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[Review] ‘A Good Marriage’ Is the Worst Stephen King Movie Yet

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Like many of the adaptations of the horror master’s work, A Good Marriage, adapted by Stephen King from his novella and directed by Peter Askin, suffers from transition pains. Big ones. The films based on his work rarely manage to capture the sense of suburban dread his writing manages to invoke so effectively. Even when he writes the damn screenplay himself, the films hardly ever instill the same feelings that reading the stories can give you (I’d say Pet Sematary is the most successful). A Good Marriage is not only the worst adaptation of King’s work, it’s easily one of the dullest.

King was inspired to write A Good Marriage (which appears in the 2010 collection “Full Dark, No Stars”) by the BTK Killer, Dennis Radner. This seemingly normal guy was a pillar of the community and was happily married to his wife for nearly 30 years when it was revealed he was a brutal serial killer. How could she not know? Almost three decades, 10 victims, and his wife had no clue? Makes for one helluva jumping off point for a King story.

After an engaging and eerily shot opening sequence, A Good Marriage starts rolling out the cliches and long stretches of tedium. Anthony LaPaglia and Joan Allen star as Bob and Darcy, the two halves of the titular marriage. Bob is a successful accountant while Darcy manages their coin collecting and trading business from home. They live a peaceful existence in a quaint New England town (of course), but the area is soon rocked when a serial killer dubbed “Beadie” murders his 12th female victim.

Beadie’s M.O. is similar to the BTK’s. He brutally tortures the women before killing them. Afterwards, he mails their identification to the police with a note. Bob leaves for a business trip and as she’s cleaning, Darcy discovers a hidden stash of evidence damning her virtuous husband. Knowing that he’s the savage Beadie killer, Darcy’s mental stability begins to break down as she wonders how she could possibly confront him. Even scarier to think about, how can she protect their three children from dear old Bob?

This all sounds like a solid premise for a vicious psychological combat between Darcy and Bob. Instead, A Good Marriage loses steam shockingly fast and badly meanders to the point where I nearly lost interest in the film entirely. It repeatedly covers the same ground, spinning its wheels as it resets the tension every time King and Askin manage to build a hint of it up. The look of the film doesn’t help either. It resembles a Lifetime movie and Darcy and Bob’s house (where most of the film is shot) comes off painfully like a set. Thematically, it only flirts with the cold-bloodedness initially suggested.

As Bob, LaPaglia brings a nice duality to his performance. He’s sweet and husbandly when it’s called for and callous when Beadie comes out. Allen, on the other hand, coldly plays Darcy. While she’s supposed to be going through this powerful dilemma, she gives us no believable emotion to latch on to. She doesn’t seem too terribly determined to capture our sympathies.

A Good Marriage works far better on the page and maybe would’ve been more successful as a short film. It’s a horribly flat film and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a King adaptation so boring and deflated of thrills. There’s an attempt at a twist deep into the film, but by then it’s too little and WAY too late. This one’s a total bummer.

Patrick writes stuff about stuff for Bloody and Collider. His fiction has appeared in ThugLit, Shotgun Honey, Flash Fiction Magazine, and your mother's will. He'll have a ginger ale, thanks.

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Gateway Horror Classic ‘The Gate’ Returns to Life With Blu-ray SteelBook in May

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One of my personal favorite horror movies of all time, 1987’s gateway horror classic The Gate is opening back up on May 14 with a brand new Blu-ray SteelBook release from Lionsgate!

The new release will feature fresh SteelBook artwork from Vance Kelly, seen below.

Special Features, all of which were previously released, include…

  • Audio Commentaries
    • Director Tibor Takacs, Writer Michael Nankin, and Special Effects Designer & Supervisor Randall William Cook
    • Special Effects Designer & Supervisor Randall William Cook, Special Make-Up Effects Artist Craig Reardon, Special Effects Artist Frank Carere, and Matte Photographer Bill Taylor
  • Isolated Score Selections and Audio Interview
  • Featurettes:
    • The Gate: Unlocked
    • Minion Maker
    • From Hell It Came
    • The Workman Speaks!
    • Made in Canada
    • From Hell: The Creatures & Demons of The Gate
    • The Gatekeepers
    • Vintage Featurette: Making of The Gate
  • Teaser Trailer
  • Theatrical Trailer
  • TV Spot
  • Storyboard Gallery
  • Behind-the-Scenes Still Gallery

When best friends Glen (Stephen Dorff) and Terry (Louis Tripp) stumble across a mysterious crystalline rock in Glen’s backyard, they quickly dig up the newly sodden lawn searching for more precious stones. Instead, they unearth The Gate — an underground chamber of terrifying demonic evil. The teenagers soon understand what evil they’ve released as they are overcome with an assortment of horrific experiences. With fiendish followers invading suburbia, it’s now up to the kids to discover the secret that can lock The Gate forever . . . if it’s not too late.

If you’ve never seen The Gate, it’s now streaming on Prime Video and Tubi.

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