Movies
Solomon Kane
“While the set designs and wardrobe were beautifully done, there’s really nothing else good about the film. In fact, I would say that Solomon Kane is one of the worst movies of the year. An unfocused mythology, with underdeveloped characters and bad acting make this an unbearable theater experience.”
Editor’s Note: Major spoilers warning
Wow, just wow. Next to Rec 2, Solomon Kane was my most anticipated film at this year’s TIFF. How can you lose with Demons, swordfights, witches, knights and a whopping $60m budget? Ask Uwe Boll as this horror fantasy is one of the dullest, poorly acted and heartless films I’ve seen all year.
The most opens with a bang, as Solomon Kane is robbing a castle. After murdering hundreds of soldiers/knights he makes his way in the front gates. His crew enters a room with mirrors lined up in a row down the hall. As they walk onward, his warrior buddies are picked off one by one by creatures hiding within the mirrors. It’s intense, creepy and incredibly stylish. Solomon is the only to survive as he makes it into the treasure room, where he’s confronted by Death, who tells him he’s going to take him to hell for all of his evil ways. Solomon narrowly escapes and everything goes downhill from there. This is where the character development goes off track as Solomon puts killing behind him in an attempt to gain redemption. After being expelled from the Church, a group of nomads are taken by a lot of possessed soldiers and Solomon goes off to save the woman – not because he wants to save her, but because HE might be redeemed for doing so. His entire plight is selfish and everything he does is for himself. Solomon Kane is yet another film lacking a protagonist.
The screenplay issues continue as once Solomon escapes Death, NOTHING happens. There’s a little something here and there, but for the most part the entire film is jammed with heavy over explanatory exposition. It also doesn’t help when your main character delivers one of the worst performances of the year. Beyond that, James Purefoy was horribly miscast as he didn’t look or act the role. Even though his delivery was off, being forced to recite some of the lines in the movie only added fuel to the flames. Dialogue isn’t the only problem as rules are invented along the way. One of my favorite (bad) scenes is when Solomon returns to the castle he grew up in, where he finds his fathered chained to a wall in a prison cell. His father yaps and yaps revealing all sorts of crap such as the fact that the evil demon with the skin mask is actually Solomon’s brother (an obvious surprise). Again, his father is chained to the wall, and Solomon exclaims something along the lines of, “I’ll get you out of here,” to which the father replied, “these chains can’t be broken,” explaining that the chains have been put under a spell by an evil sorcerer that he called into this world. Again, where the heck is this all coming from? Everything is explained in dialogue and not a single thing is gestured on. It’s a movie, tell the story with images.
But the most insulting part of about Solomon Kane is the finale where Solomon has to battle the evil sorcerer who lets loose a gigantic fire demon from hell. Solomon bounces around avoiding being hit by this creature, but then eventually gives in and sacrifices himself. The second he plays martyr, God blasts through Solomon destroying all of the evil in the room. Yeah, seriously, that happened. I looked over at my friend who let loose one of the most hilarious happy smiles I’ve ever seen in my life. His face had confirmed my thoughts that what I had just witnessed was mind-blowing and shockingly bad. I don’t act like this when I’m in a theater, but I began laughing uncontrollably as I just couldn’t believe it. There was no way this was the end. So, wait, there’s no epic battle? No fight? No climax? It just… ends…because of God?
While the set designs and wardrobe were beautifully done, there’s really nothing else good about the film. In fact, I would say that Solomon Kane is one of the worst movies of the year. An unfocused mythology, with underdeveloped characters and bad acting make this an unbearable theater experience. If you simply can’t help yourself, just go watch Conan to suppress that evil, evil urge.
A very hungry hippopotamus leads the charge for this week’s brand new horror releases, with Hungry now available at home along with four other new genre movies on Digital outlets.
Here’s all the new horror that released on Tuesday, June 23, 2026!
After a limited theatrical run, hippo horror movie Hungry is now available at home.
From writer and director James Nunn (Shark Bait, One Shot), Hungry follows thrill-seeking tourists on a riverboat tour through the treacherous Louisiana swamplands. Lured off the beaten path by the promise of an exclusive adventure, they soon find themselves fighting for survival against a ravenous hippopotamus lurking beneath the bayou’s murky waters.
Madison Davenport (It’s What’s Inside), Tracey Bonner (Greenland), Michel Curiel (“She-Hulk: Attorney at Law”), Jim Meskimen (“Parks and Recreation”), Samantha Coughlan (Arcadian), Olivia Bernstone (Fighting with My Family), River Codack (“Happy Face”), and Joaquim de Almeida (Desperado) star.
