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“AHS: Delicate” Review – Part One Finale Satanically Conjures a Whole Lot of Nothing

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‘AHS: Delicate’ struggles to practice what it “Preech”-es as generations of Satanic conspiracies bring the audience back to start.

“You’re having a fucking baby. Of course it hurts.”

American Horror Story is no stranger to more intimate seasons that largely rest on the shoulders of one or two characters. This approach can be successful, but this horror anthology series usually feels the most effortless when it operates like a proper ensemble piece. AHS: Delicate has focused almost entirely on Emma Roberts’ Anna Victoria Alcott and the ticking time bomb that gestates inside of her. It’s proven to be a mixed bag of an approach that becomes even more questionable in “Preech,” Part One’s “finale,” which emphasizes that Anna is not in fact special. She’s merely the latest trend in Satanic subjugation as dark forces give their master plan another go. It’s a turn that presents AHS: Delicate as a much bigger story than it’s initially let on. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean that it’s a better one and “Preech” reflects a weak formula that’s in dire need of prenatal vitamins to nurse itself back to health.

“Preech” begins with another blast to the past, this time to 1987, as a young Io Preecher (Julie White) experiences her own Satanically-intervened pregnancy. A sprawling exposition dump is never a productive way to advance a story, especially when it conveniently happens out of nowhere. Curiously, Ms. Preecher’s harrowing story isn’t told to Anna, but rather Dex’s mom, Virginia (Debra Monk), which lessens its impact. It feels like AHS: Delicate wants to keep Anna so badly in the dark that it’s willing to give every other character vital information. Virginia has also been subjected to Satanic torture because apparently when it comes to the show’s supporting female characters: all of them witches. “Preech” continues to reiterate the season’s dominant theme wherein “women will do anything for each other,” yet at the same time Anna seethes over Babette Eno’s success and twitches as her pastries get purloined. 

The most fascinating turn of events that’s introduced in “Preech” is one that threatens to undercut the entire season’s message. Matt Czuchry is doing as much as he can with Dexter Harding, but he’s hardly been the season’s breakout character. He’s been given even less to do than Roberts as he perpetually vacillates between supportive and skeptical. This makes it especially confusing to hear that Dex is evidently the most important character in American Horror Story: Delicate and the true cause for everything that’s happened. Anna’s Satanic pregnancy is somehow all just a way to get revenge on Dex for his past life decisions. It’s somehow all-too fitting that this feminist slant on Rosemary’s Baby ends up being all about a man.

Ms. Preecher drops her share of bombshells in “Preech.” Unfortunately, Anna–and by proxy, the audience–remain in a frustrating echo chamber of cheap thrills. AHS: Delicate cycles through the same creepy images and ideas that have been around since the season’s start, whether that’s goat midwives or voodoo Barbies, without really developing them or taking them to fresh places. These visuals are even less effective now than before since the audience has grown numb to them at this point. Anna’s recurring blemish is distressing, sure, but does anyone expect it to pay off in a way that’s better or different than Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark’s “Spider Zit” scene? A PG-13 movie shouldn’t be able to dunk on a M-rated cable series.

The same issues are faced when it comes to Roberts’ languishing performance across this season. Roberts is often one of American Horror Story’s strongest players, but Anna Victoria Alcott is no Madison Montgomery. In fact, there aren’t any characters in AHS: Delicate that truly stand out. The closest success story is Siobhan Corbyn, but even she’s sparse by American Horror Story standards. Kim Kardashian is actually really fun in this episode, especially when she’s bouncing off of Dominic Burgess’ Hamish, but it’s camp over quality. Even Annabelle Dexter-Jones doing double duty as Sonia and Adeline isn’t enough to wake this season up. “Preech’s” last act finally allows Roberts to break out of her shell a little, show some range, and do something different. This hints at a promising return for American Horror Story: Delicate, but the season has just been too slap-dash and reliant on vibes over validity. Remember Cara Delevingne’s weird character, Ivy? Remember when Anna ate a rotting raccoon?

“Preech” puts in its due diligence, but the biggest problem with this “finale” is ultimately not American Horror Story’s fault. “Preech” is just a standard episode that ends without much fanfare. Granted, AHS: Delicate attempts to cram a few more revelations into its final moments, but none of these are the major gamechanger or cliffhanger that the season needs in order to keep audiences invested for whenever Part Two rolls around. “Preech” was never written to function as a finale and it’s only being presented this way because of production complications from the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. It’s an unfortunate situation that American Horror Story finds itself in and I’ll be genuinely curious to see if viewership retains over the season’s second-half. 

