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Thanks for Giving Us Nightmares: Eli Roth’s 6 Nastiest Movie Moments

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Pictured: 'The Green Inferno'

In honor of Thanksgiving now playing in theaters, I decided to take a look at the filmography of Eli Roth. After spending a few days watching films like Cabin Fever, Hostel and The Green Inferno, I cried in the shower for about twenty minutes and am vegan now!

In no particular order, here are the most gnarly moments of Roth’s fun career in horror…


“I’m Never Gonna Shave Again” – Cabin Fever (2002)

Without a doubt my favorite Eli Roth film and in my opinion one of the most underrated horror comedies of all time, Cabin Fever features tons of laughs and gross-out scares. One in particular that is hard to forget. Specifically, for those who shave their legs.

After Sweet Lou (the always memorable Joey Kern) decides to reasonably say “To hell with all of you since you WON’T STOP TOUCHING THE BLEEDING AND INFECTED PEOPLE” and storm off into the woods to be alone with more beer than he can drink before it gets warm, Marcy (Cerina Vincent) decides to get him back by revenge banging Paul (Rider Strong). A really, really bad idea considering the ease of which folks’ skin is flopping off of them like fake mustaches from a Dollar Tree. They get through the fornication safely and I’m guessing very quickly based on what we know about Paul. Marcy decides to do the second dumbest thing at that moment and run a warm bath to shave her legs. You just KNOW what’s coming next and the suspense will make everyone in the room start acting like they are in one of those slow-motion paper towel ads when a spill is about to reach the carpet. Bounty is not here to save you, Marcy. 

The flesh begins to rip off of her leg along with the razor. She doesn’t stop and continues to shave the entire side of her leg. Clearly, she’s a completist. I respect it. I also need therapy now.


“These Guilty Feet Have Got No Tendons” – Hostel (2005)

Hostel was such a fun movie to be alive for the marketing of. It had almost Blair Witch Project levels of hype (emphasis on almost). Horror fans congregated at shopping malls and in our fluorescent lit cubicles to discuss how this “might finally be the one to make me spew in the movie theater.” Not to be. But it wasn’t for a lack of trying.

In this scene, Josh (Derek Richardson) is covered in his own vomit and being tortured by a Dutch businessman (Jan Vlasak) who eats salad with his hands and likes to rub the legs of strange men on trains. His first order of business is to take a power drill and insert it into his skin. As he pulls it back out, it is grossly covered with Josh’s leg meat. After some more leg rubbing, Josh convincingly begs to be set loose. And that’s when things get REALLY nasty.

The man taunts him with the whole “Well, why didn’t you say so?” dick move and leans over and does something the camera doesn’t show. Then he cuts his restraints and opens the door for him. Josh stands up and takes one step forward before BAM! Roth decides to let us see what them feet do and we see that his Achilles has been sliced open. When he tries to step forward we get to watch his legs move but his feet stay on the ground, meaning we see his shit split open. It’s one of those things that makes you involuntarily scream strange words at the screen like “GOO!” while pointing. Josh tries to crawl away but the man stops him and slits his throat.


“Pour Some Blood on Me” – Hostel: Part II (2007)

Heather Matarazzo (Scream 3) just seems like the sweetest, most innocent person that has ever lived. So, it’s very upsetting to see her hung upside down completely naked and begging for her life while a lady uses a scythe to cut her body open from beneath her whilst bathing in her blood. Yes, I said scythe. Like the giant Children of the Corn sized one that Michael Myers uses in Halloween V. I’ve never been to a spa before but thanks to Eli Roth, I think I now have a negative relationship with them in my brain.

In all seriousness, I remember seeing this scene play out alone in the dollar theater and feeling actual anger. Like, the kind of mad people get on the internet when you say or do anything at all. Which means the scene and more specifically Heather Matarazzo did their job and did it well. Even the leadup is hateful and mean as this wack-a-doodle slowly scrapes the scythe across her skin for what seems like an eternity before breaking it. It’s the kind of scene you really want to take a shower after watching. THE REGULAR KIND! 


