[BEST & WORST '13 ] Lauren Taylor’s 5 Worst Films of 2013

best-and-worst-2013

How was I able to cut down the worst films of 2013 to this simple list of 5? Well, friends, it was extremely tough. I could have easily made this a list of 10…15…20. I want to reiterate that I personally believe that this year was extremely unkind in the horror department. Sure, we had some great movies this year as noted in my Best list. However, the abundance of bad movies was overwhelming for me, and interestingly enough, a lot of the big name films of the year ended up on my Worst list. Which ones?

Read on…

Mr. Disgusting (Best/Indie) | Evan Dickson (Best) | The Wolfman (Festival Favorites) | Patrick Cooper (Best)
Lonmonster (Best/Worst) | Lauren Taylor (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best Novels)
Best Posters | Best Performances | Best Trailers

LAUREN TAYLOR’S WORST 5 MOVIES OF 2013
5. Bad Meat (February 19; MVD)

Remember that scene in Spinal Tap when they read the review of the band’s album ‘Shark Sandwich’ – which simply says “Sh*t Sandwich”? Yep. I’d do that with this title if possible.

4. Frankenstein’s Army (September 10; Dark Sky Films)

What happens when someone looks at some great concept art and tells the artist they could make a movie about it – and they really don’t need to worry about a plot? That’s right! Frankenstein’s Army happens! It’s just ridiculous. I don’t even want to get into it…

3. Evil Dead (April 5; TriStar)


NO! JUST NO! If you feel the need to remake a movie, do yourself a favor – just write something original. Sure, it could have a lot of influence from the original piece, but when you title something the same and end up glamorizing it and losing any essence of the original, NO! Stop it. If you want to hear more of my thoughts on Evil Dead, check out this episode of BD’s News From the Crypt podcast. Evil Dead made a lot of money and a lot of you seem to have ‘Crystal Skull Syndrome’ regarding it. I feel very, very sorry for you.

2. Texas Chainsaw 3D (January 4; Lionsgate)


I’m obviously not a fan of remakes. While Texas Chainsaw 3D is not technically a remake, the fact that it tries to act as a sequel to the exquisite original makes me absolutely nauseous. Supposedly set 20 years after the first film, we somehow jump almost 40 and end up in the biggest steaming pile of kaka you could call a movie. (Ok, I’m taking this personally.) I don’t like retcon, I never have, and this movie does that – and so much more. It is blasphemous and all copies should be burned.

1. American Mary (May 31; XLrator Media)


I’m going to quote my own review on this. “Everything about American Mary is intentionally sculpted for the realm of horror where the writer/directors – the Soska Sisters – reside. It is a simple realm where style rules over plot. This means everything is on purpose – from title character Mary Mason’s black surgical gloves to the length of her bangs…American Mary only ever fully delivers on the visual of a hot chick (in that horror subculture where the girls have that stylized look) running around scantily clad and occasionally splattered in blood while people with body modifications get cut up. I think people see something different with this film simply because it was made by women. I don’t think there really is much beyond that.”

 
  • coldblood

    Are you fucking kidding me? American Mary is freaking amazing.

    • Lauren Taylor

      Then tell me, clearly and succinctly, what is amazing about it.

      Not what is good, or enjoyable, but what is “freaking amazing.”

      • coldblood

        Well, first of all – it had an original story line.

        Secondly, you were never sure if the lead character was someone to root for or someone to despise – kind of like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

        Third, the story ends in a logical yet still surprising way. Mary was finally done in as a result of her actions – but until the end you didn’t know which of her
        nasty deeds was going to come back on her.

        Fourth, there were a lot of great lines.

        Fifth, there was a lot of tension and creepiness throughout.

        Is this enough, because if you want I will watch it again so I can give so more specific details.

        • undertaker78

          Bam! You tell her. :)

        • joeshmo447

          I sooooo agree with coldblood, American Mary was a great movie! For Lauren to only focus on what the character was wearing and style says a lot about her, that she dosnt give a fuck about the plot or story at all, or the acting itself

        • Minted Lamb

          What’s AMAZING about any of this.

          These are all okay-to-generic plot ideas.

          There were some fun lines, sure, but it completely ran out of steam halfway. It’s just another rape/revenge movie underneath with nothing to say.

          Sure, it’s set in the body-mod community, which is a GREAT idea. A great idea which it does NOTHING with.

