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[TV Review] “The X-Files” Drinks the Kool-Aid in “Nothing Lasts Forever”

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“The X-Files” drinks the Kool-Aid and worships a particularly bonkers cult where eternal youth is just a disturbing organ transplant away

“I found a cure for the greatest disease of all mankind. Every human has a ticking time bomb inside of them and I figured out how to defuse it.”

Sometimes a certain topic might seem like a questionable choice for The X-Files, but the areas of creepy cults and organ theft mutilation rituals are definitely disturbing content that are tailor mode for The X-Files. Seasons eight and nine of The X-Files get an unreasonable amount of hate, but the season eight entry “Roadrunners” is one of the creepiest episodes from the show’s entire run (not to mention one of Vince Gilligan’s final X-Files scripts). It’s an installment that understands how to pair together the idea of a brainwashed cult and body horror to inspired effect. “Nothing Lasts Forever” might not have the same personal stakes that “Roadrunners” taps into, but it’s still a satisfying entry that finds something new to say on the topic.

“Nothing Lasts Forever” starts off with a rather intense cold open that feels like it could be the beginning of an episode of James Cameron’s Dark Angel. A graphic surgery turns into an espionage-laced organ heist where a bad-ass female is the one responsible for the crimes. If that wasn’t enough, the killings have a very unique quality to them as the organ thief victims get a giant spike through their hearts, but it’s a long steel pole rather than a tiny wooden stake. That’s a lot of elements to throw at the audience in the episode’s opening minutes, but it also appropriately sets the stage for a very unique case that stumps Mulder and Scully for a while. There’s even a solid stretch of time where Scully doesn’t even think that this is an X-Files.

Mulder and Scully realize that a wealth of liver and pancreas appear to be absent from the victims. However, missing organs with suspicious backstories are hardly the strangest things about what’s going on here. What transpires is one of the more disturbing X-Files stories and a tale of skewed Munchausen Syndrome that feels reminiscent of Home, to be honest. There is a disturbing cult at play that has developed a way to cheat death and obtain eternal youth, so to speak. The way in which the cult’s leader, Dr. Luvenis (Jere Burns), achieves this is by grafting young healthy people to his back and siphoning off their vitality. The scariest part about all of this is that the victims that are grafted to Luvenis consider such a torture to be an honor. Everyone in this episode volunteers for the mess that they’re in. “You’re my addiction, Dr. Luvenis,” they tell him. Luvenis’ wife, Barbara, talks about how broken and useless all of their members were before she found them. She preaches about how her torture and modifications to them is their salvation and the promise of an inspiring tomorrow. These are all the extreme lengths that people will go to feel beautiful or important.

It’s worth pointing out that “I WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL” is the statement that replaces “THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE” this week and the message there is rather significant. This statement speaks to the fact that Scully spends a portion of this episode in church and the show reminds the audience that this character is rather religious. The way in which the episode juxtaposes Scully’s religious communion with the ritualistic killings of Juliet tries to make a rather pointed commentary. The installment puts these slayings on the same level as organized religion and highlights how the two experiences can give the same degree of relief.

“I WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL” speaks to this need to commit terrible acts as a means to an end if it means reaching that reward. When Barbara murders people she refers to them as swans and says that they’ve never been prettier. Death is made synonymous with beauty here because it’s something that’s almost impossible to achieve in the flawed existence of life. If the same degree of spiritual solace can be felt by a specialized slaying, then is it really that different then a major institution? The power of faith can cause people to do incredible things.

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This episode is so rich in themes and it happens to come from another X-Files newcomer, Karen Nielsen (a script coordinator from Glen Morgan’s underseen one-season wonder, Intruders). Nielsen pens the episode and the always-reliable James Wong directs the season’s penultimate installment. It’s interesting to note that fans got so excited when this return to The X-Files announced that it would bring a number of the show’s original writers along with it. Honestly, though, some of the best episodes from this season have been the installments written by new writers who are anxious and hungry to leave their mark on the series. “Nothing Lasts Forever” is no exception and it’s a strong episode for the season to go out on before what will no doubt be the overly serious drag of a time that is “My Struggle Part IV” next week.

“Nothing Lasts Forever” actually touches on a lot of the same themes that were present in Morgan’s Intruders. That was a show about people who lived forever by stealing bodies and transporting consciousness through different people over centuries of time. The concept of this episode is essentially the same, only these cult members feel that they can live forever by donating their organs to the Luvenises, who in turn do live forever.