“All Will Be Carved” – Grindhouse (2007)

'Thanksgiving' 2023 - Eli Roth Finally Carving Up His 'Grindhouse' Spinoff!

This parody of old slashers was a part of a series of fake trailers used for Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse. If you figured out that it was the basis for Roth’s new Thanksgiving film then congratulations, Batman. The trailer is so undeniably unforgettable that fans demanded to see this perverted masterpiece become a real movie.

Roth managed to pack a full movie’s worth of slasher-dom into a couple of minutes of a trailer that features multiple beheadings, a cameo from Roth himself and actors from his previous movies such as Jordan Ladd from Cabin Fever and Jay Hernandez from Hostel. A turkey mascot is even beheaded at a parade in front of everyone. These are not the things that stand out however, oh no. Beheadings alone aren’t enough to make Eli Roth’s list of unholy what-the-fucks.

The two moments that take the cake are of the gnarliest order. In one scene, a cheerleader gets naked while jumping up and down on a trampoline and everyone is having a great time! That is until the Pilgrim slasher goes all MythBusters on us and sticks a very large knife facing upright through the bottom of the trampoline. Next, a turkey is unveiled to the family, only it’s a human being basted and roasted and tied in the position of a turkey. Complete with stuffed orifices and even a meat thermometer. Next to it a smaller, normal sized turkey with someone’s head on it.

It’s a turducken of depraved, hilarious and horrific proportions.


“Eye Didn’t See That Train Coming” – Hostel (2005)

Just as Paxton (Jay Hernandez) has almost escaped the Holiday Inn Torture Dungeon, he hears a woman screaming and doubles back to save her. There, he encounters a man (Rick Hoffman) who screams at him to “Get your own fuckin room! I paid for this!” as the camera reveals to us that he is taking a blowtorch to a woman’s (Jennifer Lim) face. Paxton shoots him down and helps free the woman and OH MY GOD did I mention her eyeball is dangling from her face?!? And not like a silly Friday the 13th Part 3D ping pong type eyeball. A gross, gooey, deflated bag type of eyeball (they used a condom for the effect). She understandably starts to lose her mind like she’s at a Taylor Swift concert and Paxton tries to help her by (for some reason) taking a pair of scissors and cutting the dangling eye bag off of her face. Whew. That’s better, right?

It’s so disgusting you’ll want to scrub your own eyeballs with dish soap, and it leaves the character in such bad shape that she walks into an oncoming train afterwards. Sounds about right.


“Where’s My Face Again?” – The Green Inferno (2013)

When Jonah (Aaron Burns) and his activist friends are captured in the Amazon by a tribe of cannibals, they have a civil discussion and everyone goes home to think about what they’ve learned from each other. But really though, they pin him to a rock and eat him in front of his friends.

This scene utilizes a strange blurring effect that weirdly makes it even scarier as if even the movie is saying “this is too much for you.” But don’t worry, like articles about Will Smith and Jada’s marriage, you’ll see more than you ever wanted to! This absolutely frightening lady with wooden beads running throughout her facial orifices puts some sort of wooden tool up against his eye sockets and starts digging around in there. I mean, she gets in there. By the end of it, his face is squished to Hell and she’s eating his eyeballs as the crowd cheers her on. She then saws his tongue off and enjoys that so much her eyes start rolling around in the back of her head. This lady really loves eyeballs. Right about then some dudes pop over and start using gigantic weapons to hack away at Jonah’s limbs like he was a big moist man-cake before finally sawing his head off.


What horrors will Roth unleash next? Thanksgiving is now playing in theaters!

Editorials

What’s Wrong with My Baby!? Larry Cohen’s ‘It’s Alive’ at 50

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Netflix It's Alive

Soon after the New Hollywood generation took over the entertainment industry, they started having children. And more than any filmmakers that came before—they were terrified. Rosemary’s Baby (1968), The Exorcist (1973), The Omen (1976), Eraserhead (1977), The Brood (1979), The Shining (1980), Possession (1981), and many others all deal, at least in part, with the fears of becoming or being a parent. What if my child turns out to be a monster? is corrupted by some evil force? or turns out to be the fucking Antichrist? What if I screw them up somehow, or can’t help them, or even go insane and try to kill them? Horror has always been at its best when exploring relatable fears through extreme circumstances. A prime example of this is Larry Cohen’s 1974 monster-baby movie It’s Alive, which explores the not only the rollercoaster of emotions that any parent experiences when confronted with the difficulties of raising a child, but long-standing questions of who or what is at fault when something goes horribly wrong.

