Reviews
‘Chop Goblins’ Video Game Review – A Delightfully Whimsical Time-Killer
Immediately upon loading Chop Goblins, the latest game from Dusk developer David Szymanski, you’re greeted with title screen music that sounds like a dark carnival crossed with a Saturday morning cartoon, perfectly setting the stage for the wackiness you’re about to experience. Over the next five levels, you’ll chase the titular creatures as they cause mischief throughout the time stream, which is exactly as much of a delight as it sounds. Szymanski pitches this game as a microshooter, meant to be played in a single sitting, which is a surprisingly refreshing pitch in a market that seems to favor 50 hour open-world epics.
The story in the game is all delivered via level intro screens, but they go a long way in establishing exactly what you’re getting into. You’re told that you broke into a museum and opened a dusty old box in the basement and inadvertently released the Chop Goblins, who immediately get ahold of a time traveling artifact and start wreaking havoc. While it seems like it could be just a small background element, this whimsical story colors every aspect of the game, from weapons to levels to one of the most fun depictions of Dracula I’ve ever run across. The five levels range from city streets to gothic castles to ancient Greece, packing a lot of variety into the short runtime.
While five doesn’t sound like a lot of levels, each of them is created with a great deal of care. Not only are they lovingly rendered in elegantly low-fi Quake-style graphics, which Szymanski has used for his other games, they are also densely packed with hidden areas and multiple routes to progress through. Each level is littered with Chop Coins that give the player points, and scouring the area to find as many as possible will help you climb the game’s built-in leaderboards. There were a few times that I got turned around in some of the more maze-like sections, but for the most part everything in the world is well signposted so you always know where you’re going and where possible secrets might be hidden. It should be noted that the levels don’t have checkpoints within them, but they’re each brief enough that it’s not frustrating to have to start over upon dying.
Chop Goblins is a shooter, so all the good level design in the world would be meaningless if the shooting doesn’t work, and I’m happy to say that it feels snappy and satisfying. There are only five weapons in the game, but they each fulfill their own purpose and have great feedback to them. Since the game takes place in various time periods, the weapons vary wildly, from a single shot flintlock pistol to a magic wand to the epic rapid-fire stake gun. Szymanski also smartly limits the amount of ammo you can hold for each weapon, forcing you to swap weapons frequently and hunt for ammo to stay afloat. Juggling weapons is super satisfying. There’s nothing like taking a long range pistol shot to blow up a gas can near a group of goblins, then switching to an automatic shotgun to mow down the survivors as they descend on you.
The Chop Goblins themselves are also well crafted and bring the whole package together. Their huge heads and exaggerated grin are immediately iconic, and each of the variants are visually distinct enough that you can read their behavior at a glance to prioritize your targets. They don’t have complicated behaviors or use any sort of pack tactics, but there’s still enough moment to moment choices to be made in a firefight when you’re balancing melee vs ranged enemies.
Their voice lines are also pitch perfect, making every battle a perfect combination of mechanical tension and laugh out loud humor.
Szymanski is having a hell of a year. Not only did he release Iron Lung, a short-form exercise in tension, in March, he also worked on the excellent immersive sim Gloomwood, which released in Early Access in September. With Chop Goblins, Szymanski has officially gone three for three in 2022. Chop Goblins is a delightfully whimsical arcade-like experience that’s a perfect time killer. The extra difficulty modes, competitive leaderboards, and hour runtime gives you plenty of reasons to come back.
Like a well-worn VHS copy of a favorite late night B-movie, Chop Goblins is something I’ll return to anytime I need a quick experience that puts a smile on my face.
Reviews
‘Above & Below’ Review: Antonio Banderas Steals the Show in This Bloody Shark Thriller
Killer shark movies seem to be riding high this year, more in quantity than quality, but still – they’re one of the most ubiquitous subgenres in horror right now. The latest entry comes from Jesse V. Johnson, an established action director dipping his toe into the realm of animal attack cinema for the first time (despite what the titles of his films Savage Dog and White Elephant might suggest). Above & Below features some very hungry sharks alongside a substantial body count, but it’s some very bad men who rack up most of the kills.
A group of friends is enjoying a fun vacation in Mexico when the screw-up of the bunch, Kyle (Diego Llinas), brings them an offer they can’t refuse. They’re being treated to an exclusive cage diving trip on a big, beautiful, luxury power catamaran with a guarantee of seeing some sharks up close. Kyle’s sister, Tatiana (Laura Marano), is hesitant, but she’s overruled by her boyfriend TJ (Donncha Tynan), and their couple friends, Kayle (Christina Ochoa) and Danny (Ryan Bertroche).
Should be fun, why not, what could go wrong, and so on, but then a pair of quiet heavies (Louis Mandylor, Jess Liaudin) with matching Louis Vuitton bags join the passenger list. And then another boat joins them at sea, and three armed men (including a terrifically entertaining Antonio Banderas) climb aboard. And then those hungry sharks aren’t hungry for long.
Like the recent Dangerous Animals and The Bay, Johnson’s Above & Below takes the wise tact of casting its sharks as an underlying threat instead of the main obstacle. They’re both dangerous and deadly when encountered, but the film blends its genre conventions to zero in on mad, greedy, and murderous humans as the true antagonists. It’s a good thing, too, as the actors bringing those villains to life give the film’s best, most engaging performances.