          But please, go back to your points and give specific details, I would like to be converted.

          I don’t think it’s the worst film of the year, but it’s still not very good.

          • dudesareawesome

            It’s a rape revenge movie that fully expects it’s audience to believe that a well-regarded professor regularly throws rape parties for his students to be raped and has never had any repercussions for it. You want a rape revenge movie? Fine. Make the situation for what the protagonist is rape-revenging for at least remotely plausible. Ms. 45 is a great example. I Spit on Your Grave is a FAR superior movie. The body mod shit is whatever but it felt like Hot Topic finally made a movie and turns out that’s as stupid as you’d think it would be. How are people pissing themselves for this total fucking bullshit?

      • Paul

        I agree, it really wasn’t anything special, and got me very bored. Plus you’re the first person who I’ve heard have the same opinion about the Evil Dead remake as me <3

      • James-Alan

        “Succinctly”! Looks like somebody got a thesaurus for Christmas.

        • Minted Lamb

          Are we to be mocked for basic literacy now? Is that where we are, horror community?

          • James-Alan

            Basic literacy? Yes.

            Advanced literacy, however, shall remain unscathed.

          • Minted Lamb

            I approve wholeheartedly of your retort, Mr. James-Alan.

            However, it will not allow me to reply, therefore I must reply to myself.

      • buddhaabdi

        Get back in the kitchen woman cause your list is fucking useless. Now I will for sure check out the one on the list that I have missed out on. Silly goose.

    • RubenVeritas

      Yet the Conjuring made it on multiple best list when that movie was the most generic unoriginal rip off ever created. This site is such a piece of shit and has really gone down.

      • thaphantom

        Dude RubenVeritas everyone knows by now you hated The Conjuring. Shut up already. Once was enough. It isn’t even on this list and you’re talking about it. Let it go. Nobody cares. You saying it was a piece of shit isn’t going to magically change anyone’s opinion about it. Find something to do… Lol

  • a1a006

    Thank You Lauren and LonMaster for giving us these worst lists! As you can tell I do not post much but I think I just needed to say from the standpoint of loyal reader that these need to be included and I am not sure why Mr. Disgusting hasn’t this year. Hell, I wouldn’t mind three entry’s from you MD! I really do anticipate what the staff call best and worst of the year to see what you guys …and girls think. American Mary had a charm to it I would definitely not agree with pitting it last place but I think it wouldn’t be in my top 10. Please reconsider for next year not submitting a worst list. This is a voice and it sure does keep those mf’ers honest.

    • djblack1313

      @a1a006, why would you ask the writers to NOT include a “worst list”? and what exactly do you mean by…

      “This is a voice and it sure does keep those mf’ers honest”?

      and while i respect your opinion, you are either Mr.D himself or you’re a friend or someone who wants a writing gig at BD. his “reviews” and the way he deliberately goes out of his way to piss of WALKING DEAD fans has caused most (it seems) to be less interested in his opinions. just sayin’.

      • coldblood

        You are absolutely right! The Walking Dead is one of the most popular shows on tv right now. It even has a show about the show.

        Then Mr D’s minion is here slamming American Mary. Worst of the year my ass!!!!

        • Minted Lamb

          The Kardashians are popular too. I guess that means we can’t have a problem with that now?

          Just because the Walking Dead is so popular doesn’t mean it’s above criticism. It’s not.

          It’s a good show, but one that is frustrating because it could be great. Instead, it’s full of problems. At least in my opinion anyway, so feel free to dismiss it. The problems, for me, are all with the writing, as it has a fantastic cast. Fix the writing and we could have a genuine classic, rather than just having Romero repackaged for the masses.

          “Oh, I just LOVE that Daryl!”

      • a1a006

        @djblack1313 Shoot, I meant for them to include one, a worst list! BD has a voice in the industry, a very loud and distinct voice. When directors, producers know there movie might hit those worst of the year lists I am sure there is panic. I am tempted to see Creature but after reading the reviews about it. I really do not want to waste an hour and a half of my life on crap. – I don’t love walking dead but I watch it, same goes for american horror story.

        • coldblood

          Thank you weird fucker for your thoughts.

  • firedog909

    Dead wrong on American Mary. Funny, disturbing, and yes, stylized. Not without some faults but far from worst. You are just trying to be sensational for comments sake.

