[TV Recap] "American Horror Story: Coven": Axeman Cometh! - Bloody Disgusting
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[TV Recap] “American Horror Story: Coven”: Axeman Cometh!



New Orleans- 1919

They have never caught me and they never will…

So begins the story of the Axeman. We have been introduced to an array of characters in the “Coven” installment, however this is the first time we are actually introduced to a male serial killer. One that has self proclaimed that he is not a human being, but a spirit. A demon.”

He sounds like quite the charmer.

The latest “American Horror Story” episode of “Coven” Has evolved into yet another brilliant storyline full of twists and plot evolution that leaves us panting at the end of the witching hour. The writing and character development is nothing short of amazing and the introduction of Axeman as Fiona’s potential lover leaves us in suspicion as to how this new character is going to play into the witches lives.

Let’s drive right in shall we?

A group of girls read a story that the Axeman has apparently published in the local newspaper. He is going to kill again. These girls are livid. The leader of the group wants to ax the axeman and feels that it is their due right to off this murderer since they are all descendents of Salem. Some of the girls are apprehensive, but in the end they all decide that Axman has got to go.

Axeman loves his jazz music and is subsequently lured into these crazy ladies home with some classical music.

He walks up to a plantation home of none other than present day Miss Robicheaux’s and music is wafting from upstairs. He finds the ring leader of the witches conducting a séance and Axey walks in holding his coveted weapon of choice. It’s her fault he tells her in that seductive voice, and it was because of her that he was there; she is the one who called upon him. She turns over a Tarot card. Death.


The witches come out hooded and ready for war with this man and they each take turns stabbing at him like maniacs. Personally, I think this is what Cordelia should do to that no good Hank when she finds out he is an adulterer and a murderer. Even I want to do this to Hank.

Present day, Zoe is snooping around trying to find out what happened to Madison [she is dead, but still in the house because Sick Spalding is keeping her as a pet] and is attracted to a spirit board. That is an Ouija board for the layman. Zoe brings a good point to Queenie and Nan that witches are decreasing in numbers according to some photos she found. One of the photos she finds has all the lovely banshees that killed the Axeman.

After taking a celebratory shot out of a bottle found in Madison’s room, Zoe declares that they need to drink of the divine and subsequently to Madison. The spirit board is then brought out to do some good old’ witch researching. They ask the board various questions in an attempt to get some questions regarding Madison’s whereabouts and instead they find the lady killer himself. Queenie abruptly attacks the board and ends the little session with Axeman. Queenie is hell bent against it on using this evil board and releasing Axeman’s spirit in return for some info on Mads. I personally think that no good will ever come from tampering with the dead through the Quija- and yes this based on a personal experience.

But Zoe will hear no more and promises him [via Quija] that if he helps them find Madison, she will release him. Nothing good will come from this as well.

Why does this girl think Axeman would have any idea as to where Madison is? Unless she is dead? Ah, here we go!

He helps her and she goes to the creepy room with the dolls that the Spalding is holding hostage. Remember that scene where he was wearing the little lace dress with the bonnet? Yea, I cannot seem to get that out of my mind either. Immediately upon opening the door she smells a strong stench and can barely contain herself. Following the scent she opens up a chest, and lo behold there is her decaying friend Madison. In true horror fashion, Spalding grabs her from behind. Of all the crazy shit these witches can do, they can’t smell the ghastly scent of dead flesh. Of a witch nonetheless?

Fiona is awaiting Cordelia who is now blind due to the acid that was thrown on her face. Fiona’s health is also declining and it is not too clear if it is all the drugs she is partaking in or the cancer but she now has the ability to read minds! And she wants to get it on one last time before her health becomes the death of her. The newly hopeless romantic Fiona wants someone to serenade her with sweet nothings. Can you see how the Axeman can help with this?

Although they torched Myrtle with Fiona accusing her of the one that blinded Cordelia, the true identity of the acid thrower has yet to be determined.

Cordelia walks into the room, and I don’t know what it is, but this girl is stronger than ever, blind and all! Her husband, who became a cheater and a murderer all in one day walks into the room with her. We all know that Fiona thinks Hank is a shitty husband. But now that Cordelia has developed this superpower, she can actually see visions of Hank doing all sorts of nastiness with an unidentifiable girl. She now knows Hank is a cheater, but she has not found out he is also a murderer.

Finding out that you are blind. Then finding out that your husband cheated on you. And then finding out your Mother was right all along. Cordelia has it pretty rough these days. My favorite line and oh so fitting: “I have to go blind to see things that I couldn’t see about you before.”

