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No Crypt Keeper In New ‘Tales From the Crypt’!? (Exclusive)

Image courtesy of HBO

We were cackling in excitement with today’s news that TNT was teaming with M. Night Shyamalan to revive “Tales From the Crypt.”

That is until we heard some disconcerting Intel.

While we haven’t confirmed this, our trustworthy insider tells us that the new incarnation of “Tales From the Crypt” will not feature the Crypt Keeper that was voiced by John Kassir because HBO owns the rights. In fact, Kassir himself tweeted, “…Crypt Keeper as we know him is more popular than ever & it’d be a sham/shame not to have him host the show,” furthering suspicions that this is how the series will play out.

Instead, the new show will be highlighted by an old man with a cane, wearing a hood, and keeping warm by a fireplace. This is more in tune with the original EC comic (see below), and even resembles the Old Witch quite a bit.

The Crypt Keeper that we all know and love was created for the HBO series, and has become the spirit of the franchise, but reinventing him isn’t necessarily sacrilegious. With that said, I’m not exactly sure I want to see a fresh take on the character. We saw what happened with Freddy Krueger.

Anyways, here’s where it gets extra meh.

The original plan, whether it’s changed or not, was to film it “American Horror Story”-style, and have 13 episodes of one storyline per season.

Oh, it gets worse. Not only will there be no weekly “anthology” story, but we’re told the first season has nothing to do with the actual comics. Not to mention it’s scripted by the writers behind the awful “Hemlock Grove.”

And if you’re curious, what we heard is that it will be about voodoo in New Orleans (“True Blood” and “American Horror Story” have both tackled this).

So, get ready for the return of “Tales From the Crypt” in name only. I’m preparing myself for disappointment so the shock won’t kill me come the series premiere.





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