    • Minted Lamb

      Or, God forbid, she actually didn’t like it. Crazy idea that, eh?

  • Kwonkicker

    Evil Dead kicked ass. Texas Chainsaw kicked ass. Enjoy it for what they were; gore filled popcorn flicks to simply let your mind rot and enjoy a good time. That’s all we could expect or want from this type of horror film, fuck anything else.

    • http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/ Zombie-Killa

      Agreed 100%, especially with Texas Chainsaw 3D.

      • Brandon

        Ummm yea, I actually created a profile for the sole purpose of asking you (or “Kwonkicker” if they feel like it) just exactly what it was about Texas Chainsaw 3D that you found watchable? I’m just really curious because I torrented it when it came out and I gotta be honest, it was the worst excuse for a horror film I’ve seen since 2006′s “Black Christmas”, and that’s saying a lot. I’m not trolling or anything, I just have to know…..please.

        • djblack1313

          Spoon (i know this wasn’t directed at me) but i found TC3D to be, for the most part, watchable/enjoyable. i HATED that the writers made Leatherface a protagonist and there’s the abomination of a line of dialogue…”DO YOUR THINK COUS”…lol. i like Alexandra Daddario and i liked the whole her being adopted and part of that clan deal too. the movie had pretty good atmosphere and i enjoyed the acting from most if not everyone in the movie. not an amazing movie by any means but not IMO the wreck many make it out to be.

          but then again, i LOVE the BLACK XMAS remake, so you may not even want to listen to me. lol. that movie was a cheesy, fun, wonderfully gory movie that has gorgeous cinematography, a great cast and very good atmosphere. i understand why many hate it but i loved it. lol.

          • djblack1313

            oops, i meant “…there’s the abomination of a line of dialogue…”DO YOUR THING COUS” (not “THINK”).

          • Spoon

            Hey man, by no means am I above a little cheesiness with(some)of my horror movies. Nobody loves slasher flicks from the 80′s more than me, but there is a definite line between cheese and that terrible crap made by people just out for a paycheck. It’s gotta have heart. By the way, I totally forgot about the “Do your thing, cuz.” line. Remembering that cracked me up man lol

        • Kwonkicker

          I enjoyed the mayhem, Leatherface revving up and going on a rampage. The minute I learned of the film I knew exactly what it was going to be. It wasn’t going to be a serious continuation. It was going to be a cheesy sequel focusing on tired clichés and gore, and I was perfectly ok with that. It wasn’t a perfect film, far from it but I enjoyed it.

        • http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/ Zombie-Killa

          Torrented? Lucky guy! I paid for it at the theaters…in 3D! lol.

          To elaborate, I’m not saying Texas Chainsaw 3D was a really good film. Mindless fun? Yeah, but FAR from a masterpiece. And to be honest, this will probably change when I see the movie again (I still haven’t bought the DVD. lol), but I actually enjoyed the 3D effects. They weren’t groundbreaking or anything like that, but they did the trick for me.

          I enjoyed the nasty kills, the cringing moments (including Leatherface making and sewing a new mask on to his face….ouch!), the nasty, bloody stuff, and some of the stupid moments made me laugh (the horror cliche of Daddario falling down, while running. lol). Although, I will say this. That scene at the carnival was a MASSIVE disappointment. That scene had so much potential for mayhem and chaos, but they took the easy way out, IMO.

          And I have to agree with djblack about making Leatherface a protagonist/anti-hero, because where are you going to go now? Common sense tells me Leatherface turns on Daddario’s character by murdering her, because you know, he’s LEATHERFACE, a mentally unstable killing machine. At first, Leatherface being a protagonist looks like a shocking twist, but when you consider all the possibilities, it’s almost impossible to not run into a series of counterproductive roadblocks.

    • Minted Lamb

      TCM pissed me off. I liked the main idea – the townsfolk being the villains. It was a switcharound you could only really do with Leatherface as there’s always been a bit of sympathy with his character.

      I just felt it was half-assed beyond that concept. I mean, the film had Leatherface at a fucking carnival. AT A CARNIVAL! This should have been amazing – full of chaos, carnage and mayhem.

      But they got him there and instead had him run around in a very PG way without anything worthwhile happening.

      It was a missed opportunity. I liked Daddario – thought she made a good lead in sipte of the dodgy stuff she had to say.

