Editorials
Jess’ Top 10 Horror Films of All Time
Greetings readers!
I’m new to these parts so I thought I would introduce myself in list form, specifically my end-all-be-all favorite horror flicks.
By no means are these the best horror movies ever made but they are my favorites. If desert islands had TV and DVD hook up capability these are the ones I would bring with me.
Enough blathering on and let’s get to the movies!
10. Candyman:
The 10 spot in my ultimate list goes to the only 90s horror movie that will appear on this list. As a whole I don’t really subscribe to the 90s meta/cynical idea of a horror movie. Of course there are exceptions like Scream and I do love Urban Legend as flawed as it may be but generally my tastes reside in the 70s/80s fare.
What I love about Candyman is it remains socially relevant no matter when you watch it. Every time I turn it on I see bits and pieces of world events today happening within the story, events that hadn’t even happened yet are depicted in this film. In the horror genre it’s hard to make a movie that doesn’t eventually date itself. We all the style of the 80s slashers and 70s psychological hits but most come away dated in some way.
Not to mention I was always the lame ass at slumber parties who refused to do anything related to Bloody Mary lore. I’m 24 and I still refuse to call that bitch out. Obviously Candyman follows in the same vein but instead of scaring you to death or whatever it is Mary does he rips you from groin to gullet with a big tetanus-y looking hook. No fucking thank you.
9. Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (aka Blade of the Ripper):
My love for Giallo, and other Italian sleaze, was born of Edwige Fenech, George Hilton, and Ivan Rassimov’s warped love triangle. If you are new to the genre, or looking to indoctrinate your friends to it, I highly recommend starting with this film. It’s basically a step by step guide on how a Giallo formula works.
I fell in love with Strange Vice upon first viewing because I didn’t know there were movies like it, let alone an entire catalogue of them. I always loved the slasher type of film but this made me realize it can also be done with a dash of sex appeal and class. It’s also a great mystery and the twist is almost perfect and brings a smile to my face every time!
End note: Edwige Fenech made me realize one of my two “girl crushes”.
8. Videodrome:
What can I say about David Cronenberg that hasn’t been said? The man is a genius of the body horror and was always YEARS ahead of his time and none of his films prove that true as well as Videodrome does. In a world where we are consistently “hyper-stimulated” by social media and portable technology it’s uncanny how close this movie mimics us.
And really, that’s what makes this movie so scary to me. It’s not quite as grotesque as The Brood or The Fly but it taps into the psychology of the modern world so acutely that you can’t help but come out of it worried about what further advances could do to us as a whole. That doesn’t mean I’m going to put down my iPhone or stop gulping down as much media as I can, it just means I know the inevitable consequences of over saturation.
Bonus love: James Woods and Debbie (oh sorry, DEBORAH) Harry are so deliciously sleazy it’s impossible to not acknowledge how perfect they are.
7. Suspiria:
Please, oh please let this be one remake idea that remains shelved at least until I am cryogenically frozen somewhere. If Strange Vice was my introduction to Giallo then Suspiria was my introduction to the bat-shit crazy side of Italian horror cinema. Dario Argento has fallen pretty hard off the good-movie-making wagon but his films from the late 70s to mid 80s are something to be adored.
Suspria is a film of its time and I don’t mean it’s dated, actually it shows the type of filmmaking that can never be duplicated in the mainstream. The amalgamation of lighting and sound design are what sets Argento apart from everyone else at this time. Honestly, it’s no surprise Argento generally makes shit nowadays he probably used all of his creative genius to make his early films.
The story does get a bit muddled as we hit the half way point but it never loses the audiences attention. We are constantly worried for Jessica Harper’s character and are just as confused about the surroundings as she is. Suspiria made me realize that a film doesn’t need to be completely linear or coherent to be good and it made way for me to enjoy other directors like David Lynch.
6. Creature From the Black Lagoon:
As I’m sure most of you did, my first introduction to horror movies came from the Universal Monsters Collection. As I got older my favorites began to cement themselves and my appreciation for the Monsters grew, especially after learning how they saved Universal Studios from going bankrupt. It’s a goddamn shame that Universal Studios them park is taking out The Universal Monsters attraction because of lack of interest.
Creature From the Black Lagoon is my favorite of the originals, I even got him tattooed on my leg. Though this isn’t one from the “hayday” of the 30s, it still captures the same magic as Dracula and Frankenstein did. In fact if you look at the number of horror movies made in 1954, only 6, you’ll see that Creature is in fair company when it came to monsters sharing the spot with Godzilla and Them!
