What a year, what a year. While everyone else includes DVDs in their best and worst lists, I solely focus on films that hit theaters. While compiling my lists, I couldn’t believe how hard it was to pick ten films that I felt were worth even mentioning as “the best”. While I barely succeeded, the worst list was much easier, which was pretty disappointing from my standpoint. That means this was a lousy year for horror and that the majority of horror films released were bad. Looking forward to 2009, I can’t say I expect anything different next year, but one can only hope… beyond the break you can check out my list of the worst horror films of 2008. Don’t forget you can chime in with your own lists and thoughts below, or write your own reviews in our MoviePit.
“The real problem is that there’s absolutely nothing original here and it’s obvious they tried to take what works and recycle it. It lacks suspense …” Click here for the full review.
“But here’s the real shocker, the statement that will blow all of your minds… this is one movie that you will be hoping for a twist ending! When there’s nothing happening for 90-minutes (other than some random deaths), all you can hope for is a finale that sends you out of the theater smiling, instead you’ll walk out perplexed as to what you have just witnessed, which is Shyamalan failing to deliver once again. What’s that I hear? Sounds like the the wind is telling me I should have avoided this one…” Click here for the full review.
“Aja attempts to take a slow-burning ghost story and turn it into one of his over-the-top gorefests and loses the essence of the story in his endeavors… before wasting any money on this at theaters, you should probably reflect on it a bit…“ Click here for the full review.
“SAW V attempts to make the audience feel smart for sticking along for so long, only when it’s all said and done you’ll feel like a fool for sitting through this disappointment.” Click here for the full review.
“While [Rob Cohen] definitely has delivered another hit for the studio, it’s unforgivable how dumbed-down the final product is… The best way to describe this latest MUMMY entry would be to compare the audience to a cat and the film to a ball of yard. Writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar treat the audience as a simple cat with a small brain – stupid enough that a ball of yard will amuse them for hours.” Click here for the full review.
I’m still shocked that there are people that liked this movie. During my horrible experience in the theater, I took the time to write down each and every scare in the movie. There were 12 altogether, three of them were mirror scares (read about it here)! While the movie started out pretty good, it falls flat on its face. Yes, I understand the movie was made for 13-year-olds, but it’s not even a good movie for kids. If you want to see a studio butchered, half-assed remake, check this out.
“The original was a rip-off and it rocked, so there’s no reason for the remake to suck as bad as it did. SHUTTER should have been the scariest horror film since THE RING, but instead it was infuriatingly bad. This joins ONE MISSED CALL in the ranks of worst horror remakes of all-time and I highly recommend skipping this one in favor of the original, which is now available on DVD from Tartan Extreme.” Click here for the full review.
It has been nearly a year since I’ve seen this remake of the quasi-interesting Takashi Miike film of the same name. When the original is so disappointing, then I’m fully game for a remake – if and only if it’s better. What I remember is a film that had zero scares and loads of crappy special effects, alongside horrid acting from Ed Burns. I do recall having fun laughing at the movie, so maybe there are some redeemable values?
“X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE is a slow burn, but the fire never catches on. It’s all talk, no action and is guaranteed to leave the audience with the worst case of blue balls they’ve had in years. Here’s an explanation; basically there is no climax – and that is meant both literally and figuratively.“ Click here for the full review.
“Completing Roadside Attractions’ HOUSE was physically draining, which is something a viewer should never have to endure when in theaters. The adaptation of the novel by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker is preachy, whiney and painfully cliché.” Click here for the full review.
“ANIMALS fails on every single level and left me in a state of shock. When it was all said and done I would have needed to fill an entire notebook to list all of the problems. I highly recommend watching this film only to witness what is one of the single worst horror movies ever made. Although difficult to make it from start to finish, it’s so bad that it actually becomes captivating.” Click here for the full review.
I’d like to give a special shout-out to this year’s laundry list of sh*tty direct-to-DVD sequels. I’m sorry, but Feast II: Sloppy Seconds is a disaster of a film that features horrible special FX, green screen work and carries zero laughs. The movie turned out nothing like the screenplay, which was an anti-cliche delight. Gulager killed what could have been another cult film in the franchise (although I will give props to the giant penis on the midget). Speaking of Dimension Extreme, let’s thank them for two horrible sequels to PULSE, both of which look they were shot on a soundstage (the same as the ending of FEAST II?). And a very special thanks to both Fox Home Video and Warner Home Video for their horrid trucker sequels Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead and Rest Stop 2: Don’t Look Back. I would do anything to get three hours of my life back.
20th Century Fox, what the f*ck? Three horrible horror films? It’s time to take a look at your development team and ask, are they doing the right thing by horror fans? Are they tampering with the artists work too much? Only they know and only they can make amends in 2009.