Jere freaking Burns is also in the house for this episode! Between him, Brian Huskey, Haley Joel Osment, and Barbara Hershey, this season has had some decent guest stars! Burns is fantastic in whatever he’s in, whether it’s his work on Breaking Bad, Angie Tribeca, or his unforgettable turn on Justified as Wynn Duffie, human cockroach. He plays Dr. Luvenis with such cold, calculated ferocity that definitely adds a lot to his character. At the same time, his stony demeanor absolutely softens whenever he tries to console his wife, Barbara (Fiona Vroom). They reflect the erratic bipolar nature of some of the most twisted murderous couples that are out there and they both give memorable performances here.

There’s also a bonkers sequences where Barbara croons “There Has to Be A Morning After” while her “seed” disciples willingly mutilate themselves and they feast on their “pure” organs. There’s a certain degree of self-awareness where the episode seems to knows just how ridiculous all of this is, but it’s a necessary evil if it means the show can deliver such disturbing, insane sequences.

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The episode also has a sort of Twilight Zone quality to it as well. The idea of an aging, washed up television star who can be in her 80s but look like she’s 40 is absolutely in their wheelhouse. The concept of “age as a disease” is nothing new, but “Nothing Lasts Forever” still manages to put its own classic X-Files twist on the concept. The whole “I will repay” steel stake killings from Juliet don’t exactly get explained in full, which is a little problematic. At the end of the day it sort of just feels like some extra weirdness thrown into the episode, but it still plays into the installment’s overall themes about beauty and obsession. “Nothing Lasts Forever” manages to surprise, entertain, and figure out some new ways to creep out its audience, all of which are important. It might not be the flashy episode that some viewers were hoping for before the season (series?) finale, but it still gets the job done.

Oh, and Mulder has progressive lenses now. It’s not a big thing. Although it does cause him to finally notice Scully’s haircut from two episodes ago. Let’s hope that he can beat the inevitable gout.

Next week’s the big one, guys. Let’s hope we can get through it with minimal mentions of alien DNA, ret-con rapes, and insulting dream sequences. Let’s take a leap of faith.

“The X-Files’” 11th season will conclude next Wednesday at 8pm (ET) on FOX

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Daniel Kurland is a freelance writer, comedian, and critic, whose work can be read on Splitsider, Bloody Disgusting, Den of Geek, ScreenRant, and across the Internet. Daniel knows that "Psycho II" is better than the original and that the last season of "The X-Files" doesn't deserve the bile that it conjures. If you want a drink thrown in your face, talk to him about "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part II," but he'll always happily talk about the "Puppet Master" franchise. The owls are not what they seem.

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“AHS: Delicate” Review – “Little Gold Man” Mixes Oscar Fever & Baby Fever into the Perfect Product

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American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 8 Mia Farrow

‘AHS: Delicate’ enters early labor with a fun, frenzied episode that finds the perfect tone and goes for broke as its water breaks.

“I’ll figure it out. Women always do.”

American Horror Story is no stranger to remixing real-life history with ludicrous, heightened Murphy-isms, whether it’s AHS: 1984’s incorporation of Richard Ramirez, AHS: Cult’s use of Valerie Solanas, or AHS: Coven’s prominent role for the Axeman of New Orleans. Accordingly, it’s very much par for the course for AHS: Delicate to riff on other pop culture touchstones and infinitely warp them to its wicked whims. That being said, it takes real guts to do a postmodern feminist version of Rosemary’s Baby and then actually put Mia Farrow – while she’s filming Rosemary’s Baby, no less – into the narrative. This is the type of gonzo bullshit that I want out of American Horror Story! Sharon Tate even shows up for a minute because why the hell not? Make no mistake, this is completely absurd, but the right kind of campy absurdity that’s consistently been in American Horror Story’s wheelhouse since its inception. It’s a wild introduction that sets up an Oscar-centric AHS: Delicate episode for success. “Little Gold Man” is a chaotic episode that’s worth its weight in gold and starts to bring this contentious season home. 

