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13 Unlikable ‘Friday the 13th’ Victims Whose Deaths We Cheered

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Jason Friday the 13th Part III Anniversary

Because sometimes, a little machete justice is well deserved.

October this year not only brings with it the Halloween holiday we ache for 364 days out of the year, but a bonus Friday the 13th as well; it doesn’t get any better than that folks. And while Michael Myers eats up most of the glory this month, the Shape takes a breather for a day as our special, special boy Jason takes the reigns as we focus on one-third of the unholy trinity (Freddy, Jason, and Michael) on his day of reckoning. Also, let’s talk science here- some of that violent reckoning felt great to those who really had it coming.

Yes, like most horror films, you have a hero, best buddy, comic relief, and of course, a serious douchebag. Classic standards that make up the cast for a horror movie, right? And the beloved Friday the 13th franchise had more than its fair share of scum sharing the screen with Camp Crystal Lake’s most notorious mama’s boy, who when met face-to-face with the machete of justice, we cheered as if our hometown sports team won the state championship.

In celebration of one of our favorite ongoing (hopefully) series of slasher films and the second greatest day of the year, instead of weeping for the innocents’ fate at the hands (or power tool) of Jason, we rejoice in the much-welcomed departure of 13 of Crystal Lake’s biggest assholes.


13. Shelly Finkelstein

Some people love the character of Shelly, while some find him insufferable. I almost feel like a prick for putting him on this list, however, when I hear him speak after a recent rewatch, I don’t feel as bad for including the “Franklin” of the F13 franchise. His ongoing bad pranks of “the boy who cried wolf”, ended abruptly and ever so adequately with a slash to the throat rendering him unable to speak- thank fucks…


12. Axle Burns

Axle had a bit part in The Final Chapter, but the little time he spent on screen, made us hate this dirty creep enough to crack a smile when Jason served him his just desserts with a throat slash and bonus head twist. Sorry Axle, weirdo-sexy-booty-rump time is over. Jackass.


11. Tamara Mason

The mean girl award of 1989 definitely goes to Tamara Mason. This manipulative chick who also peer pressures her friend into using drugs, attempts to use her looks and sexuality to advance in life, giving zero fucks who gets hurt in the process. Ironically enough, Jason kills her with pieces of a broken mirror in her bathroom. Poetic justice? Absolutely.


10. Ethel Hubbard

Ethel Hubbard, the foul-mouthed redneck down the road brings the sanctity of bitchdom to a whole other level of crazy in The New Beginning. While her oddball mama’s boy of a son could rival Jason’s own admiration for his mother, he couldn’t even hold a candle to this broad. She acted as if the kids in the group home shit in her cheerios on a daily basis, and if ole Roy hadn’t killed the teens, she probably would have eventually. Also, I was pretty relieved once her shrilling voice fell silent in her soup slop.


9. Trent Sutton

Man, Trent was such a narcissistic douchebag. He’s like the popular guy in high school who got off on making people who he deemed beneath him lives so goddamn miserable, and you wanted to see the shithead trip and fall flat on his face, breaking his nose so badly. He’s a controlling boyfriend and a cheating scum. Jenna deserved way better- and Trent deserved that trip down Crystal Lake Justice Lane.


8. Melissa Paur

Snobby Melissa from The New Blood may have been a match made in Heaven for ole Trent before her on this list. How the people that had to be in close proximity of this character didn’t knock her teeth out, is beyond my comprehension. Manipulative and sneaky, this bitch tried to play all her cards to get her way; and that way resulted in an ax to her forehead. A glorious end to miss pink and pearls if you’re asking me.


7. Robert Campbell

This sleazy journalist from Jason Goes to Hell gives us all a bad name. Hijacking the body of his girlfriend’s mother for the purposes of fame and job advancement is pretty damn despicable. The guy never passed Ethics 101 I’m guessing. Campbell being possessed by Jason makes him just over the top cringe-worthy, if that were even possible, yet here we are. And his place, along with his body resulting in a puddle of melted goo per the Jason possession, is well deserved indeed.