Rob Hunter wrote in his review for Bloody Disgusting, “When all is said and done, Hungry is a genuinely solid animal attack film that succeeds in making its creature threat thrilling, entertaining, and, dare I say, educational?” Rob’s review continues, “Characters are grounded and engaging, the film moves well between suspense, character beats, and action, and the effects used to bring the hippo to life are highly effective and never feel like distractions.”
William Bagley‘s horror comedy Hold the Fort is now available on Digital.
In the film, “Lucas and Jenny think their life is finally coming together when the couple become homeowners. Little do they know that their new house comes with a big catch.
“Lucas and Jenny soon find themselves in a fight for their lives when they become trapped in a battle between their Homeowners Association and an onslaught of monsters from hell.”
Vertigo Releasing promises, “The horror-comedy takes the timely concern of home-ownership and wraps this up in an entertaining action-packed thrill ride.“
Chris Mayers (Adult Swim Yule Log), Haley Leary (“The Walking Dead”), Levi Burdick, and Julian Smith star in Hold the Fort, written and directed by William Bagley.
The latest from filmmaker Alex Noyer, Love Is the Monster is now available on Digital.
Madeline Zima (“Doom Patrol,” “Twin Peaks”) and Leonardo Nam (Werewolf by Night, “Westworld”) star as the unlucky couple discovering romance’s malevolent side.
“Following their marriage being rocked by infidelity, Ana and Justin attend an exclusive couples retreat in Finland, under the golden rays of the summer’s midnight sun. They join other international couples to experience the transformative teachings of the shaman and healer, Tiina, inspired by the ancient Finnish goddess of love and fertility, Lempo.
“Despite her doubts and some ominous first experiences, Ana gives the retreat a chance, but the thrill is quickly replaced by a battle for survival, as the influence of the divinity and the pagan rituals turn deadly. Couples’ problems lead to calamity, while Ana learns about the peculiar role she unwittingly plays in Tiina’s plans.”
Kimberly Sue-Murray (“The Boys”), Moe Jeudy-Lamour (“Ted Lasso”), Kristina Tonteri-Young (“Warrior Nun“), Milla Puolakanaho (Attack on Helsinki), and Sheila McCarthy (Women Talking) also star in Love Is the Monster.
Alex Noyer co-wrote the script with his Sound of Violence collaborator Hannu Aukia and Blair Bathory. Laurence Gendron joins Noyer and Aukia as a producer.
Samara Weaving (Ready or Not 2: Here I Come) and Kyle Gallner (Strange Darling) come together in Carolina Caroline, a sexy crime thriller now available at home.
It’s not a horror movie, mind you, but it’s worth a mention here all the same.
Kyra Sedgwick (Family Movie) and Jon Gries also star in the romantic crime thriller.
Director Adam Carter Rehmeier’s film stars Samara Weaving as Caroline Daniels, whose desire to leave her small Texas town brings her into the orbit of a charismatic con man (Kyle Gallner), and together they weave a path of crime and passion across the American Southeast.
Adam Rehmeier previously directed the films Dinner in America and Snack Shack.
Tom Dean wrote the screenplay for Carolina Caroline.
Described as a mash-up between Pumpkinhead and Cube, Round the Decay offers a fresh take on the monster movie formula with roots extending into psychological and folk horror.
The film is now available on VOD outlets at home.
Written and directed by Adam Newman (Everwinter Night), indie monster movie Round the Decay follows a young woman as she returns to the sleepy town of Newport’s Valley two years after a devastating tragedy and uncovers an all-consuming secret.
Victoria Mirrer leads a cast that includes Damian Maffei (The Strangers: Prey At Night), Sienna Hubert-Ross (Terrifier 3), Melody Kay (The NeverEnding Story III), Phil Duran (Breaking Bad), Sarah Nicklin (The Black Mass), Rachel Pizzolato (Mythbusters Jr.), and Roger Clark (Red Dead Redemption II).
Round the Decay boasts a practical creature designed by veteran special effects artist Greg McDougall (The Haunting of Hill House, Stranger Things, War of the Worlds).
This week’s new release roundups are presented by HUNGRY.
All aboard the swamp tour from hell – this hippo isn’t playing games…
HUNGRY is now available on Digital. Watch it now!
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