Movies
The Evil Woods (V)
“With bad writing, a languishingly slow pace, almost zero blood shed, poor—and at times seemingly purposefully grating on my last nerve—performances and virtually no sparkling direction to speak of, there is just absolutely nothing to recommend about this flick—unless you’re looking for something to hold you over till the next Ulli Lommel film arrives to challenge THE EVIL WOODS in a grudge match for worst film of the year.”
ZOMBIES GONE WILD, S.I.C.K, GREEN RIVER KILLER—every year, one film rises up and coagulates like an oil slick of rendered fat in the cinematic melting pot that is my DVD player. Every year, one film gets a distribution deal which forces me to question my belief in the justice of the world even more readily then when I read stories of convicted pedophiles winning the state lottery. Every year, one film tests the very limits of my patience and frays the microscopic threads of my remaining sanity with its utter ineptitude. This year, THE EVIL WOODS looks to be that inglorious film.
The plot as best I can describe it is about a group of teenage friends who head out into the woods for a weekend of drinking, doping and debauchery. This unholy quintet of meat puppets is comprised of: The whipped stoner guy, his uninteresting and unsupportive girlfriend and a pair of moronic sex kittens involved in a threesome with inarguably the most obnoxious character I’ve seen in a film in a very, very, very long time.
Once the gang sets up camp they run into a local mountain-type man who decides to regale the dimwits with a spooky fireside story. This one involves a Park Ranger who, tired of the mess that drunken, doped up and debaucherous denizens were making all over his hallowed grounds decides to axe them all into itty bitty pieces.
I’ll bet you’ll never guess what happens next?
Actually, that’s the trick, because for about an hour, nothing happens next! That’s nearly 60 minutes of a possible 83-minute running time where we have to watch this group of amateur actors spout inane dialogue that is amazingly credited to a screenwriter. Never have I been so utterly convinced that everyone was just making it up as they went along.
The choice utterances of this clan consist of repetitions of the same core group of phrases. Obnoxious guy shouts all of his single-sentence-dialogue like it’s a punchline to a joke by the world’s least respected comic. On top of that, the script is peppered with more F-bombs than a 24-hour marathon of GOODFELLAS. But my favorite scene comes when Whipped Guy finds out his right-rear tire is flat. He exclaims “Dude come here…check this out” then moments later while Obnoxious Guy laments the flat, Whipped guy discovers the left-rear tire is also sans air. His next line is…wait for it…wait for it…OK. “Dude, come here…two flats!” Pure genius! Who writes this stuff? Oh, I know this one. Jason Melling wrote this film! If I were Jason, I’d reconsider my career path.
The direction from Aaron Harvey is hardly any better but he does manage a few interesting camera set-ups when the kills finally kick into gear. Also, you should know that all the kills are off camera. So, if somewhere near the 63 minute mark, you suddenly thought that the gore was gonna make it all worth sticking through, you’re gonna be extra pissed off.
With bad writing, a languishingly slow pace, almost zero blood shed, poor—and at times seemingly purposefully grating on my last nerve—performances and virtually no sparkling direction to speak of, there is just absolutely nothing to recommend about this flick—unless you’re looking for something to hold you over till the next Ulli Lommel film arrives to challenge THE EVIL WOODS in a grudge match for worst film of the year.
There’s been a lot of talk about how Christopher Nolan snuck in some horror elements into his epic adaptation of The Odyssey. However, even before the Cyclops began to eat Ithican soldiers and Circe subjected them to magical body-horror, cinemagoers were already witnessing supernatural terror through a certain trailer that was attached to most IMAX screenings of Nolan’s film.
It turns out that this trailer was for Rob Savage’s Other Mommy, an adaptation of Bird Box author Josh Malerman’s horror novel, Incidents Around the House. With the teaser now available online and revealing that the award-winning Jessica Chastain is playing the titular antagonist (as well as her ill-fated human counterpart), not to mention the fact that the picture is being helmed by the director of hits like Host and The Boogeyman, genre fans are understandably hyped for this upcoming thriller.
That’s why I’ve decided to take a closer look at the trailer and share four things we learned from this sneak peek at Other Mommy!
4. Rob Savage is Going Back to His Supernatural Horror Roots
I know I’m in the minority when I admit that Dashcam is my favorite Rob Savage movie, but even I understand why the filmmakers’ fans have been waiting a while for the director to get back to telling more grounded paranormal stories as he did with 2020’s Host.
Other Mommy obviously isn’t a found footage movie, but moments like the poltergeist activity on the kitchen table combined with the nature of the source material, which actually features a full-on exorcism, indicate that this adaptation is more than a simple creature feature. That’s why I think Savage is once again going to borrow from the same ghostly narratives that made his debut film such a viral hit.
3. Other Mommy is a More Convincing Doppelganger in the Adaptation
Part of the horror from Malerman’s original novel came from the fact that the entity taking on the form of Bela’s (Arabella Olivia Clark) mother wasn’t very good at passing itself off as human. This resulted in several uncanny moments where other characters began to notice that there was something visibly wrong with the family and decided to keep their distance.
Savage’s film appears to be taking a different route, with the trailer showing a version of the entity that can, at least physically, imitate Chastain’s character perfectly. This change is likely the result of the filmmakers wanting to incorporate more paranoid scenes where Bela and her father, played by Jay Duplass, are confused about which Mommy is safe to interact with.
2. The Family is Also Better Off This Time Around
Incidents Around the House featured some interesting subtext about how poverty can negatively affect American family dynamics. After all, the main characters were already feeling scared and isolated before the entity emerged from Bela’s closet and began scratching at their emotional wounds. The trailer for the movie, however, depicts the family as being relatively well off before these incidents begin to occur.
I can only imagine that this part of the story was changed so that the family’s fall from grace can be even more dramatic as the mom and dad’s pasts are revealed and Bela falls further into the clutches of the demonic antagonist.
1. Jessica Chastain is Embodying Evil Dead Rise’s Alyssa Sutherland
Mothers turning against their children is one of the most disturbing horror tropes out there (just check out classics like Hereditary and Carrie if you need proof), but it takes a remarkably skilled actress to pull off such a monstrous transformation. This is especially true when both a regular, loving mother and the Other share the screen in the same film.
That’s why I appreciate how Chastain appears to be channeling another evil redhead mother that recently traumatized audiences with her performance. It’s too early to be sure, but I’m fairly confident that Chastain’s character has at least some amount of Ellie in her cinematic DNA – Ellie being the iconic deadite brought to life by Australian actress Alyssa Sutherland in 2023’s Evil Dead Rise.
Let us know in the comments if you think we missed any important details from the trailer, and don’t forget to check out Other Mommy when it hits theaters on October 9!
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