6. Ali, Fox, and Loco

Three of the most memorable characters from the third Friday installment, wouldn’t have deserved their fate had they just left shit alone. But turning the other tattooed cheek has no place in the Crystal Lake universe! They roughed up Shelly, which was kind of refreshing, but they crossed the line when trying to burn down the barn that could have resulted in seriously hurting innocent people. Eh, they had it coming.


5. Charles McCulloch

Jason taking out the trash in Manhattan indeed! Ok, Canada but let’s pretend that wasn’t a thing. The abusive, cold-hearted uncle of the sweet Rennie almost let his niece who he retains guardianship over, drown as a young child; resulting in a crippling anxiety of the water Rennie carried into her young adulthood. Jason planting Charles headfirst into what looks like a toxic waste barrel from a TMNT cartoon, seemed like a suitable ending for this piece of shit.


4. Dr. Crews

Crews, the physiatrist of telekinetic Tina Shepherd is a flat out first-rate asshole. It’s pretty easy to hate the guy, as similar to Jason Goes to Hell douche Robert Campbell, uses others to gain notoriety; and he’s not even slick about it. Crews lures Tina and her mother to Crystal Lake for some special therapy, but he’s only trying to exploit the poor, damaged girl. Plus, he gets Tina’s mother killed due to his recklessness. Can’t say I didn’t chuckle when he got mowed down with a hand-held motor saw.


3. Junkie Criminals

I really don’t think I need to make too much of an argument here on these two pieces of sexual assaulting, junkie pieces of shit. The pair of junkie alleyway thugs that abducted Rennie, stuck a needle in her, and attempting to have their way with her, deserved much more than a needle through their back and a face smash into a pipe. However, Jason, albeit unintentionally, saves the day again by ridding the world of serious trash.


2. Raver Rapist

As if his clothing choices weren’t reason enough to kill this little shit, the raving rapist pretty much ties places here with the junkie thugs from Manhattan. The only difference here is the cowardly approach sneaking up on a girl while she’s indisposed. Although poor Gibb suffered in the crossfire between Voorhees and the raver predator, we can only look at it as taking one for the team for the greater good of humanity.


1. Roy Burns

Picking up right where Jason left off, paramedic Roy Burns loses his shit when he sees his son has been murdered quite violently by one of the troubled kids at the group home cabin. He snaps, grabs a hockey mask, and poses as Voorhees killing off anyone connected to his son, no matter how minor. So yeah, not only did he deserve his fate because of his wild killing spree, but where exactly the fuck was he when his son needed him? Allowing this poor kid to jump from foster home to foster home, never having stability? All of a sudden this dude wants to give a shit? Pfft, what a terrible deadbeat dad.


As I leave you here with one of the greatest musical contributions to horror movie history by the fabulous Metropolis, let’s talk below about Jason taking on the heroic role in the Friday films by ridding the planet of complete wastes of oxygen. Who do you think was the worst of the worst?

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Editorials

The Mark of the Beast: The Lasting Impact of ‘The Omen’ at 50

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The Omen at 50

Of the three films that make up the Diabolical Trinity of classic religious horror films—Rosemary’s Baby (1968), The Exorcist (1973), and The Omen (1976)—The Omen is the most purely entertaining.

While Rosemary’s Baby digs into the societal shifts of the 60s and The Exorcist explores spiritual tensions between faith and doubt in an ever-shifting world, The Omen seems most interested in just telling a thrilling story. It achieves this by blending two major trends of the 1970s, the devil movie and the paranoid thriller, into one crackling adventure yarn. In the process, The Omen has sparked fear and curiosity about what could happen in theend timesif such events are to occur.

After seeing The Exorcist, producer Harvey Bernhard contacted writer David Seltzer and said something along the lines of,Hey, write me one of those.Seltzer, having never read the Bible, thought it would be an interesting challenge, so, according to various interviews, he read the Bible and several commentaries in search of a story. Then he stumbled upon a passage in the book of Revelation, the image of a great Beast rising out of the sea, that sparked his imagination. In the commentaries, he found that the sea represented politics in some interpretations of the text, and he began building his story on that foundation.

