Movies
The Canyon
“Their collective stupidity is so thick and overbearing, you can’t help but want to see them plunge to their deaths. If only Michael Berryman would simply show up and dispatch them all.”
This review contains spoilers.
Part of the early allure of The Canyon comes with trying to decide exactly where it’s headed. But once the movie finally reveals its chosen path, one can’t help but want to return to base camp. Elopers Nick and Lori decide to spontaneously honeymoon in the Grand Canyon. Stymied by a lack of backcountry permits, the newlyweds are forced to turn to character actor Will Patton—a grizzled, self-described “guide extraordinaire”—for assistance. Following a vague agreement at a local bar, Patton the Super Guide indeed keeps his word, leading the couple on a picturesque mule ride down the canyon, only to be suddenly batted out of the movie by a gnarly rattlesnake attack.
With Will Patton surprisingly (and sadly) taken out of the equation in the first 30 minutes, the naïve yuppies are left to their own devices out in the big bad desert. And here The Canyon forks, taking the audience down the road far less interesting. What could potentially develop into a “ghostly guide comes back from the dead” scenario—or maybe even a “crazy clan of violently inbreeding desert rapists run amok” situation—eventually gives way to a simple and extremely boring man vs. nature survival story.
Eion Bailey (Band of Brothers; Mindhunters) is unrealistically smug and content in the role of Nick. Lost in the desert without food or water with his new wife, he still finds a way to half-smirk his way through every single scene, remaining irritatingly upbeat even in the worst of circumstances. And don’t even get me started on Lori (Yvonne Strahovski; Chuck), a nagging shrew of a spouse who wails like a banshee through the whole heinous ordeal. First she balks when her husband takes a snoot of Will Patton’s road liquor, then she bitches about her kitchen colors back home, and then she starts whining about how much she wants pizza. The Canyon is like a crazy mash-up of 1997’s The Edge and an episode of The Nanny. If you removed all the whining and smirking, the movie would be 45 minutes long.
Even worse, the infuriating script paints every character as learning disabled—or at the very least, severely common-sense-impaired—to the point of audience exasperation. After wandering aimlessly through the desert for a day, Nick and Lori find their path blocked by a seemingly insurmountable 100-foot cliff. Undeterred, they decide to scale the cliff face—without ropes—only to have Lori pause 40-feet up to spontaneously check her cell phone, discover that she’s finally got a signal, and attempt to call 911, all while Nick tenuously grips her hand to keep her from falling. Their collective stupidity is so thick and overbearing, you can’t help but want to see them plunge to their deaths. If only Michael Berryman would simply show up and dispatch them all.
This week kicked off with the release of hippo horror movie Hungry at home, and four more horror movies have arrived for at-home viewing as we head into the final weekend of June.
Here are the new horror movies that released on Friday, June 26, 2026!
The Halloween season can no longer be contained to the months of September and October, with “Summerween” becoming a thing in recent years. Essentially, it allows for Halloween to bleed into the warmer Summer months, and the first ever Summerween movie has arrived.
The Asylum released Summerween onto Digital outlets today.
In the film from writer/director Ryan Ebert, “On Summerween, a former circus clown escapes a mental institution to return to his abandoned mansion and hunt the teens partying there.”
Cole Chapleski, Chase Breithoff, Logan Roe, Sophia Sabol, and Clint Morrison star.
Director Ryan Ebert is the man behind a string of recent indie horrors we’ve covered, including Shark Side of the Moon, The Jolly Monkey, Jurassic Reborn, and Predator: Wastelands.
A witchy coming-of-age story from Dark Sky Films, Camp is now playing in select theaters.
Check your local listings to find a theater near you.
Camp is from writer-director Avalon Fast (Honeycomb, The Serpent’s Skin).
“Emily is the root cause of two devastating tragedies very early in her life, and she feels the weight of these accidents as though cursed. At her father’s suggestion, she takes a position at a summer camp for troubled youth to ease her guilt. When Emily arrives, she is welcomed by the other counselors, who accept her as she is and surround her with peace and forgiveness.
“As Emily begins to believe in a new kind of life, she starts to hear a voice whispering from deep in the woods — one that urges her to go home, and one that may be impossible to ignore.”
The film stars Zola Grimmer in her screen debut alongside Alice Wordsworth, Cherry Moore, Lea Rose Sebastianis (Castration Movie Part 1 & 2, In A Violent Nature), Ella Reece, Austyn Van de Kamp (This Too Shall Pass), Sophie Bawks-Smith (Honeycomb), Izza Jarvis, and Aiden Laudersmith.
Producers Tyler Perry and Jason Blum have joined forces for Peacock Original Strung.
The film is now streaming only on Peacock.
“A talented violinist takes a prestigious job as a music tutor for the gifted daughter of an influential and enigmatic family. As she becomes entangled in their opulent world, unsettling secrets begin to surface, forcing her to question her safety, her dreams, and even her sanity.”
Malcolm D. Lee (Scary Movie 5, Space Jam: A New Legacy) directs from a script written by Alan B. McElroy (Wrong Turn, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers).
Chloe Bailey (“Swarm“), Lynn Whitfield (Jaws: The Revenge), Lucien Laviscount (“Scream Queens”), Anna Diop (Us), Coco Jones (Vampires vs. the Bronx), Langley Kirkwood (“Banshee”), and Romy Woods star in Peacock’s Strung.
Produced by Diablo Cody, director Meredith Alloway’s Forbidden Fruits brought a new coven of witches to the big screen earlier this year, and it’s now streaming on Shudder.
Lola Tung (“The Summer I Turned Pretty”), Victoria Pedretti (“The Haunting of Hill House”), Alexandra Shipp (Tragedy Girls), Gabrielle Union (Breaking In), and Emma Chamberlain star in Forbidden Fruits, released by IFC and Shudder.
Free Eden employee Apple secretly runs a witchy femme cult in the basement of the mall store after hours. But when new hire Pumpkin challenges the group’s ‘girl boss’ ways, the women are forced to face their own poisons or succumb to a bloody fate.
“Forbidden Fruits grabbed me by the neck the very first time I read it,” Diablo Cody said. “It’s one of the craziest, most creative, beautifully bonkers projects I’ve ever worked on.”
Meagan Navarro writes in her review for Bloody Disgusting, “Forbidden Fruits may not necessarily forge new terrain in the teen satire space, but Alloway brings so much style and energy to her well-cast single-location stage play adaptation for the Gen Z crowd.”
The film is an adaptation of playwright Lily Houghton’s stage play Of the Women Came the Beginning of Sin and Through Her We All Die. Alloway and Houghton co-adapted.
This week’s new release roundups are presented by HUNGRY.
All aboard the swamp tour from hell – this hippo isn’t playing games…
HUNGRY is now available on Digital. Watch it now!
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