It’d be one thing if “Little Gold Man” just featured a brief detour to 1967 so that this season of pregnancy horror could cross off Rosemary’s Baby from its checklist. AHS: Delicate gets more ambitious with its revisionist history and goes so far as to say that Mia Farrow and Anna Victoria Alcott are similarly plagued. “Little Gold Man” intentionally gives Frank Sinatra dialogue that’s basically verbatim from Dex Harding Sr., which indicates that this demonic curse has been ruffling Hollywood’s feathers for the better part of a century. Anna Victoria Alcott’s Oscar-nominated feature film, The Auteur, is evidently no different than Rosemary’s Baby. It’s merely Satanic forces’ latest attempt to cultivate the “perfect product.” “Little Gold Man” even implies that the only reason that Mia Farrow didn’t go on to make waves at the 1969 Academy Awards and ends up with her twisted lot in life is because she couldn’t properly commit to Siobhan’s scheme, unlike Anna.

This is easily one of American Horror Story’s more ridiculous cold opens, but there’s a lot of love for the horror genre and Hollywood that pumps through its veins. If Hollywood needs to be a part of AHS: Delicate’s story then this is actually the perfect connective tissue. On that note, Claire DeJean plays Sharon Tate in “Little Gold Man” and does fine work with the brief scene. However, it would have been a nice, subtle nod of continuity if AHS: Delicate brought back Rachel Roberts who previously portrayed Tate in AHS: Cult. “Little Gold Man” still makes its point and to echo a famous line from Jennifer Lynch’s father’s television masterpiece: “It is happening again.”

“Little Gold Man” is rich in sequences where Anna just rides the waves of success and enjoys her blossoming fame. She feels empowered and begins to finally take control of her life, rather than let it push her around and get under her skin like a gestating fetus. Anna’s success coincides with a colossal exposition dump from Tavi Gevinson’s Cora, a character who’s been absent for so long that we were all seemingly meant to forget that she was ever someone who was supposed to be significant. Cora has apparently been the one pulling many of Anna’s strings all along as she goes Single White Female, rather than Anna having a case of Repulsion. It’s an explanation that oddly works and feeds into the episode’s more general message of dreams becoming nightmares. Cora continuing to stay aligned with Dr. Hill because she has student loans is also somehow, tragically the perfect explanation for her abhorrent behavior. It’s not the most outlandish series of events in an episode that also briefly gives Anna alligator legs and makes Emma Roberts and Kim Kardashian kiss.

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“Little Gold Man” often feels like it hits the fast-forward button as it delivers more answers, much in the same vein as last week’s “Ava Hestia.” These episodes are two sides of the same coin and it’s surely no coincidence that they’re both directed by Jennifer Lynch. This season has benefitted from being entirely written by Halley Feiffer – a first for the series – but it’s unfortunate that Lynch couldn’t direct every episode of AHS: Delicate instead of just four out of nine entries. That’s not to say that a version of this season that was unilaterally directed by Lynch would have been without its issues. However, it’s likely that there’d be a better sense of synergy across the season with fewer redundancies. She’s responsible for the best episodes of AHS: Delicate and it’s a disappointment that she won’t be the one who closes the season out in next week’s finale.

To this point, “Little Gold Man” utilizes immaculate pacing that helps this episode breeze by. Anna’s Oscar nomination and the awards ceremony are in the same episode, whereas it feels like “Part 1” of the season would have spaced these events out over four or five episodes. This frenzied tempo works in “Little Gold Man’s” favor as AHS: Delicate speed-runs to its finish instead of getting lost in laborious plotting and unnecessary storytelling. This is how the entire season should have been. Although it’s also worth pointing out that this is by far the shortest episode of American Horror Story to date at only 34 minutes. It’s a shame that the season’s strongest entries have also been the ones with the least amount of content. There could have been a whole other act to “Little Gold Man,” or at the least, a substantially longer cold open that got more out of its Mia Farrow mayhem. 

“Little Gold Man” is an American Horror Story episode that does everything right, but is still forced to contend with three-quarters of a subpar season. “Part 2” of AHS: Delicate actually helps the season’s first five episodes shine brighter in retrospect and this will definitely be a season that benefits from one long binge that doesn’t have a six-month break in the middle. Unfortunately, anyone who’s already watched it once will likely not feel compelled to experience these labor pains a second time over. With one episode to go and Anna’s potential demon offspring ready to greet the world, AHS: Delicate is poised to deliver one hell of a finale.

Although, to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, “How do you expect to be a good conclusion if this is what you’re chasing?” 

4 out of 5 skulls

American Horror Story Season 12 Episode 9 Anna Siobhan Kiss

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