Seltzer has told this story often, and I am inclined to believe him. However, from there, much of the theological-sounding lore of The Omen was created purely by Seltzer. Many of the ideas surrounding The Antichrist in the film appear to be drawn much more from the pop-eschatology sensation of the 1970s, The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsay, than any Biblical source.

Lindsay’s book was the bestselling nonfiction book of the 1970s and re-popularized views of thelast daysthat had been dying along with fundamentalism for decades, namely Dispensationalism, Millennialism, and the Pre-Tribulation Rapture. In dispensationalism, history is broken into several epochs of time (or dispensations) that culminate in the return of Christ and his thousand-year (millennial) reign.

Before this return, a seven-year Tribulation will occur in which the Antichrist comes to power and persecutes all who oppose him, culminating in a battle between the forces of good and evil at the valley of Megiddo, usually called Armageddon. Of course, in this worldview, the true believers in Jesus will be lifted out, or raptured, before all this takes place. Since the publication and popularity of The Late Great Planet Earth, this has been the prominent belief in Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christian circles, though Roman Catholic, Orthodox, and mainline Protestant denominations largely reject it.

Lindsay also did something unique that had not been the case even in dispensationalist circles before him—he posited that the creation of the modern state of Israel in 1948 started the countdown to Armageddon. Fans of the film will immediately realize where Seltzer ran with this idea in the first line of the poem created for the movie:When the Jews return to Zion…

Damien Thorn and the Creation of Horror’s “Innocent Villain”

The Omen

Seltzer’s next inspiration focused on the idea of the Antichrist as a child, what he would call the film’sinnocent villain.In watching The Omen, it is readily apparent that Damien Thorn (Harvey Stephens) does not really do anything evil beyond a bit of normal kid mischief. Even the moment in which Damien knocks Kathy Thorn (Lee Remick) over a second-floor railing can be read as an accident orchestrated by Damien’s diabolically connected nanny, Mrs. Baylock (Billie Whitelaw). The film takes this idea of the innocent villain a step further by casting Gregory Peck, best known for playing arguably the greatest father in film history, Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird (1962), as Damien’s earthly father, an element that greatly satisfied Seltzer.

The New Testament itself says very little about the Antichrist and certainly nothing about his childhood. In fact, the word antichrist is used twice (1 John 2:18 and 2 John 7 for the curious) and refers to groups of people, not a particular person. There is also a passage in 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12 in which the writer (usually attributed to Paul) discussesThe Man of Lawlessnesswho willexalt himself over everything that is called Godandproclaim himself to be God.

Then there is the Beast of Revelation chapter 13 withseven heads and ten hornsthat Seltzer latched onto, which has been interpreted in a multitude of ways over the centuries. Powerful people throughout history, from Charlemagne, various Popes during the Protestant Reformation era, Napoleon and Hitler, to modern politicians, including Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama, and Donald Trump, have all had the label placed on them by various circles. Even religious leaders like Billy Graham have not escaped being called the Antichrist.

Lindsay and modern dispensationalists are certain the Antichrist will be a 21st-century individual as they are equally certain that the Rapture, Tribulation, and return of Christ are imminent, likely within their lifetime. Many scholars and theologians, however, interpret these passages as symbolic representations of the Roman Empire and the first-century Caesars who persecuted, tortured, and murdered Christians and Jews who refused to submit to Imperial rule and worship them as gods. For example, that the Beast from the sea in Revelation has seven heads is symbolic of the famous seven mountains of Rome, with the 10 horns referring to rulers and magistrates of the Empire.

But this is all really of no matter to Seltzer and the story of The Omen. Instead of being concerned with any historical or theological accuracy, he instead built his own lore, which sends Robert Thorn and photographer Keith Jennings (David Warner) on a globetrotting investigation into the nature of the Antichrist and how to stop him. Some of this lore includes the child being born of a jackal, the reaction of animals, the protective cult that arises around Damien, the daggers of Megiddo, and maybe most interesting of all, the peculiar flaws in Jennings’s photographs that presage the ways certain individuals will die.

