Movies
Alone in the Dark II (V)
“Do yourself a favor; pretend this film was never even made. I’m still struggling to find a way to erase this from my memory.”
Uwe Boll, we get it. You really really like making horror video games into shitty movies. You’ve made your point, and you can stop now. A movie came out this past year that had cameo performances from PJ Soles, Danny Trejo, and starred Bill Moseley, and Lance Henrikson. With a banging lineup like this, it seems that this should have been an absolute cult hit complete with nerdy fans in costumes. However, this was part of the lineup for Alone in the Dark II. Yes, a sequel to the same film that raped a horrifying video game adaptation and threw Tara Reid into a film where she had to actually act scared without a piece of food in front of her. The original film starred Christian Slater and regretfully, he isn’t starring in the sequel. One would assume that they’d replace him with a look-a-like of some sort, right? I mean, that would be the logical thing to do, wouldn’t it? Apparently I’m alone on this one because some BRILLIANT casting director replaced him with the Asian guy from Fast and Furious.
Uwe Boll may have only been the producer of this film, but the directing job was given to Peter Scheerer and Michael Roesch; who wrote the first Alone in the Dark as well as Boll’s House of the Dead II. If this glittering resume doesn’t draw you in enough, maybe the fact they wrote Boll’s upcoming film Far Cry will reel you in. In the simplest terms, the three people responsible for some of the worst films of the decade are at it again.
Alone in the Dark II is quite possibly one of the worst films I’ve ever had the displeasure to sit through. Watching the dog lick it’s own ass in the middle of the living room was more entertaining than this film. The script is terrible, the pacing is ridiculous, the character development is non existent, and the acting is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. If American Idol was a show about acting, the acting in Alone in the Dark II would be the bad auditions they put on TV just to make fun of. Watching Asian Slater attempt to look like he’s in pain while pouting his lips and panting like he ran a marathon was downright painful. The acting wasn’t even “so bad, it’s campy” it was just horrible. While I have no problem with re-casting if needed, I don’t understand why they would switch ethnicities to the MAIN character. It took about 25 minutes or so for me to realize that he was supposed to be Christian Slater’s character, and it completely took me out of the film. (Not like I was all that invested in the first place). Another scene in the film has one of those “but they can’t be dead!” endings, and magically one of the characters survives a bullet in the leg and the face from point blank and even has the stamina to giggle back to the cabin as if he just pulled a splinter from his leg.
The pacing was so out of control awful that I literally went to pull the popcorn out of the microwave, came back, and had no idea how the hell they got to where they were, why they were there, and what it had to do with the plot.
Even in the new millennium, special effects couldn’t save this film. There’s some pretty awful CGI and all of the actors have the aim of the A-Team. They must have unloaded about 400 rounds to the glowing CGI monster that resembled something Robert Rodriguez would put in the films he lets his kids write. The worst offender in this however, was the makeup job. There’s this dagger that belongs to the witch/CGI monster that leaves you scarred if you touch it. While I was hoping to get some sick scars and mutations, I was given something that resembled whipping someone with a tree branch and putting silly putty over it. Homemade makeup effects aren’t that difficult, and they still managed to find a way to screw it up.
Do yourself a favor; pretend this film was never even made. I’m still struggling to find a way to erase this from my memory.
Movies
‘Strange Journey: The Story of Rocky Horror’ Review – The Definitive Rocky Horror Documentary
You can’t force a cultural phenomenon. At the end of the day, it’s the audience who decides what is and isn’t remembered, and all artists can do is try their best to express themselves honestly enough that their work might eventually connect with a certain crowd. As it stands, the gold standard for a cult hit that grew into something much larger than its creators could have anticipated due to fan involvement happens to be The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
A musical love-letter to the b-movies of yesteryear that also inspired generations of LGBTQ+ inclusive fan communities around the world, both the film and the original stage musical boast an ongoing legacy that shows no sign of slowing down decades down the line In honor of the 50th anniversary of the original film’s relaunch as a midnight movie that cemented it as a perpetual big screen hit, Linus O’Brien, son of Richard O’Brien, the creator of Rocky Horror and actor behind the fan-favorite Riff Raff, presents fans with his long-awaited documentary: Strange Journey: The Story of Rocky Horror.
Of course, you might be wondering if this new release justifies doing the Time Warp again after so many existing celebrations of the original film, so let’s dig a little deeper into Linus’ production.
Through a dynamic combination of archival footage, personal photographs and in-depth interviews with the original cast (such as Susan Sarandon, Nell Campbell, Patricia Quinn and Tim Curry), as well as commentary by hardcore fans like Jack Black and Trixie Mattel, Strange Journey follows the origins of Rocky Horror all the way from Richard O’Brien’s New Zealand upbringing to the shadow casts and online fandom motivating the film adaptation’s modern-day screenings. The documentary also serves as a surprisingly poignant look at how O’Brien views the “franchise” as a whole and how it reflects his personal journey of self-discovery.