      “Cuz.”

  • undertaker78

    This is a TERRIBLE list. Evil Dead was a good remake, TCM was above decent and American Mary was deliciously sexy and oh so wrong. I haven’t seen the other two but at this point I may give them a shot based on your other reviews.

    • Minted Lamb

      “deliciously sexy and oh so wrong”

      What does this flowery prose EVEN mean? This is the sort of stuff that would be planted in the hope it can smear the film’s poster, like the semen trail of a dribbling fanboy.

      “Oh… so… wrong…”

  • BernFink

    Glad I’m not the only one who didn’t drink the Kool-Aid on the EVIL DEAD remake and AMERICAN MARY.

  • http://mitchmacready.blogspot.com/ Zombie-Killa

    I wouldn’t put American Mary #1 on my list, and I enjoyed the movie, but yeah, the cult following praise is kind of annoying. Reading some other posts and comments, you would think American Mary is some unknown classic, that’ll be remembered as a masterpiece a 100 years later. Come on now, it’s not THAT good.

  • Kaz

    American Mary sucked. It was all “look how cool and edgy we are” style with no substance. Even so, if it had truly delivered an ultra grotesque and obscenely sexy movie, it would have at least lived up to its hype. But that didn’t happen. And while I’m on it…what happened with the subplot of the bar owner who was becoming obsessed with her but also scared of her? That went exactly nowhere before being dropped. And then of course the end being completely out of nowhere with a character that had not been developed and vague reasons why the end was even happening. It’s like they had an idea that they thought would make people think they were cool, but were too timid to take the film where it needed to go…and then didn’t bother developing a story or characters that made sense. Oh, and the Soska twins should never try to act again.

    However, there were worse films…The Demented (which couldn’t even get basic editing stuff right…one zombie crashed through the same window twice), The Amazing Adventures of the Living Corpse, Lords of Salem (shame on Rob Zombie for not even getting basic details of the music/radio business right), Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan and some others…

  • djblack1313

    Lauren, you’re a very cool woman and i always enjoy reading your articles but this list…..this list. i completely respect your opinion but i loved EVIL DEAD, i thought TC3D was just ok (making Leatherface the hero of the movie was dumb) and i really REALLY enjoyed AMERICAN MARY (i didn’t even know it was directed by a woman when i watched it).

  • lucscs100

    The Evil Dead remake was an awesome gory wild ride that lived up to the original, while TC3D was a fan pleaser above average and American Mary was a very nice try, so NO.

  • evilfairydust

    So you think American Mary is overrated…okay, I can respect that. But really…WORST horror film of the entire year?? Come on. I totally agree with TCM, though.

  • Kroork

    The second I saw evil dead on this list was crap. Evil dead was my favorite movie OF ALL TIME!

    • Canucklehead

      You need to see more movies then.

      • Kroork

        Nope I just have an opinion that differs from your and that’s ok.

        • divisionbell

          I agree with the entire list except Evil Dead. The movie was excellent and those who claim the original is superior are full of it. The original was good but the remake was just as excellent, if not better.

  • Danz

    As much as I liked your Best of the year list, this one is really not for me. American Mary is good, not great as many people think, but if you consider this the worst of the year, you seriously need to watch more horror movies. About Evil Dead I’ll not even comment, it’s basically a case of love it or hate it and everybody who hates it does so because of an alleged love for the original movie and that’s it. About Frankenstein’s Army, one could say the only good thing about that one is the creature design, but I believe this is enough to give it a better rating, a concept like this is more than most movies. Bad Meat I haven’t seen yet but I’m with you about Texas Chainsaw, that one is terrible, especially when you realize the protagonist is 40 years old.

    • djblack1313

      @Danz, the problem IMO TC3D wasn’t about the age of Leatherface it’s the fact that the writers made him the protagonist (that and the unforgivable, cringe-inducing line….”DO YOUR THINK COUS”). lol. what does his age have to do with anything (not being argumentative, i’m just curious).

      • Danz

        No, I’m talking about the girl, she is the baby that scaped from the massacre of the Sawyer family at the beggining isn’t she? So she is 40! And I only mentioned that as a fun fact, the movie is bad because everything, from making one of the most vicious killer of movie history a pussy, the cgi gore, the shitty characters, situations, everything.

