Okay, so it’s no secret that Jessica Lange is probably the best thing about every season of “American Horror Story“, am I right? Her incredible acting and stunning performances across many characters through many time periods has been the main highlight of the series since it started in 2011.
As many of you know, Lange has made it clear that she’s done with the show. However, word since then is that show creator Ryan Murphy simply needs to create the right role for her to make a comeback. And you know what? I think I’ve figured out a story/role that would bring her back and see her check into the “Hotel”.
So, first of all I need to make it 100% clear that this is a theory and nothing more. This is NOT official news nor is this insider information. This is pure speculation but it’s fun as hell and I think that it could be something the writers are seriously considering.
Here are the facts about “American Horror Story: Hotel“:
The story takes place in the Cortez Hotel, a building built in 1930 that was actually intended to be used as a cover for murderous activities, much like the World’s Fair Hotel in Chicago that was owned and operated by Herman Webster Mudgett, a.k.a. Dr. Henry Howard Holmes, America’s first recorded serial killer.
The owner of the Cortez is Lady Gaga, a socialite who maintains her physical appearance by drinking human blood, echoing Countess Elizabeth Bathory. In fact, the name of Gaga’s character is “The Countess”.
Related: [Review] “American Horror Story: Hotel” Delivers Extreme Sex, Drugs and Violence!
Now, here’s where my theory comes into play. I believe that as the episodes unveil themselves, the story will progress in such a way as to make sure The Countess is deprived of her precious rejuvenating blood. And, just like Dorian Gray when faced with his own portrait, Gaga will age rapidly, her youth and beauty withering away. Then, imagine an episode wrapping up with Lady Gaga trashing her personal hotel room because of her frustration, anger, and desperation that she can’t receive her sorely needed fresh blood. Now, continue that imaginative streak by envisioning the final scene with Gaga hunched over a makeup desk, her back heaving as she gulps in breaths between sobs, her room a mess of broken furniture and decorations. As she stops crying, she lifts her head and looks into the mirror, showing that it’s now Jessica Lange staring at herself, old and enraged, her face streaked with tears.
Boom. Heads explode. The heavens open and a choir of angels sing their praises. Everyone loses their minds as the return of the REAL American Horror Story star comes back for one last episode of mayhem, carnage, and destruction in which she takes her revenge on those that wronged her.
Hey, Ryan Murphy! I’m available for consultations. Fees may (read: absolutely will) apply.