Cohen begins making his underlying points early in the film as Frank Davis (John P. Ryan) discusses the state of the world with a group of expectant fathers in a hospital waiting room. They discuss the “overabundance of lead” in foods and the environment, smog, and pesticides that only serve to produce roaches that are “bigger, stronger, and harder to kill.” Frank comments that this is “quite a world to bring a kid into.” This has long been a discussion point among people when trying to decide whether to have kids or not. I’ve had many conversations with friends who have said they feel it’s irresponsible to bring children into such a violent, broken, and dangerous world, and I certainly don’t begrudge them this. My wife and I did decide to have children but that doesn’t mean that it’s been easy.

Immediately following this scene comes It’s Alive’s most famous sequence in which Frank’s wife Lenore (Sharon Farrell) is the only person left alive in her delivery room, the doctors clawed and bitten to death by her mutant baby, which has escaped. “What does my baby look like!? What’s wrong with my baby!?” she screams as nurses wheel her frantically into a recovery room. The evening that had begun with such joy and excitement at the birth of their second child turned into a nightmare. This is tough for me to write, but on some level, I can relate to this whiplash of emotion. When my second child was born, they came about five weeks early. I’ll use the pronouns “they/them” for privacy reasons when referring to my kids. Our oldest was still very young and went to stay with my parents and we sped off to the hospital where my wife was taken into an operating room for an emergency c-section. I was able to carry our newborn into the NICU (natal intensive care unit) where I was assured that this was routine for all premature births. The nurses assured me there was nothing to worry about and the baby looked big and healthy. I headed to where my wife was taken to recover to grab a few winks assuming that everything was fine. Well, when I awoke, I headed back over to the NICU to find that my child was not where I left them. The nurse found me and told me that the baby’s lungs were underdeveloped, and they had to put them in a special room connected to oxygen tubes and wires to monitor their vitals.

It’s difficult to express the fear that overwhelmed me in those moments. Everything turned out okay, but it took a while and I’m convinced to this day that their anxiety struggles spring from these first weeks of life. As our children grew, we learned that two of the three were on the spectrum and that anxiety, depression, ADHD, and OCD were also playing a part in their lives. Parents, at least speaking for myself, can’t help but blame themselves for the struggles their children face. The “if only” questions creep in and easily overcome the voices that assure us that it really has nothing to do with us. In the film, Lenore says, “maybe it’s all the pills I’ve been taking that brought this on.” Frank muses aloud about how he used to think that Frankenstein was the monster, but when he got older realized he was the one that made the monster. The aptly named Frank is wondering if his baby’s mutation is his fault, if he created the monster that is terrorizing Los Angeles. I have made plenty of “if only” statements about myself over the years. “If only I hadn’t had to work so much, if only I had been around more when they were little.” Mothers may ask themselves, “did I have a drink, too much coffee, or a cigarette before I knew I was pregnant? Was I too stressed out during the pregnancy?” In other words, most parents can’t help but wonder if it’s all their fault.

At one point in the film, Frank goes to the elementary school where his baby has been sighted and is escorted through the halls by police. He overhears someone comment about “screwed up genes,” which brings about age-old questions of nature vs. nurture. Despite the voices around him from doctors and detectives that say, “we know this isn’t your fault,” Frank can’t help but think it is, and that the people who try to tell him it isn’t really think it’s his fault too. There is no doubt that there is a hereditary element to the kinds of mental illness struggles that my children and I deal with. But, and it’s a bit but, good parenting goes a long way in helping children deal with these struggles. Kids need to know they’re not alone, a good parent can provide that, perhaps especially parents that can relate to the same kinds of struggles. The question of nature vs. nurture will likely never be entirely answered but I think there’s more than a good chance that “both/and” is the case. Around the midpoint of the film, Frank agrees to disown the child and sign it over for medical experimentation if caught or killed. Lenore and the older son Chris (Daniel Holzman) seek to nurture and teach the baby, feeling that it is not a monster, but a member of the family.