Writer Anthony Steven Giordano doesn’t give this group of friends much to work with – Kyle is a troublemaker, and Tatiana is planning to break up with TJ, but there’s otherwise very little at play between them in regard to drama or depth. The performances, while mostly competent, match that level of detail, and it’s instead the bad guys who find the most to play with as both characters and performers.
Mandylor carries the familiar but fun bulldog persona he’s mastered through a few earlier films with Johnson (including The Debt Collector and its sequel), and his Martin is the villainous loose cannon equivalent of Kyle’s less harmful but more obnoxious pain in the ass. It’s Kyle’s mistake that lands his friends on this boat, but it’s Martin’s error in judgment that signs nearly everyone’s death warrant. Liaudin has the less showier role of the pair as Garrison, but there’s a charismatic gentility about him running in interesting contrast to his muscular frame and cauliflower ears.
It’s Banderas’ Carlos, though, who steals the show in Above & Below and makes it clear why it’s often worth bringing a name talent into the mix for these direct-to-video genre pictures. (That said, they probably should have bumped his paycheck a little bit higher so they didn’t have to use painfully obvious stand-ins when his character is filmed from behind.) He plays the film’s big bad with a joyous sense of life that he can turn on a dime into abject cruelty. It’s fun to watch, and it adds an entertaining bit of craziness into some otherwise serious and occasionally meandering beats.
Less successful, and the film’s biggest issue on the performance front, is Marano’s efforts, particularly when Tatiana’s talking underwater. The SCUBA helmets are wired so divers can talk to each other, and while the scenes are actually shot underwater (and look good as a result), the dialogue performances were clearly recorded later. Nothing wrong with that in theory, but Marano’s recording booth performance never matches or even approaches the intensity of the underwater scenes she’s voicing – bodies are falling around her, sharks are taking bites, and she sounds like she’s lounging in the bathtub on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It doesn’t get much more convincing once she’s back topside, but the script is equally to blame on that count.

Still, flat performance aside, Johnson knows how to craft thrills and suspense infused with character and even the smallest of action beats. Part of the film sees criminal threats on board the boat and shark dangers below, and he cuts between them while rarely losing their sense of tension. The script also succeeds at keeping viewers guessing as to who will survive the excursion, and that’s no small feat for these kinds of films.
While stunts and squibs keep things somewhat lively above the water, Johnson and friends find some solid set pieces below the surface too. The sharks are CG creations, but they look pretty good – it’s really only the CG blood that screams “fake!” every time it appears – and deliver minor thrills as they glide out of the shadows to take a bite or do a quick drive-by. Characters are in a shark cage that’s been dropped to the ocean floor, and as their air tanks run low, they’re forced to exit the cage and retrieve air from the dead, leading to some fun interactions with chewed-upon dummy corpses. One encounter involving Tatiana, Martin, and a Great White shark is a real high point of creativity and execution.
The film is set in Mexico but filmed in Bulgaria and the Canary Islands. Land sequences are limited enough that you probably won’t even notice, and the bulk of the film is convincing with its offshore setting. Similarly, the underwater filming – presumably in a tank – adds an additional layer to the illusion so that you feel the dangerous isolation of it all.
At the end of the day, it’s Johnson’s direction and the performances by Banderas, Mandylor, and Liaudin that might make Above & Below worth your time. The script teases a recurrent theme about the dangerous outcome of keeping secrets, but as with the characters and anything resembling logic, it ultimately does nothing with it. Johnson and his bad guys fight to keep it all afloat, but a better script could have given them even more to work with. Of course, no one comes to these movies for the script anyway, but you’ll still wish there was far more meat on its bones.
Above & Below swims into select theaters today, July 29.






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