The Langoliers

Stephen King adaptations were all the rage in the early 90s, especially in a TV miniseries format. It’s a shame that this lackluster adaptation of his short story The Langoliers came from master of horror Tom Holland, the director of Child’s Play and Fright Night, and also the writer of the extremely underrated Psycho II. The Langoliers is not good, and may in fact be Holland’s worst film. One of the strengths of King’s short story is that you couldn’t actually see the titular monsters. They were described as little spheres with chainsaw-like teeth. Their depiction in the adaptation is so bad that it’s almost impossible to describe. A little bit of leeway can be given since the budget probably wasn’t that high (it was a TV miniseries after all), but at that point just don’t show the little bastards.

The Mummy Returns

I remember sitting in theaters for this in 2001 and I was so excited because it was my first big horror sequel to see in theaters (I was 12 at the time). Little did I know the stinker I would be in for. Quality of the film aside, I dare you to keep a straight face when the Scorpion King (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) makes his appearance in the third act. Who thought this was ready to release? It looks like an unfinished print, yet it somehow made it to theaters 15 years ago.

Spawn

Another victim of the CGI boom of the 90s, Spawn was filled with visual effects that even impressed Roger Ebert himself. Looking back on it now though, it’s absolutely ridiculous. One of the worst effects is Clown’s (John Leguizamo) transformation into the Violator. It’s a Mortal Kombat: Annihilation animality level of bad.

The Ring 2

Oh deer. The Ring 2 isn’t known for being anything other than a terrible sequel to a wonderful remake, but it’s hard to believe director Hideo Nakata (who directed the original Ringu) watched this scene and said to himself “Yep, that looks good.” Just a warning: the deer look bad.