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“I Don’t Wanna Die in Canada!” – Celebrating the Absurdity of ‘Tusk’ 10 Years Later

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From man-eating beds to serial-killing gingerbread cookies, there’s no shortage of absurd premises in the horror genre. However, not all of these weird movies are created equal, and I’d argue that a silly premise is only half the battle when crafting a legitimately entertaining piece of absurdist genre cinema. Personally, I think that the very best of these strange projects succeed because they take an utterly ridiculous concept and play it completely straight, often revealing unexpected terrors as filmmakers show us worlds where tumors can go homicidal and mad scientists can stitch people into human centipedes.

One of my favorite examples of this kind of cinematic absurdity done right is Kevin Smith’s controversial horror-comedy Tusk, a divisive feature that’s almost equally loved and hated by the horror community. And with the flick currently celebrating its 10th anniversary, I thought that this might be a great time to look back on the only film that dares to question if man is truly a walrus at heart.

Appropriately enough, the idea for Tusk originally came about on Kevin Smith’s SModcast back in 2013, with the director and his friend Scott Mosier finding out about a supposedly real ad where a landlord would set up a lodger for free if he agreed to dress up as a walrus. Naturally, Smith and Mosier proceeded to make up a humorous backstory for this bizarre agreement, and while the ad was later revealed to have been a hoax orchestrated by writer and prankster Chris Parkinson, this memorable episode of the podcast ended up becoming the basis for Smith’s next film.

Still waiting on approval for Clerks III (which would ultimately only come out in 2022), Smith developed the idea into a proper screenplay and began to shop the project around as another opportunity to “showcase Michael Parks in a fucked-up story” after their collaboration in Red State. The cast would eventually grow to include genre veteran Justin Long and even Johnny Depp as the French-Canadian detective Guy LaPointe (though Smith had originally envisioned the role for none other than Quentin Tarantino after seeing his brief performance in Django Unchained).

“So if you wish to continue living, you will be a walrus, or you’ll be nothing at all.”

In the finished film, which somehow ended up being distributed by A24, Justin Long plays jaded podcaster Wallace Bryton as he embarks on a trip to Canada and gets kidnapped by the mysterious seaman Howard Howe (Michael Parks). When Howard reveals that he plans to transform Wallace into a freakish recreation of a walrus, it’s up to Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) and Ally (Genesis Rodriguez) – as well as the French-Canadian inspector Guy LaPoint (Johnny Depp) – to track him down before it’s too late.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of reviewers didn’t really get the movie when it first came out, with the flick being accused of being both too disturbing and too silly by different outlets. Some critics even went so far as to call Tusk one of the worst films of all time, something that I find baffling when one of the funniest parts of the experience is the fact that it’s often too well made when compared to its ridiculous origins. That being said, even the harshest critics had to concede that the film’s casting was impeccable.

While Justin Long is always a joy to watch in horrific situations and Johnny Depp’s near-offensive portrayal of a bumbling French-Canadian is impossible to look away from (though I can only imagine what Tarantino would have done with the role), I think it’s pretty well established that Michael Parks is the real stand-out of this talented ensemble.

The late, great character actor’s unhinged take on Howard is so iconic that it feels like the film only exists as an excuse to allow the veteran thespian a chance to completely let loose. Smith has even gone on record claiming that watching Parks and Depp ham it out onscreen together was akin to witnessing two wizards battling with ancient magic, and it’s precisely this disproportionate level of dedication that I think makes the film so damn hilarious.

“I’m so very tired Mr. Tusk, battered by a life of cruel fate and poor decisions and the terrible consequences of both.”

Much like the very best classic comedies, the characters here are unaware that these situations are supposed to be funny, with Tusk taking itself extremely seriously as Justin Long’s humanity is forcibly stripped from him in increasingly insane manners. The difference here is that the horror elements are so well executed that you’ll often forget that you were laughing only a couple of minutes ago.

I mean, the concept alone is terrifying enough if you dare to take it seriously and contemplate the body horror of an irreversible transformation at the hands of a madman. The scene where Parks sharpens a tusk while speaking to a wheelchair-bound Justin Long only to imply that the bone is in fact his tibia is truly the stuff of nightmares – which only makes the film’s bizarrely mean-spirited depiction of Canada that much funnier (something that I actually appreciate even more having grown up in Ontario).

Tusk may not be a perfect film, suffering from a slightly bloated runtime and some uneven jokes, but if Smith’s goal was to create a unique cinematic experience that both shocks and entertains in equal measure, I think he really hit the ball out of the park here. Your enjoyment of the flick will likely depend on how accepting you are of the director’s particular brand of humor, but this is a deeply weird story that only gets better with age.

