Editorials
Best & Worst ’10: MICAH’S BOTTOM 5 OF 2010
Not every film released to direct-to-disc can be a winner. This list contains five such disc only releases from 2010. I attempted to not pick on the little guys (too much) and instead took a look at some of the larger disc release disappointments of the year. Luckily or unluckily depending on your outlook, it wasn’t hard to come up with a list of failures. Check `em out below. While this list is only DVD releases I would feel guilty if I didn’t at least mention widely released Legion in this intro. So I will. Legion. You suck.
BC (Best/Worst) | Micah (Best/Worst) | Keenan (Best/Worst) | Theo (Best/Worst)
Best One Sheets | Worst One Sheets
Most Memorable Moments | Top Trailers | Memorable Quotes
MICAH’S BOTTOM 5 OF 2010
A terrible clone of much better parasite worm films (Slither, Night of the Creeps) that offers nothing new, interesting or even remotely worth watching. There is a reason this one was direct-to-disc. Growth features a nonsensical, long-winded plot with holes big enough to drive Mack trucks through, zero interesting characters and no real scares.
Dull, poorly executed and hack-ish sum up this knock-off of contemporary horror classics. Director Pearry Teo attempts to combine blatantly steals elements from Hellraiser and the Saw franchise to create a mash-up that doesn’t go anywhere or do anything. The potential was there, but ultimately this one falls flat on its face. At least the suicide pig song was catchy.
Altitude contains so much to dislike: The Hills-like dialogue, poor direction and a ludicrously dumb ending. And that’s just for starters. The characters in the movie, all of them, are annoying and incredibly unlikeable, to the point that the only joy derived from this movie is rooting for all the snot-nosed bastards to die (in painful manners). Hype machine fail.
Yeah, not sure anyone asked for this sequel, but we got it anyway. This time around, audiences are treated to stilted dialogue and actors who give next to nothing in their performances. Mirrors 2 is a run-of-the-mill, dime-a-dozen Hollywood attempt to turn a quick buck. It fails, and does so rather miserably. If you do come across this, you at least can take comfort in the fact that the excellent original Japanese version is included on the DVD.
Between the piss-poor special effects (they had a decent-sized budget) and the lack of anything resembling a plot, this turned out to be one of the absolute worst releases of the year. And to think, this film somehow made it to Redbox locations across the country. Who paid for that to happen? Are you f*ckin’ kidding me? Not even worth a dollar rental.
Better Than It Should Have Been: Paranormal Activity 2. Better in almost all respects, minus the possessed pool cleaner, naturally.
Lived Up To The Hype: Piranha 3D. Not having real 3D almost made it a bust. Thankfully, Kelly Brook’s bust managed to save the day…and then some.
I Was So Wrong About Award: Parasomnia. Assuming this film was a Paranormal Activity knock-off, I avoided watching it for months and months. That was a dumb move. I ended up loving it.
Best Bat Sh*t Crazy Japanese Film of the Year: Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl. Honorable Mention: RoboGeisha.
Best Worst Film: 2010: Moby Dick. Asylum put it all together for this one. Go Barry Bostwick!
Hurry Up Already!: The Loved Ones. A UK disc release, but not a U.S. one? Ugh. C’mon!
Biggest Flop of the Year: Supporting unrated horror. I think I was one of six people that saw both Hatchet 2 and I Spit on Your Grave in theaters. Where was everyone at?
Best Disc Release of an Old Favorite: Three way tie between: Dark Night of the Scarecrow, Hausu and Night of the Hunter. All of them excellent in their own unique ways.
Best Kills of the Year: Hatchet 2. Adam Green’s controversial film seems to have divided horror fans (love or hate), but one thing is for sure. The kills are absolutely spectacular. Six foot chainsaw. `Nuff said.
The trailer for Ti West’s upcoming adaptation of A Christmas Carol raised a lot of eyebrows when it dropped earlier this week. While plenty of folks initially dismissed Ebenezer as a derivative project meant to cash in on the recent wave of unnecessary prequels that expand the backstory of beloved characters (such as 2023’s Wonka), Charles Dickens’ original novel already made a point of exploring Ebenezer Scrooge’s origins in detail – meaning that this new film is likely just a particularly faithful adaptation of the source material under a different name.
Couple that with the fact that the movie is being helmed by a genuine horror auteur and I think it’s safe to say that the latest iteration of the first modern ghost story is in good hands.
That being said, one detail that immediately jumped out at me during the brief teaser (other than a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nod to Johnny Depp’s iconic bedroom death scene from the original A Nightmare on Elm Street) is the fact that many of Ebenezer’s ghosts appear to have been directly lifted from the iconic John Leech illustrations that accompanied the first edition of Dickens’ novel.
Here are a couple of stills from the trailer compared to the original artwork:
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come in ‘Ebenezer’ and ‘A Christmas Carol’
The Phantoms in ‘A Christmas Carol’ and ‘Ebenezer’
Marley’s Ghost in ‘Ebenezer’ and ‘A Christmas Carol’
Mainly working with old-school wood and steel engravings that would later be transferred to print, Leech was instrumental in crafting the iconic look of history’s most influential phantoms – especially since Dickens is said to have been deeply involved with the creation of these so-called “comic illustrations.”
And since the novel is commonly said to have popularized spiritualism in Victorian England, much of the ghostly iconography that we still see in genre media to this very day (including some of Ti West’s previous films) can be traced back to the author’s partnership with Leech.
Ebenezer won’t be the first A Christmas Carol adaptation to borrow heavily from these designs, but I can appreciate how Ti West is incorporating an important part of horror history into his latest film.
Ebenezer will be available in theaters starting November 13.
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