Though it is the “younger” of the original monsters it still holds that same magical otherworldly feel from the others. Watching the Creature himself interact with the characters is always mesmerizing given he has no dialogue, not even groaning like the Monster in Frankenstein. Ricou Browning and Ben Chapman, the actors who brought Creature to life, are grossly overlooked in their talent. They aren’t even credit for Christ’s sake! From a technological aspect this is clearly the best of the entries but it holds dear to my heart for its simple and beautiful story.
5. Hellraiser:
The second Clive Barker story turned horror film to top in my list is Hellraiser. Despite it’s really weird and confounding ending I will forever adore this movie for an array of reasons. Namely: Pinhead. Pinhead is a great character because he isn’t the true villain of the film or really any of the ones to follow. He is simply a minion of Hell who has a job to do and I bet he gets employee of the month every time! It’s really Julia and Frank who are the real villains.
I’m also a big fan of mixing animation and live action so the incredible use of claymation effects is beautiful to watch. Hellraiser is just a fun movie and I even enjoy some of the sequels.
4. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984):
Unlike Pinhead, Freddy is indeed the villain of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise but there is just something about him that worms his way into our hearts.
Though my introduction to horror was through Universal Monsters , Nightmare on Elm Street was the ultimate test of my loyalty. I was probably about 10 or 11 when I first saw Freddy in all of his glory. It was late at night and I was staying at a friends house and we were searching for scary late night movies on TV. Low and behold this was what happened to be showing on Big Chuck and Little John that evening. As I watched in unending fear while one of my friends laughed at me I knew it was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. From then on all I wanted to watch was horror. I wanted to regain that fear I had first experienced and to this day the scene where Tina shows up in her body bag still gives me chills.
3. Carrie (1976):
It’s a damn shame that now whenever anyone wants to search for Carrie they will have to differentiate between 1976 and 2013. Brian De Palma is a great filmmaker but for me Carrie will always be my favorite. Carrie hits close to home for me, and I think many other girls, who were hesitant about going into High School. The psychic aspect of this movie is really the least frightening thing about this film, the scary part are the terrible classmates.
Sissy Spacek is one of the only performances in horror that has ever made me feel really really terrible for what was happening to them. In a lot of horror movies we don’t get a lot of chances to really feel for our inevitable victims. Usually we just eagerly await for them to get picked off one by one. The character of Carrie in the FILM (not the book!) is so heartbreaking that any female, whether you were popular or not, can’t help but feel bad for her. As a 13 year old girl my first experience with Carrie was a terrifying one considering I was just about to go into High School.
Thankfully my school experience was nowhere near as horrible as Carrie’s I still can’t help but feel so emotionally drained after each viewing.
2. Creepshow:
Taking the second spot on my list is another Stephen King adaptation and the film that made Anthology Horror my second favorite sub-genre. Creepshow is damn near perfect in my book, it combines horror and humor seamlessly and never favors one over the other. Coming in at 2 hours long it is also probably one of the lengthiest of anthology horrors.
Creepshow is a collection of 5 stories written by Stephen King and directed by zombie grandfather George Romero. It’s one of the few times we get a non-zombiecentric film from Romero and is the best of his King adaptation projects. It also nails it with a great wrap around story featuring Tom “Thrill me” Atkins and King’s son Joe Hill.
This movie made me seek out other anthologies and ultimately led me to my desire to, eventually, write a guide to every single one I can seek out.
Side note: “They’re Creeping Up On You” is my favorite segment despite my crippling fear of cockroaches.
1. The Shining (1980):
Okay so I really didn’t mean to make my top 3 horror films of all time Stephen King adaptations, I really didn’t. But looking at the movies I have chosen of his work can you blame me? Although, I almost feel like this isn’t considered to be a real adaptation of his considering he hates it so much.
I find every aspect of this film to be fascinating and every time I watch it I pick up on new things and new feelings. It also gave me the lifelong fear of creepy dead kids. Even though I know exactly when the twins will appear I can’t help but get goosebumps every time Danny starts riding his big wheel over the wooden floor.
Side note: Strangely enough the building I live in reminds everyone of The Overlook.
And there you have it! My personal favorites of this wonderful genre we all love. I’m sure you won’t all agree with everything on my list and probably not the order but I loves what I loves. What are your favorites?
In this day and age, the word “troll” is often used to describe various online nuisances. Yet as abundant and irksome as the modern troll can be, they aren’t usually as fearsome as their mythological counterparts. I’m not talking about the small and gentler versions that have become more common to see in media. No, there are much bigger and scarier trolls out there—and André Øvredal’s movie Troll Hunter is one of the best places to find them.
It doesn’t take long for Troll Hunter (or Trolljegeren) to dump the Blair Witch Project-esque setup and aim for something a lot fresher. The trajectory of the story is augmented by Otto Jespersen’s character Hans, the titular Troll Hunter. The second he comes barreling out of the deep, dark woods and shouts “troll” at the camera, this movie takes a turn into what feels like uncharted territory. Not only subject-wise, but also conceptually.