So whether you’re in the mood for some extreme body horror or just want to enjoy Michael Parks chewing up the scenery like it’s made of homemade poutine, this bizarre little thriller is still worth revisiting a decade later.

Born Brazilian, raised Canadian, Luiz is a writer and Film student that spends most of his time watching movies and subsequently complaining about them.

Editorials

What’s Wrong with My Baby!? Larry Cohen’s ‘It’s Alive’ at 50

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Netflix It's Alive

Soon after the New Hollywood generation took over the entertainment industry, they started having children. And more than any filmmakers that came before—they were terrified. Rosemary’s Baby (1968), The Exorcist (1973), The Omen (1976), Eraserhead (1977), The Brood (1979), The Shining (1980), Possession (1981), and many others all deal, at least in part, with the fears of becoming or being a parent. What if my child turns out to be a monster? is corrupted by some evil force? or turns out to be the fucking Antichrist? What if I screw them up somehow, or can’t help them, or even go insane and try to kill them? Horror has always been at its best when exploring relatable fears through extreme circumstances. A prime example of this is Larry Cohen’s 1974 monster-baby movie It’s Alive, which explores the not only the rollercoaster of emotions that any parent experiences when confronted with the difficulties of raising a child, but long-standing questions of who or what is at fault when something goes horribly wrong.

Cohen begins making his underlying points early in the film as Frank Davis (John P. Ryan) discusses the state of the world with a group of expectant fathers in a hospital waiting room. They discuss the “overabundance of lead” in foods and the environment, smog, and pesticides that only serve to produce roaches that are “bigger, stronger, and harder to kill.” Frank comments that this is “quite a world to bring a kid into.” This has long been a discussion point among people when trying to decide whether to have kids or not. I’ve had many conversations with friends who have said they feel it’s irresponsible to bring children into such a violent, broken, and dangerous world, and I certainly don’t begrudge them this. My wife and I did decide to have children but that doesn’t mean that it’s been easy.

Immediately following this scene comes It’s Alive’s most famous sequence in which Frank’s wife Lenore (Sharon Farrell) is the only person left alive in her delivery room, the doctors clawed and bitten to death by her mutant baby, which has escaped. “What does my baby look like!? What’s wrong with my baby!?” she screams as nurses wheel her frantically into a recovery room. The evening that had begun with such joy and excitement at the birth of their second child turned into a nightmare. This is tough for me to write, but on some level, I can relate to this whiplash of emotion. When my second child was born, they came about five weeks early. I’ll use the pronouns “they/them” for privacy reasons when referring to my kids. Our oldest was still very young and went to stay with my parents and we sped off to the hospital where my wife was taken into an operating room for an emergency c-section. I was able to carry our newborn into the NICU (natal intensive care unit) where I was assured that this was routine for all premature births. The nurses assured me there was nothing to worry about and the baby looked big and healthy. I headed to where my wife was taken to recover to grab a few winks assuming that everything was fine. Well, when I awoke, I headed back over to the NICU to find that my child was not where I left them. The nurse found me and told me that the baby’s lungs were underdeveloped, and they had to put them in a special room connected to oxygen tubes and wires to monitor their vitals.

It’s difficult to express the fear that overwhelmed me in those moments. Everything turned out okay, but it took a while and I’m convinced to this day that their anxiety struggles spring from these first weeks of life. As our children grew, we learned that two of the three were on the spectrum and that anxiety, depression, ADHD, and OCD were also playing a part in their lives. Parents, at least speaking for myself, can’t help but blame themselves for the struggles their children face. The “if only” questions creep in and easily overcome the voices that assure us that it really has nothing to do with us. In the film, Lenore says, “maybe it’s all the pills I’ve been taking that brought this on.” Frank muses aloud about how he used to think that Frankenstein was the monster, but when he got older realized he was the one that made the monster. The aptly named Frank is wondering if his baby’s mutation is his fault, if he created the monster that is terrorizing Los Angeles. I have made plenty of “if only” statements about myself over the years. “If only I hadn’t had to work so much, if only I had been around more when they were little.” Mothers may ask themselves, “did I have a drink, too much coffee, or a cigarette before I knew I was pregnant? Was I too stressed out during the pregnancy?” In other words, most parents can’t help but wonder if it’s all their fault.