Unfortunately because of her newfound gift when she touches her mother she also sees Myrtle being torched as well. So now she knows her Mother is a killer.

The girls torture the twisted, tea-serving necrophilia who is now tied to a chair. After Nan reads his mind, we found out what a sicko he truly is. Who knew Nan could read minds in such depth? He talks about the lovely moments he had with Madison and they torture him even more with a hot spatula. This show seriously has no barriers. And I love every bit of it. They asked him if he killed Madison and he replies why yes he did. He would do anything for the other love of his life Fiona. She was the one who actually killed poor Madison. Quirky Zoe doesn’t believe him and knows he is covering for somebody. When did this girl get so smart?

Back at Misty Day’s place she is watering the body of torched Myrtle whose red hair seems to be growing at record speed. She gets distracted by poor Kyle who once again looks lost. I feel sorry for Misty too because she has to bathe him and see all of his weird boy parts. Misty attempts to give him a nice little cleaning in his nether regions and he freaks out. It reminds him of his incestuous mother. He goes bat shit and breaks a Stevie Nick’s CD and this seriously ticks off Misty. Zoe walks in and Misty tells her to get Kyle out of there. She is none to happy with him.

However, Zoe came for another reason, she wants Misty to bring Maddy back to life. After inspecting her body, Misty frowns and says the girl is too dead to bring back to life. So, you are telling me that you can bring burnt witch back by watering her, but this girl is too dead?

But they try anyways and lo and behold Madison starts her journey to the other side. She is alive but I am pretty sure no one is going to give a mirror to Madison any time soon. The girls give her Ginger Ale and I don’t think they realize that ginger ale only helps the stomachs of the very living, not the ones who are recovering from death. Madison has no recollection of what happened to her the night she died.

Hank shows up at Marie Laveau’s house and we find out that he is actually a witch hunter. Apparently he has hunted and murdered 9 witches. This includes Kaley who had been his latest conquest. But I suppose that Hank figured he had to get it in before he took her out. The most loving husband of the year goes to….

He accuses Marie of throwing the acid on Cordy’s face to which Marie replies, “Do I look like the Taliban to you?”

Um. Ok.

Hank is heated; this witch is starting to see things and he is now panicking. Looks like Marie hired Hank as a witch hunter to start offing all of Salem’s decedents.

We get more background on the red-hot hottie that Hank slept with and killed. She was apparently a witch who specialized in the arts of fire. We get a flashback of her interviewing with Cordelia to possibly become a student at her school. We see sneaky Hank watching from the cuts. Kaley can’t keep a man for the life of her because every single time she gets pissed off at one she ends up burning him alive. You might remember her as the hot maid in “American Horror Story” season one. I liked the fact that she works out regularly and plays fantasy football.

Marie is extremely disappointed in Hank. He was given one job and one job only. Kill all the witches in that house. But she is still missing her animal headed lover Bastien. This fires up Miss Marie even more and she demands the heads of all the witches in that house. Poor Hank. I can only imagine what is going to happen to him. Clearly, Fiona and Cordelia are not going to give up their heads that easily. But if he doesn’t, she will not let him live another witch killing day. Retracting back a bit, but Bastien was yet again killed by another witch. This time it was Fiona. His head was delivered to Marie in a box at her shop and I have a feeling that Bastien will make another return- possibly to take out Hank.

Poor Cordelia can barely eat her pills and as she is preparing to go to bed, Axeman in the flesh gives her a little visit. He wants Cordelia to release him. He is about to kill Cordy because that bitch Zoe lied and never did owe up to her promise. As Axeman is preparing to kill her, Zoe somehow learns how to speak another language and casts a spell that releases this man back into the wild. Eventually, this is the girl that is going to come up in the end. I personally think that she will truly be the last one standing. Especially since Jessica Lange might not be returning for additional seasons.

Axeman happily leaves the house and heads to the nearest bar, where he starts to charm a very lonely Fiona.

Whew. That is a lot to take in! Since no one really knows what the Axeman looks like, I cannot wait to see how this story plays out with Fiona who oh so desperately is looking for some good ol’ lovin. Also, Hank’s character has now taken a complete turn and now that he has to deliver the heads of some witches to a very demanding Marie, I honestly am excited to see Hank’s fate.

Because we all know that if witches don’t fight they burn.

And I don’t see these witches burning for a while.