Spiders
Seriously, is there any other creature on this planet that looks more alien and terrifying? I don’t care what anyone says, every single one of these fuckers is out to get us humans and it is our civic duty to step on them, crush them with rolled-up magazines, or set fire to them using your government-issued flamethrower. Just don’t burn your house down.
Being serious here, I’ve been terrified of these things since I was a little kid and one bit me on my face. And then there was this one time that I was at summer camp and I stepped on a really fat one. When I lifted my foot, a hundred baby spiders were spreading out in every direction. I’m being honest when I say that Usain Bolt couldn’t have caught me for how fast I was running.
Remember the ending scene in the 1958 The Fly, when the spider is descending upon the scientist in the web? Yeah, I actually had a full blown panic attack the first time I saw that. I wrapped myself in a blanket and sobbed while hyperventilating uncontrollably. Two minutes after the scene ended and I was fine. But those few minutes were absolutely awful.
Fuck spiders.
