Yeah, Bruce Campbell… from “the Rocketeer”, right?

  • hardwey

    Excuse me, I need to find the closest Old Navy before midnight!
    So far this has cost me nothing- I would like to keep it that way!

  • SuperKilla

    That’s right, she can’t understand us. She’s retarded.

  • Conquistador

    So it’s really official?

    Yes sir, you and your giant Barbie are legally married.

  • Conquistador

    You ever thought about acting? I could use you in “Bubba Po-Po”

  • BigBadQDaddy

    “Wait, are you trying to tell me, Bruce F-ing Campbell, that Sam Raimi is going to make more money that me? AND from some god damned ‘Spider Man’ movies?! What was that? He is going to cast me as a door man? Stick to your day job, Mr. Fancy Pants!”

  • signal84

    security officer: let me guess bill compton and sookie stackhouse hahaha wheres your buddy eric

  • Mr-Turdlington

    Yeah, I knows its big, but trust me, his face is WAY bigger than mine

  • bipartite

    Yes Officer we would like to report a missing Chin.

  • Joey_Redballs

    Sir, I assure you she’s top notch. I tried her out myself.

  • Joey_Redballs

    Cliff, I told you to screen these groupies! Her hair is crimped and clearly unacceptable.

  • Joey_Redballs

    We paid good money for that vibrator, and I’m not about to let the TSA take it away!

  • Joey_Redballs

    Look officer, we both know she’s over 18. I just tell people she’s 16 so I can do more business.

  • joseph23

    We are here for 1) post bail for Michael Westen; how much of a discount will I get for this blonde? and 2) file a report for a missing/stolen book “Necronomicon”; do you take those here or do you have the number for ghost busters?

  • JimboBruno

    That awkward moment when you realize that not being recognized while you’re signing in at the security desk for the remake of your own movie

    is still better than being stuck on Burn Notice.

  • Joey_Redballs

    You’re going tear up my wife’s parking tickets, or I’m gonna shove this phone up your ass.

  • Joey_Redballs

    I’ve run out of comments. Watch this video where Bruce Campbell threatens to smash my camera and hit me with a water bottle. Then to top it off, he gives me the finger. In his defense, he was having a bad day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVuKoAn9RxQ

  • Joey_Redballs

    How the hell was I supposed to know this Russian hussy was a minor? Obviously she’s got a lot of city miles.

  • Joey_Redballs

    C’mon give us a break. We’re both navy men. No dice? My name? Chuck. Chuck Finley.

  • SuperKilla

    See, she doesn’t even blink. You can’t even tell I’m giving her the bowling ball grip.

  • Joey_Redballs

    We’re here to visit her mother, Henrietta. She’s the she-bitch in room 1408.

  • Joey_Redballs

    I’m with the fashion police. I’m writing your wife a citation for crimped hair.

  • Joey_Redballs

    Visiting hours prohibit 3-ways and all nature of orgy. No exceptions, Mr. Campbell.

  • Joey_Redballs

    Hello, would you please explain to my husband that he cannot have me committed for being a “crazy bitch”?

  • Joey_Redballs

    Can the hospital just please take her in for a few days until this PMS blows over?

  • Joey_Redballs

    I’m with the fashion police. This citation is for your wife’s crimped hair and aqua turtleneck. I’m going to let the jacket slide.

  • Joey_Redballs

    So Tina forgot to take her meds and blew some kid in the Food Court. So what? It happens.

  • Joey_Redballs

    How were we supposed to know you can’t have sex in the dressing room? Show me a sign that says that.

  • Joey_Redballs

    Loss Prevention…I caught her smuggling feminine hygiene products. Phew! She really needs them.

  • Lou

    Look at me! While I undress you with my eyes.

  • Ultrazilla

    I promise you officer, she’s NOT a mermaid! You’ve got the wrong movie!

  • davidbleezy

    Look at me! Not the puppet!

  • Janice Heming

    Excuse me, sir, can you tell us on what floor are they holding the Suzanne Somers lookalike contest???

  • John_Doe

    So… you’re telling me it was a tree that attacked your wife?

  • SuperKilla

    Hi, I’m Sly Stallone and this is my friend Dolph Lundgren.

  • gir

    Now Bruce, are you sure we need an Evil Dead remake?

  • Conquistador

    I’ve warned you two before: NO MORE SEQUELS!

  • Janice Heming

    Honey, I told you before that Fatty over here isn’t interested in joining your Jazzercise class!

  • EvanDickson

    Alright guys, contest is closed! Thanks! Winner will be announced tomorrow!

  • KC

    I’d like to have her shaved and deloused. If I’m not back by 3 just leave her tied to the dumpster out back.

  • brent

    Excuse me officer…

    I’m here to bail out Sam Raimi

  • shooting_duck

    “The killer’s face is HUGE and shovel-esque! Think my chin… only smaller!”

  • ZombiesAteMyNeighbors

    ” Ok ma’am let’s go over this again… Where was the last place you saw his detachable penis?

  • ZombiesAteMyNeighbors

    “Let me get this straight officer…it’s my fault an axe murderer snuck into my backseat because I didn’t lock the car doors?”

  • KCinSt.Pete

    He was about 5’ 10″, heavy set. Double chin, balding…with…an alarmingly…frizzy comb-over…

  • deandean1990

    What do you mean you will only help us if I show you my tits?!

  • deandean1990

    No, I wasn’t in Splash the movie, I was Anna Nicole Smiths body double in “Country Plowin’.

  • deandean1990

    Honey, my pubes are kinked too, did you want to see?

  • myers78

    Bruce ) Officer quickly, this woman needs your help !

    officer) Sorry Bruce theres nothing I can do she needs the fashion Police.

  • worldwarzac

    Say what again? They are making a Evil Dead remake.

  • worldwarzac

    You can be serious?!? I end up starring in a TNT show called Burn Notice???

  • Grigori

    I’m sorry….Klattu,Verata, what?

  • Howtoloseweightfastt

    How to lose weight fast?
    http://howtoloseweightfastdiet.net

  • wellsworld

    Let’s see if you will take a seat the masked man with the knife in jail cell be will be able to assist you momentarily. Would you like shampoo along with your trim?