Part Two of AHS: Delicate really needs to up its oxytocin dosage and induce labor as quickly as possible.

2.5 out of 5 skulls

Daniel Kurland is a freelance writer, comedian, and critic, whose work can be read on Splitsider, Bloody Disgusting, Den of Geek, ScreenRant, and across the Internet. Daniel knows that "Psycho II" is better than the original and that the last season of "The X-Files" doesn't deserve the bile that it conjures. If you want a drink thrown in your face, talk to him about "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part II," but he'll always happily talk about the "Puppet Master" franchise. The owls are not what they seem.

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Lifetime’s ‘The Manny’ Is a Fun, Silly Take on ‘The Stepfather’ [Review]

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You know that when prolific director Doug Campbell is involved in a thriller, it’s going to be a ridiculously good time. So although The Manny, written by screenwriters Tamar Halpern and Scotty Mullen, isn’t on the same level as this year’s She’s Obsessed with My Husband, it’s still got plenty to recommend.

Lani McCall (Joanne Jansen) is a food vlogger on the rise. She’s on the cusp of signing a major network contract, thanks to love interest Zack (Brendan Morgan), but her recent divorce from unreliable husband Darren (Jamaal Grant) has left her in a precarious child care situation.

Lani tends to rely on assistant/producer Mercedes (Hailey Summer), but it’s not a sustainable situation. What she really needs is a nanny for her son, Jaylen (Ashton Ayres); ideally as soon as possible.

A close up of Morgan (Michael Evans Behling)'s face

Enter Morgan (Michael Evans Behling), a hunky 23 year old who cooks, cleans, and dotes on Lani. He’s too good to be true, which – in Lifetime films – is code for “he’s a completely homicidal wacko.”

The joy of these thrillers isn’t piecing together who the villain is; that’s usually obvious from the opening scene (that applies here: The Manny opens with Morgan putting away notepads on his previous “families” and starting a fresh one with a picture of Lani and Jaylen on the cover).

Instead the fun comes from watching the ridiculous gaslighting the villains do before they get their inevitable comeuppance. And, in the case of The Manny, Halpern and Mullen understand that silly is often better than serious.

Which is why when Morgan begins disposing of Lani’s closest friends and confidants to secure his position in the household and her heart, his technique is hilariously unusual. For example, Lani’s sex-positive neighbor Shannon (Jenny Itwaru) is first painted as a gossip before Morgan poisons her smoothie with (get this) expired prosciutto in order to give her a stomach bug.

Morgan’s psychotic behavior quickly escalates to include identity theft, catfishing, and eventually murder, albeit even the latter action is sublimely silly. I can’t honestly say I’ve ever seen asphyxiation by Murphy bed in a thriller before, but I hope to again!

Morgan (Michael Evans Behling) shirtless doing yard work

Considering Morgan ingratiates himself into Lani’s life partially via cooking, it’s amusing how many of his violent acts involve kitchen items. Mercedes is removed temporarily from the equation when she breaks a leg falling down cooking oil-greased stairs and, in the kitchen-set climax, Morgan even threatens to tip a pot of boiling water on top of Jaylen’s head.

In different hands, this could be genuinely scary, but Campbell’s directorial approach tends to lean into camp territory. Halpern and Mullen’s screenplay adopts a similar approach, peppering Zack’s dialogue with affirmations of the Manny’s model good looks, including the observation that his “lips are distracting.” Even serious moments, such as when Morgan alleviates Lani’s stress by rubbing peppermint oil on her neck, is accompanied by the double entendre “Yeah, you are pretty tight.”

Evans Behling is having a great time as the perpetrator, striking the right balance between unhinged and doe-eyed innocent. Not unlike The Stepfather films, Morgan is basically a family annihilator in search of the perfect pair, though the traumatic origin of his obsession feels slightly at odds tonally with the goofiness of the rest of the plot.

As the gaslit protagonist, Jansen is saddled with the least interesting role, though Lani’s struggle to balance her career while dating and single parenting is relatable content. Secondary characters are enjoyable enough, particularly when they are given opportunities to be suspicious of Morgan.

At its core, The Manny is a silly and entertaining entry in Lifetime’s catalogue of thrillers. Any film that ends with a battle in the woods and features a ski pole as a weapon is alright by me.

The Manny premieres on Lifetime Thursday, May 9.

4 out of 5 skulls

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