Right out of the gate, the film sets itself up as something of a trip down memory lane for hardcore fans as we’re treated to footage of Richard reckoning with the statue of Riff Raff in Hamilton, New Zealand – right next to where he used to cut hair for a living. While the film benefits from plenty of b-roll borrowed from the Rocky Horror Picture Show as a means of hyping up segments of the documentary and even serving as the occasional punchline, Linus expects that viewers are already familiar with the landmark film and dives straight into the cultural context in which his father began working on the surprisingly lo-fi project.
Information goes by fast due to the brisk 80-minute runtime, but I appreciate the nods to Richard’s creative process as we see handwritten songs in a personal notebook that was eventually expanded into the musical’s script. The idea that O’Brien’s method training informed a different view of B-movie performances is undeniably fascinating -as are his musings on genre cinema – but it’s really when the rest of the cast and director Jim Sharman show up that the documentary really shifts into gear.
Sharman’s insight into the low-budget production aspects of the play makes it clear that this was a rag-tag team of artists taking advantage of raw talent and a new cultural zeitgeist that allowed them to confront taboo subject matter. Susan Sarandon is (unsurprisingly) a joy to watch as she reminisces about her time working on the movie adaptation, showing genuine appreciation for the hardship inherent to passionate indie productions. Of course, Tim Curry’s contributions are some of the most compelling, with his comments on how he originally wanted Dr. Frank-N-Furter to have a German accent until a random encounter on the bus made him realize that the good doctor should speak like the Queen, really making you appreciate the big ideas that turned a small production into a smash hit.
That being said, my personal favorite source of snarky quotes and anecdotes is Patricia Quinn, who originally played Magenta. Her stories about a brief romantic encounter with Meatloaf and how grateful she is that the film adaptation of the musical kept most of the original cast are incredibly entertaining and add to the sense that the production captured lightning in a bottle in a way that can never be replicated.

Susan Sarandon in ‘Strange Journey: The Story of Rocky Horror’
As a longtime fan, it was hard not to get swept up in the nostalgia when the file showed pictures of these young performers unaware that their lives were about to be changed forever by a weird little musical – especially when Richard O’Brien would come in with his guitar and perform acoustic versions of some of his most iconic tracks.
Yet, the completely justified pride that Richard appears to feel when presenting the music to his son, and by extension the audience, alongside the existential questions that this exceedingly personal project forces him to revisit, are what make Strange Journey so much more than a corporate puff piece. While I would have liked to see more interaction between the two generations of O’Brien’s, as you get the feeling that Linus is searching for his place in a legacy that extends far beyond his unusual family history, there is enough of an emotional core here that you’ll likely walk away from the experience thinking about what it means to have a single project define your entire life.
At the end of the day, I can’t imagine a more definitive exploration of everything that makes The Rocky Horror Picture Show such a cultural landmark. Featuring memorable insight from nearly all the major players, with the obvious exception of the late, great Meatloaf, and enough behind-the-scenes imagery to make you feel like you were there alongside the team from the very beginning, Strange Journey is the perfect companion to the 1975 masterpiece. That’s why I’d recommend this return to our favorite Frankenstein Place for both diehard fans and newcomers alike.
Strange Journey: The Story of Rocky Horror is available now on digital platforms everywhere.

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