All these aspects are where the paranoid thrillers come in, as films like Blow Up (1966), Z (1969), The Conversation (1974), The Parallax View (1974), 3 Days of the Condor (1975), and All the President’s Men (1976) were all the rage at the time. Especially in the wake of the Watergate scandal, the idea of journalists (like Jennings) as ordinary heroes who could bring down the powerful, nefarious forces in the world was exactly what audiences craved. And what greater hidden evil force was there than the Devil? This is also why the device of the daggers of Megiddo is so important to a movie like this. If Damien is indeed the Antichrist, there must be a way to stop him, though in the Biblical text, the only power capable of destroying the Devil is God Himself.

The Mark of the Beast, 666, and the Film’s Most Famous Religious Symbolism

The piece of lore created for the movie with the most solid Biblical grounding is the Mark of the Beast. Revelation describes a mark on the forehead or hand of those who worship the Beast and his image. Again, this is symbolic language differentiating those who belong to the power of the Roman Empire and those who belong to Christ, who have the Mark of the Lamb. In Seltzer’s hands, the mark is very literal, a birthmark that is borne by not only the Antichrist but all his followers, meaning they are marked from before birth as belonging to Satan, and there is no escaping it. This is all rather distressing to the priest Father Brennan (Patrick Troughton), who betrays his mark by warning Thorn about Damien and pays the price by memorably being impaled by a spire that falls from a church steeple after being struck by lightning.

Why is the mark three sixes? Again, this is drawn from a passage in Revelation that states that the Beast can be identified by calculating his number. In Biblical scholarship, this is believed to be the sum of the name of a man transferred into Hebrew numerology, a practice in which each Hebrew letter also represents a number. Using this method, the number of the name Caesar Nero, which many believe to be the most logical choice, is six hundred sixty-six. In the film and elsewhere, this number is changed to three individual sixes. According to the film, this represents the Diabolical Trinity (a designation also unique to the film) made up of Satan, the Antichrist, and the False Prophet. That Damien carries this unique birthmark under his hair convinces Robert that the child is the Antichrist, and it’s up to him to destroy him.

Part of what makes The Omen great is its ambiguity. Damien could be the Antichrist, or he could be at the center of a series of coincidences. Director Richard Donner stated in interviews that he believed Robert Thorn had gone insane by the end of the film, which, to Donner, is the only explanation for why Thorn would attempt to kill an innocent child. However, that enigmatic smile in the final shot suggests that Damien does embody a spirit of great evil. The sequels, however, all but erase this ambiguity.

In audiences, The Omen sparked a renewed interest in the concept of the Antichrist and the dispensationalist interpretation of the end times that continues to echo throughout the last five decades. Around the time of the film’s release, even Elvis Presley was photographed brandishing a paperback copy of Seltzer’s novelization. Dispensationalist authors like Hal Lindsay, Tim LaHaye, and John Hagee have made millions publishing books and giving lectures about the Antichrist and the end of the world.

The Legacy of The Omen, 50 Years Later

Though A Thief in the Night (1972) preceded The Omen in initial release, it gained quite a resurgence (along with the ability to create three sequels) in the wake of the popularity of The Omen and went on to scar the psyches of Evangelical children for decades. Hal Lindsay was also able to release a film version of The Late Great Planet Earth in 1978, complete with narration and a brief onscreen appearance from Orson Welles.

In the 1990s, the Left Behind series became a cultural phenomenon, spawning twelve books in the core series, a YA spinoff series, video games, and a movie series (2000-2005) starring Kirk Cameron. A bigger studio adaptation of the first book was released in 2014, starring Nicolas Cage. 20th Century Fox and The Omen got in on the renewedend-of-the-worldvigor by releasing a remake of the original film on June 6, 2006. The franchise was revived once again in 2024 with The First Omen, which explores ideas of the Antichrist and the motivations of those in power in our current religious, social, and political context.

But despite all the sequels, spinoffs, rip-offs, remakes, andend timesmoney grabs of the last 50 years, the original version of The Omen remains untouchable. Its greatest strength is that it seeks, first and foremost, to entertain. And it does so admirably.

After half a century, its influence can be felt in horror, the culture at large, and even in various faith circles. It is a testament to the power of story and film that, consciously or unconsciously, fans of The Omen and those who have never seen it alike are, to this very day, marked by the Beast.

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