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Ask Beefcake: Advice For Forlorn Lovers Volume 4

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Alright Bloody-Disgusting readers, check it out. It’s been a while since GWAR bassist Beefcake The Mighty has been able to grace us with his knowledge and answer your questions regarding love and relationships. What’s that? You want to know why? You dare ask? He’s been to busy raping the penguins outside of the GWAR Antarctic home base, that’s why! The man can’t be disturbed when his schlong is wreaking havoc amongst the indigenous population. I tried it once. I barely escaped with my life, not to mention the cherished virginity of my eye socket (who does that???). But now the love guru is back to answer your questions!

askbeefcake
Photo Courtesy: Adam Dodd

1) Hey Beefcake, I’m an 18 year old girl that is about to go to senior prom with my boyfriend of four years. We’ve never gone all the way, but I’m thinking that prom night will be the night! How can I make sure that it’s special and something I’ll remember and cherish for the rest of my life?
 
Ahh, yes! Young love, your first time, and all that bullshit! The point where you go from a sweet and  innocent young lady with her whole life ahead of her, to a shameless filthy slut overnight! The time when a sweet caring boyfriend changes into a bragging retard, high fiving his buddies and snickering along with them at the story of how he took your virginity and never called you again! Oh, the fumbling, awkward poking and prodding. The premature ejaculation. The unwanted teen pregnancy. Yes, it is a wonderful time! There are many ways to make this Hallmark moment last forever. Here are just a few suggestions. 
 
1) Get really really drunk and throw up all over your boyfriend before he reaches climax. This will assure you a place in history as the dumb drunken slut who threw up on her boyfriend while getting plowed in the boys room stall.
2) Let him take pictures. He’ll surely post them on the internet and ruin your life!
3) Get pregnant.
4) Find out the hard way that you’re not his first, and get a raging case of herpes!
5) Whatever you do, let him bang you. Otherwise, he won’t love you and you’ll die alone, fat, and ugly.
 
2) Yo Beefcake, I’m in a sticky situation. I’m seeing two girls at once that don’t know about each other and they’re starting to figure shit out. What should I do?
 
That’s easy! Introduce them to each other, drop some pills into their drinks, and when they get really horny, have an epic 3-way with them. They’ll totally be into it and you’ll be the coolest kid at the mall! This is a no lose situation! Chicks love it when you cheat on them and can’t wait to reward you with a Penthouse Forum fantasy 3-way with lots of girl on girl action! Hats off to you, Stud!
I want to try something new this time. If you want to submit a question, but are ashamed, leave a comment saying so and I’ll open up a dedicated email account to receive questions where they will be sent anonymously. If you have no shame, post your question below!

Managing editor/music guy/social media fella of Bloody-Disgusting

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GUNSHIP Debuts ‘Time After Time’ Music Video Featuring Unseen ‘Whistle’ Footage

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Whistle Gunship video "Time After Time"

Synthwave outfit GUNSHIP has released a new official music video this morning for their cover of Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” featured on the soundtrack to Corin Hardy’s (The Nun, The Hallow) supernatural horror film Whistle.

To bring it full circle, Corin Hardy directs the music video himself, incorporating previously unseen footage from Whistle. More specifically, the new music video features an extended sequence from the film.

This collaboration builds on GUNSHIP’s longstanding relationship with Hardy, who previously contributed vocals to the band’s track “Cthulhu.”

“Working with Corin is a total dream,” said GUNSHIP. “He’s an old friend who we bonded with over our love for cinema and music, and we were honored to have our song featured in the film. After the Whistle premiere, we were chatting over a pint, and he told us about a beautiful pseudo ‘one shot’ sequence he was heartbroken to lose in the final film. We suggested resurrecting it and using it as a music video. Corin got it immediately, and the result is perfect. It’s heartbreaking, haunting and pure 80s noir soaked.”

Corin Hardy added: “I wanted Whistle to feel like a horror movie I might have watched around the late 1980s, alongside films like A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Lost Boys, and The Breakfast Club. Films steeped in teen-angst and heightened feelings. Music was such a huge part of creating the romance of those cinematic worlds. Gunship’s synth-drenched cover of Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Time After Time’ was always top of my list. Their unique heart-on-your-sleeve sound was the perfect choice for a key moment in the movie. To come together post-release and create this extended music video is simply the cherry on top. Dan, Al & Al (Gunship) have provided the film a real companion piece in the world of Whistle… it makes me want my MTV again!”

It’s a fitting collaboration, as music serves a narrative purpose in Whistle. Music, the director told Bloody Disgusting, was a means of immersing viewers in this world and its characters’ perspectives. Hardy even touched on this particular track: “So in a way, the music you’ll listen to is effectively what Chrys is listening to, which is her dad’s record collection. Then there are other songs like the Gunship track, which is a Cyndi Lauper cover, which is more like Rel’s [Sky Yang] music. It comes in when we have a sequence in Rel’s romantic heartbreak moment. So yeah, I made a character list of who might be listening to what.”

Whistle sees a misfit group of unwitting high school students confronted with mortality when they blow a cursed Aztec Death Whistle, setting a terrifying chain of events in motion.

Dafne Keen (Logan, The Acolyte“), Sophie Nélisse (“Yellowjackets”), Sky Yang (Rebel Moon), Jhaleil Swaby (“Supergirl”), Ali Skovbye (Grizzly Night, “Firefly Lane”), Percy Hynes White (“Wednesday”), Michelle Fairley (“Game of Thrones”), and Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead).

The supernatural teen horror movie is available to stream on Shudder now.

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