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Escape The Fate’s Robert Ortiz Shares His Favorite Things About Halloween

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Yesterday we brought you the favorite things about Halloween from Escape the Fate rhythm guitarist TJ Bell. Today we’re continuing to hear from the band, this time from drummer Robert Ortiz, who is all about the candy! However, much like myself, Ortiz isn’t too into the costume aspect, although he could rock the look of a certain Guns n Roses member. Check out his entry below!

Make sure to pre-order your copy of Hate Me via Districtlines.

Robert Ortiz on Halloween:

What I love most about Halloween is candy. Bottom line. Free. Candy. What’s there not to like about that? But I hate when they give you stuff that isn’t chocolate. I mean if Kit Kat’s and Snickers exist, why are you giving me Jolly Ranchers and fuckin candy corn or some kind of sour bullshit? I mean it’s free, I shouldn’t complain, so I figured out a plan. I trade my nephew for his good chocolates. I give like 10 whack-ass non-chocolate items for two or three chocolates ones of his. Everyone wins.

I don’t like dressing up. I know that’s the point and all… but I’ve never really been stoked to do it. I never really get exited to be something or someone else. Even though I look like Slash, my look is derived from tons of different inspirations and comes out as me, which coincidentally looks a lot like Slash… Outside of that, I’m not into costumes and that whole thing, but its the price to pay for candy. So therefore I have to wear a costume. My first costume in life, ironically enough, was Axl Rose. 

Escape the Fate online:
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Tour dates:
10/13 – Anaheim, CA @ Chain Reaction
10/14 – San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge
10/15 – Chico, CA @ Senator Theatre
10/16 – Sacramento, CA @ Boardwalk
10/17 – Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre
10/18 – Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven
10/19 – Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory
10/21 – Salt Lake City, UT @ In The Venue
10/22 – Denver, CO @ Marquis Theater
10/23 – Kansas City, KS @ Aftershock
10/24 – Minneapolis, MN @ Mill City Nights
10/25 – Chicago, IL @ Bottom Lounge
10/26 – Pontiac, MI @ The Crofoot
10/29 – Cleveland, OH @ Agora Ballroom
10/30 – New York, NY @ Marlin Bar at Webster Hall
10/31 – Poughkeepsie, NY @ The Chance
11/01 – Allentown, PA @ Crocodile Rock Café
11/02 – Greensboro, NC @ Greene Street
11/03 – Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
11/05 – Oklahoma City, OK @ 89th Street Collective
11/06 – Houston, TX @ Walters
11/07 – Dallas, TX @ Gas Monkey Bar & Grill
11/08 – Austin, TX @ Dirty Dog
11/09 – San Antonio, TX @ Korova
11/10 – El Paso, TX @ Mesa Music Hall
11/11 – Phoenix, AZ @ Joes Grotto
11/12 – Las Vegas, NV @ Vinyl at Hard Rock Hotel
11/13 – Santa Crus, CA @ The Catalyst
11/14 – Hollywood, CA @ The Whisky
11/15 – San Digeo, CA @ SOMA
01/28 – Manchester, UK @ Club Academy
01/29 – Glasgow, UK @ Cathouse
01/30 – Nottingham, UK @ Rescue Rooms
01/31 – Paris, FR @ Le Divan Du Monde
02/02 – Wiesbaden, DE @ Schlachthof
02/04 – Munich, DE @ Strom
02/05 – Milan, IT @ Legend Club
02/06 – Pordenone, IT @ Deposito
02/08 – Vienna, AT @ Szene
02/09 – Prague, CZ @ Rock Café
02/10 – Berlin, DE @ Bi Nuu
02/11 – Hamburg, DE @ Logo
02/12 – Amsterdam, NL @ Melkweg Oz
02/13 – Koln, DE @ Underground
02/14 – Belgium, NL @ Mod Box
02/16 – London, UK @ Electric Ballroom
02/18 – Moscow, RU @ Red Club
02/19 – St Petersburg, RU @ Cosmonavt Club

escapethefatehatemecover

Managing editor/music guy/social media fella of Bloody-Disgusting

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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