It’s Alive takes these ideas to an even greater degree in the fact that the Davis Baby really is a monster, a mutant with claws and fangs that murders and eats people. The late ’60s and early ’70s also saw the rise in mass murderers and serial killers which heightened the nature vs. nurture debate. Obviously, these people were not literal monsters but human beings that came from human parents, but something had gone horribly wrong. Often the upbringing of these killers clearly led in part to their antisocial behavior, but this isn’t always the case. It’s Alive asks “what if a ‘monster’ comes from a good home?” In this case is it society, environmental factors, or is it the lead, smog, and pesticides? It is almost impossible to know, but the ending of the film underscores an uncomfortable truth—even monsters have parents.

As the film enters its third act, Frank joins the hunt for his child through the Los Angeles sewers and into the L.A. River. He is armed with a rifle and ready to kill on sight, having divorced himself from any relationship to the child. Then Frank finds his baby crying in the sewers and his fatherly instincts take over. With tears in his eyes, he speaks words of comfort and wraps his son in his coat. He holds him close, pats and rocks him, and whispers that everything is going to be okay. People often wonder how the parents of those who perform heinous acts can sit in court, shed tears, and defend them. I think it’s a complex issue. I’m sure that these parents know that their child has done something evil, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are still their baby. Your child is a piece of yourself formed into a whole new human being. Disowning them would be like cutting off a limb, no matter what they may have done. It doesn’t erase an evil act, far from it, but I can understand the pain of a parent in that situation. I think It’s Alive does an exceptional job placing its audience in that situation.

Despite the serious issues and ideas being examined in the film, It’s Alive is far from a dour affair. At heart, it is still a monster movie and filled with a sense of fun and a great deal of pitch-black humor. In one of its more memorable moments, a milkman is sucked into the rear compartment of his truck as red blood mingles with the white milk from smashed bottles leaking out the back of the truck and streaming down the street. Just after Frank agrees to join the hunt for his baby, the film cuts to the back of an ice cream truck with the words “STOP CHILDREN” emblazoned on it. It’s a movie filled with great kills, a mutant baby—created by make-up effects master Rick Baker early in his career, and plenty of action—and all in a PG rated movie! I’m telling you, the ’70s were wild. It just also happens to have some thoughtful ideas behind it as well.

Which was Larry Cohen’s specialty. Cohen made all kinds of movies, but his most enduring have been his horror films and all of them tackle the social issues and fears of the time they were made. God Told Me To (1976), Q: The Winged Serpent (1982), and The Stuff (1985) are all great examples of his socially aware, low-budget, exploitation filmmaking with a brain and It’s Alive certainly fits right in with that group. Cohen would go on to write and direct two sequels, It Lives Again (aka It’s Alive 2) in 1978 and It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive in 1987 and is credited as a co-writer on the 2008 remake. All these films explore the ideas of parental responsibility in light of the various concerns of the times they were made including abortion rights and AIDS.

Fifty years after It’s Alive was initially released, it has only become more relevant in the ensuing years. Fears surrounding parenthood have been with us since the beginning of time but as the years pass the reasons for these fears only seem to become more and more profound. In today’s world the conversation of the fathers in the waiting room could be expanded to hormones and genetic modifications in food, terrorism, climate change, school and other mass shootings, and other threats that were unknown or at least less of a concern fifty years ago. Perhaps the fearmongering conspiracy theories about chemtrails and vaccines would be mentioned as well, though in a more satirical fashion, as fears some expectant parents encounter while endlessly doomscrolling Facebook or Twitter. Speaking for myself, despite the struggles, the fears, and the sadness that sometimes comes with having children, it’s been worth it. The joys ultimately outweigh all of that, but I understand the terror too. Becoming a parent is no easy choice, nor should it be. But as I look back, I can say that I’m glad we made the choice we did.

I wonder if Frank and Lenore can say the same thing.

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