At one point in the film, Frank goes to the elementary school where his baby has been sighted and is escorted through the halls by police. He overhears someone comment about “screwed up genes,” which brings about age-old questions of nature vs. nurture. Despite the voices around him from doctors and detectives that say, “we know this isn’t your fault,” Frank can’t help but think it is, and that the people who try to tell him it isn’t really think it’s his fault too. There is no doubt that there is a hereditary element to the kinds of mental illness struggles that my children and I deal with. But, and it’s a bit but, good parenting goes a long way in helping children deal with these struggles. Kids need to know they’re not alone, a good parent can provide that, perhaps especially parents that can relate to the same kinds of struggles. The question of nature vs. nurture will likely never be entirely answered but I think there’s more than a good chance that “both/and” is the case. Around the midpoint of the film, Frank agrees to disown the child and sign it over for medical experimentation if caught or killed. Lenore and the older son Chris (Daniel Holzman) seek to nurture and teach the baby, feeling that it is not a monster, but a member of the family.

It’s Alive takes these ideas to an even greater degree in the fact that the Davis Baby really is a monster, a mutant with claws and fangs that murders and eats people. The late ’60s and early ’70s also saw the rise in mass murderers and serial killers which heightened the nature vs. nurture debate. Obviously, these people were not literal monsters but human beings that came from human parents, but something had gone horribly wrong. Often the upbringing of these killers clearly led in part to their antisocial behavior, but this isn’t always the case. It’s Alive asks “what if a ‘monster’ comes from a good home?” In this case is it society, environmental factors, or is it the lead, smog, and pesticides? It is almost impossible to know, but the ending of the film underscores an uncomfortable truth—even monsters have parents.

As the film enters its third act, Frank joins the hunt for his child through the Los Angeles sewers and into the L.A. River. He is armed with a rifle and ready to kill on sight, having divorced himself from any relationship to the child. Then Frank finds his baby crying in the sewers and his fatherly instincts take over. With tears in his eyes, he speaks words of comfort and wraps his son in his coat. He holds him close, pats and rocks him, and whispers that everything is going to be okay. People often wonder how the parents of those who perform heinous acts can sit in court, shed tears, and defend them. I think it’s a complex issue. I’m sure that these parents know that their child has done something evil, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are still their baby. Your child is a piece of yourself formed into a whole new human being. Disowning them would be like cutting off a limb, no matter what they may have done. It doesn’t erase an evil act, far from it, but I can understand the pain of a parent in that situation. I think It’s Alive does an exceptional job placing its audience in that situation.

Despite the serious issues and ideas being examined in the film, It’s Alive is far from a dour affair. At heart, it is still a monster movie and filled with a sense of fun and a great deal of pitch-black humor. In one of its more memorable moments, a milkman is sucked into the rear compartment of his truck as red blood mingles with the white milk from smashed bottles leaking out the back of the truck and streaming down the street. Just after Frank agrees to join the hunt for his baby, the film cuts to the back of an ice cream truck with the words “STOP CHILDREN” emblazoned on it. It’s a movie filled with great kills, a mutant baby—created by make-up effects master Rick Baker early in his career, and plenty of action—and all in a PG rated movie! I’m telling you, the ’70s were wild. It just also happens to have some thoughtful ideas behind it as well.

Which was Larry Cohen’s specialty. Cohen made all kinds of movies, but his most enduring have been his horror films and all of them tackle the social issues and fears of the time they were made. God Told Me To (1976), Q: The Winged Serpent (1982), and The Stuff (1985) are all great examples of his socially aware, low-budget, exploitation filmmaking with a brain and It’s Alive certainly fits right in with that group. Cohen would go on to write and direct two sequels, It Lives Again (aka It’s Alive 2) in 1978 and It’s Alive III: Island of the Alive in 1987 and is credited as a co-writer on the 2008 remake. All these films explore the ideas of parental responsibility in light of the various concerns of the times they were made including abortion rights and AIDS.

Fifty years after It’s Alive was initially released, it has only become more relevant in the ensuing years. Fears surrounding parenthood have been with us since the beginning of time but as the years pass the reasons for these fears only seem to become more and more profound. In today’s world the conversation of the fathers in the waiting room could be expanded to hormones and genetic modifications in food, terrorism, climate change, school and other mass shootings, and other threats that were unknown or at least less of a concern fifty years ago. Perhaps the fearmongering conspiracy theories about chemtrails and vaccines would be mentioned as well, though in a more satirical fashion, as fears some expectant parents encounter while endlessly doomscrolling Facebook or Twitter. Speaking for myself, despite the struggles, the fears, and the sadness that sometimes comes with having children, it’s been worth it. The joys ultimately outweigh all of that, but I understand the terror too. Becoming a parent is no easy choice, nor should it be. But as I look back, I can say that I’m glad we made the choice we did.

I wonder if Frank and Lenore can say the same thing.

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