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New Secrets In ‘Alan Wake Remastered’ Have Set My Fan-Theory Brain On Fire

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“Beyond the shadow you settle for, there is a miracle illuminated.” Those words by Thomas Zane spoken in Remedy’s Alan Wake are not as often quoted by fans as some other go-to lines–something like “It’s not a lake, it’s an ocean” comes to mind as a fan-favorite. But I nonetheless had Zane’s line on my mind this past week when I dove into Alan Wake Remastered. In many ways, the game’s warm reception in 2021 is something I couldn’t see coming. 

Each year that passed since Alan Wake launched (fatefully) alongside Red Dead Redemption in May of 2010 has made it feel less likely that we’d ever get Wake’s proper sequel. But whatever the perpetually cryptic Zane meant when he said that line to Alan, I’ve looked at Alan Wake Remastered–and the obvious sequel we’ll now be getting–as one of gaming’s great miracles. Before I dive in head-first with more fan theories, note that this article will include several SPOILERS for Alan Wake and Control, so proceed at your own risk (and don’t mind my madness).

Alan Wake Remastered is a special kind of re-release. It’s one that alters the original not just visually, but with important new content. When playing the game for review over these past few days, I happened upon a few subtle nods that Remedy left for players, and whether you can’t play the game yourself or you maybe did and missed them, I wanted to break them down here so the theory-obsessed fan community can take a close look at these new “visions” of Alan Wake.

By my count, three times throughout the remastered version of the game, players can find new QR codes that were never in the game before. Scan them and each one will bring you to new footage of Alan–official whereabouts unknown, but we can assume the Dark Place. Sporting his longer hair and filmed in the same style that we saw during Control’s Wake-heavy second DLC episode, these so-called visions offer more of Remedy’s preferred brand of puzzling language that nonetheless leaves breadcrumbs for players to follow.

The first vision appears in the game’s opening moments. As Alan is taunted and chased by his first Taken, he retreats down a staircase and passes an outdoor board of flyers, signs, and a curious QR code. Vision 1 features Alan recapping, albeit vaguely, what sounds like the DLC episodes now packed in with the main game. Alan was trapped in the Dark Place, too deep to emerge from this apparently physical (or maybe not) realm.

So he learned how to write himself out of trouble, twisting his own words into weapons to push back against The Dark Presence which sought to use his own mind against him. This is exactly the plot of the second DLC episode, The Writer, so its placement in the first scene may seem odd, but it’s so cryptic that I think it works. If you’ve played before, you may pick up on what Alan is talking about. And if not, it’ll swiftly go over your head as you continue through the tutorial.

The part of this first vision I can’t figure out is Wake’s mention of a detective. He was made famous thanks to his Alex Casey novels, who himself is a stand-in for Max Payne, but Wake seems to suggest he needs a new detective to help him out of The Dark Place. Who is this detective? We don’t seem to have seen them yet, but we may have heard of them.. Nightingale is an FBI Special Agent and Sarah Breaker is the Bright Falls Sheriff. But her dad, Frank Breaker, was a police officer in New York years ago. 

control awe review 01

We learn this in Control, where we also learned he was something of a liaison for the Federal Bureau of Control when they appeared on the scene following Alan’s incident, declaring Cauldron Lake a Place of Power, or a geographic location sensitive to paranatural events. Frank himself used to be an FBC agent according to information discovered in Control, and in Wake is one of several people who Sheriff Breaker tells Alan’s agent Barry to call and issue the blunt message: “Night Springs.”

We never get to learn why Breaker meant with her message, but we can deduce she kept a list of townspeople on standby who would need to be alerted in the event of a brush with The Dark Presence. Put all this together and we have Frank Breaker, possibly a former detective and definitely in-the-know regarding the weirdness of Cauldron Lake. Could he be the one Alan is summoning in his newest manuscript as seen in Vision 1? I believe so.

Vision 2 feels even more cryptic than the first, but that may be because I’m trying to extract too much from a simple mood trailer for what is effectively Alan Wake 2. In this vision, Alan speaks of inspiration, how he takes it from reality and twists it to fit his story, thus making his “lies” come true. While this could be read at face value as simply a meditative thought on the writing process, I do sense Alan is also referencing Control in this second clip.

In the AWE DLC, it’s implied that all of the events in Control are actually the result of Alan Wake’s writing and thus not real. Some fans seemed disappointed by this, perhaps especially those who came to Control without having played Wake and then might’ve felt like their beloved Jesse Faden was relegated to imaginary status. But I think this second vision actually proves that’s not the case. Alan says he pulls from reality, adds in fiction, and the end result is an amalgam that makes the latter exist like the former.

It seems clear to me that Alan Wake and Jesse Faden both exist in the same universe and, importantly, neither is the figment of the other’s imagination. Alan is bending reality to set himself free after years in The Dark Place, but the kernel of truth remains: Jesse is real too. This should be good news for fans who hope to see both stories continue, as they no doubt will be, given Remedy’s official announcements regarding Control and suddenly frequent teases regarding Alan Wake.

In the final vision, Alan seems to write his escape from The Dark Place. He describes coming up to the waterline in Cauldron Lake, naked and suffering from amnesia. Nearby, a dead deer rests by the dock. Without any sense of why, he runs into the forest “to a fate worse than death,” and the vision ends. While I find most of this to be pretty clear and in line with what we’ve seen from his story before, with his amnesia maybe explained by how he says horror stories require sacrifice, the part that trips me up is the fate worse than death. Simply put, I have no idea what this could mean. 

While I love talking Remedy Connected Universe theories, I’m stumped by this phrase and would love to hear your thoughts. What is Alan’s fate worse than death? Is Alice dead? Is Alan’s mind never going to recover? Is he now “taken” too? It’s clearer than ever that we’re going to get Alan Wake 2 within the next few years, but that just means we have a few years to come up with our best theories. These are some of mine following the new content in Alan Wake Remastered. I’d love to hear yours.

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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