For fantastical and made-up subject matter in cinema, found footage is a fast way to add a guise of believability. After all, what we accept to be the most crucial aspect of documentaries—the truth—rubs off on pseudo-documentaries, despite our understanding of the pretense involved. That is what Øvredal delivered with Troll Hunter: a movie so convincing that some viewers wondered if trolls really do exist. So, had this been straightforwardly made, it likely wouldn’t have been as effective. Conventional narratives would be more inclined to treat something like trolls as flat out unreal, and never try to convince the audience to think otherwise.
Hans petrifies the three-headed Tusseladd troll.
The viewers, like the characters trailing Hans, are quickly thrown into the deeper end of that extraordinary story. They have to process all this new information while staying on the go. So, although there is no significant amount of meandering, narratively or physically, there is still a good amount of atmosphere, not to mention tension building. It’s never anything frightful, but then again, Troll Hunter isn’t your standard offering of horror; it’s more on the low end of the dark fantasy spectrum. We aren’t ever spirited away to a faraway world—we stay in rather familiar surroundings, as well as dip into those less so. The outcome is a movie where you’re constantly more in awe than in terror.
As fantasy fiction might do, Troll Hunter prefers not to deal with incredulity. There is no time to waste on doubt, as interviewer Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), soundperson Johanna (Johanna Mørck), and cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen) all follow Hans around, recording whatever this character is willing to reveal about his bizarre job. Of course, the Troll Hunter himself is not an open book; in that respect, the diegetic documentary fails to fully capture and unpack the more interesting of its two subjects. Yes, all those giant, monstrous trolls are indeed incredible, but understandably, your mind wanders to their pursuer. What kind of person signs up for this gig and then chooses to stick with it for so long?
Reviews have called out Troll Hunter for its lack of character development. In regard to Thomas and his fellow documentarians, that criticism is valid, but bear in mind, they aren’t the focus of the story, either. Meanwhile, Hans is a well-crafted character. At least better than first realized. Before he was introduced, Hans had already grown tired of the troll grind. Fed up with that low compensation for his services, resentful of the bureaucracy, and wanting to expose his employer on a large scale, Hans’ discontent is glaring.
Then there are those finer details about the Troll Hunter, such as that indifference to both the natural splendor of his everyday surroundings and the affections of an obviously smitten colleague, that also suggest some level of despondency. So it is fair to say this movie doesn’t feature any sizable growth for its characters; however, the namesake isn’t underwritten. No doubt, putting a real-life character like Otto Jespersen in that role is partly why Hans is so fascinating—maybe even relatable.
Otto Jespersen as Hans the Troll Hunter.
There is always a small risk whenever using the term “mockumentary” to describe a found-footage movie, as the word could imply humor where there is none. In the case of Troll Hunter, the term’s usage is appropriate. Some folks have claimed the English-dubbed version has the more comedic tone, however, the Norwegian cut isn’t exactly humorless. Apart from the trolls’ absurd appearances, this is a movie where the characters nearly choke on the monsters’ farts, and Christians are like walking targets. Hans’ complete apathy towards everything is another cause of laughter. Overall, the comedy is intentionally dry and inconsistent. Unfunny, though? Absolutely not.
In a movie where endemic creatures are maltreated, as well as disavowed from living freely and peacefully, it’s hard not to notice the ecological message buried beneath the story. In addition to that is the unmistakable political satire. There is this whole business about intrusive and unsightly power lines—like trolls, they’re big blemishes on the land—that leads to what is perhaps the movie’s funniest moment. The scene in question is that one where certain electric lines, the ones secretly being used to keep the trolls at bay, go in a loop and don’t actually send power to any residents. Yet the monitors of said lines don’t find this at all weird. So it stands to reason that Øvredal was having a go at those who accept the government’s doings without question.
Looking past the fact that trolls aren’t actually real, this movie is an enlightening source of information. And not just for international audiences; Norwegians, too, get schooled about their homeland’s own mythology. It’s also evident from everything on screen that Øvredal and his crew were enthusiastic about the topic. The creature designs are the most indicative of that zeal; those imaginative yet myth-accurate manifestations are equally amusing and grotesque. One second you’re laughing at their phallic noses, the next you’re white-knuckling during a hairy sequence. Most surprisingly is how well the trolls’ visual effects hold up after fifteen years. It’s not all spotless, but on the whole, they remain impressive.
Vouching for a mockumentary about trolls isn’t easy, but those who do come around and give it a shot will more than likely be grateful for the recommendation. For Troll Hunter is a real find in that vast and varied genre we call “found footage“.
A bridge troll reaches up for food and finds Hans decked out in armor.
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