My God. As horror fanatics we all know how cold and lonely the Netflix instant streaming can be. There are some real gems, but among them are some real pieces of shit, like Wishmaster. A 1997 effects heavy reimagining of genie lore that will numb your brain into jelly before destroying your mind with horrible acting, atrocious editing, and a severe misuse of Robert Englund.
The movie’s heart is in the right place. It’s practical effects heavy and features nods to horror classics like The Exorcist. However, the plot is so ill conceived and inconsistent that the list of things to love is pretty much that short.
Everything begins with a gigantic infodump. Several screens of text are hurled at you in quick succession before whisking you away to Persia, amidst a ton of insanity caused by an evil Djinn who sits at the side of the Sultan whispering sweet nothings into his ears. Chaos erupts and there is a cavalcade of death all brought on by the deceptive wish granting of the Djinn. He’s a tricky bastard with dicks for ears.
The Djinn is trapped in a stone. He quickly escapes and asks a very important question of a bystander in the room where he is revived.
For 1997, there are a lot of good ideas here. The design of the Djinn is super inspired. His body reminds me of Gary Oldman’s Dracula armor, and his slithering head tentacles really captivate when the evil bastard is on screen. It’s just a damn shame he changes into this freak about halfway through the film.
You see now that he’s a human we’re treated to an assortment of scenes that force us to think about the premise of the film. He challenges an assortment of one off supporting characters to make a wish for their soul. Often after the deed is done, he turns to the camera and explains his motivations right to us the viewer. Just look at the photo above, he’s about to do it, I swear.
So just when you’re thinking this movie couldn’t get any worse. Shit like this goes down. I’m not sure if this is awesome or makes everything worse.
So Wishmaster should be watched by those of you brave enough to see the insane depths of hell that horror was at in 1997. This movie had a 5 million dollar budget but looks like it was shot by people who knew nothing about framing or editing. There are a ton of good ideas here, but the execution is just plain awful.
But let’s take a look at some of the excellent deaths it features, because boy it features a lot.
So now I’ll watch the rest of these fucking things, and, I imagine wish that my soul had been eviscerated long before I finish. Wish me luck.
Did any of you ever see Wishmaster, what did you think? Am I being too hard on it?