        • djblack1313

          @Danz, that’s right!! i totally forgot that her age (in the storyline as they wrote it) was really off. i agree w/ you. they didn’t even try to explain that.

      • Skull-And-Crossbones

        @djblack1313

        i really wanted to like texas chainsaw 3D but every time i tried to find any reason to like it that quote and that moment in the movie would pop into my head and kill off any hope that i had for liking the movie. honestly, i wanted to punch MYSELF in the face when i saw/heard that haha.

        • djblack1313

          @Skull-And-Crossbones, LOL! right?! that fucking god awful line of dialogue!! my heart breaks for Alexandra Daddario for having to say that line. NO PERSON on the face of the planet (i don’t care if they are the best actress/actor of all time) can make “DO YOUR THING COUS” sound good! LOL.

          • Minted Lamb

            Cous-Cous!

    • Danz

      And seriously, how can you criticize ‘American Mary’ by simple saying “it has no plot” and yet consider ‘The Battery’ one of the best of the year?

  • Canucklehead

    There was definitely a logical approach taken here…

    Evil Dead….Unnecessary remake
    Frankenstein’s Army….Needed a bigger budget…and a script
    Texas Chainsaw….See Evil Dead
    American Mary….I kinda liked even though it was an incoherent mess

    Excellent work Lauren

  • Golic

    A film should always be judged on it’s own merits, and not just thrown into a “worst of” list simply because it was a remake. And if you feel so strongly against remakes, maybe you shouldn’t have put ‘Maniac’ in your “best of” list. LMFAO!!

    • Minted Lamb

      I liked how you used LMFAO!! to celebrate your insight.

      LULZ!

  • DBZEROGRAVITY

    i’d almost say you didn’t watch much horror this year but we both know that isn’t true. simply put, you have an opinion… and we don’t see eye to eye on movies. I though 1-3 were some of the better flicks this year (especially with evil dead being my #2 best of 2013)

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    i thought american mary was decent. maybe because i had such low expectations for it considering that it was being made by the same 2 people that made Dead Hooker In a Trunk.

    Texas Chainsaw was dumb IMO. i had very high expectations for this considering how much i loved the remake and The Beginning which let me to believe that it would be almost impossible to fuck this one up. oops. i woulda been happy with just more of the same with a few new inventive kills but they decided to take risks in all the wrong places

  • markajacoby

    Glad to see someone who didn’t bow down before the altar of Evil Dead. Give me the original ANY day of the week. The remake lacked the sheer joy of the first one. However, you could not be more wrong on American Mary. LOVED that movie. Twisted, demented, and truly original. Give me that over the endless line of pathetic remakes any day. But to each their own…. That’s why this country’s so great. We can disagree and all have our opinion!

  • anthonyd1

    Evil Dead was awesome and Texas Chainsaw was dumb fun and thats all I wanted from it. They both don’t deserve to be on this list

  • CTHL

    So many things wrong with this list to me…

    Bad Meat was released like 2 years ago (after more thorough study, I found it was released in the US this year… despite me having seen it early last year here). It was bad though, I’ll give you that.

    I actually REALLY liked Evil Dead (except the ending), American Mary was decent enough, and I feel Frankenstein’s Army was the most underappreciated movie of the year.

    Now, Texas Chainsaw, I’ll give you. I found it entertaining, if only for eyecandy, but it was horribly stupid in every respect.

    My list wouldn’t have gone over any better though (Insidious 2 and maybe even Conjuring would’ve made it, along with more “reasonable” choices like Sharknado, etc), so live and let live :P.

  • dudesareawesome

    I can’t think of a single horror film I hated more this year than American Mary and I was thrilled to see someone finally call it out as the piece of shit it is. The praise for it is absolutely baffling.

    So wait. Let me get this right. There is a group of college professors that have a history of inviting their students to rape parties? For real? How long has this been going on? No one has ever said anything like “my teacher invited me to a rape party and raped me” to ANYONE EVER? That entire plot line is RIFUCKINGDICULOUS. And that professor character, man, he sure liked to say fuck a lot. Actually, everyone really liked to say and really put emphasis on the word “fuck” a whole bunch. Like a teenager that has no grasp on the fact that an overuse of swearing makes you sound like a total dipshit.

    Oh and don’t even get me started on the scene where Mary learns her Grandma dies, which is conveyed with a closeup of her cellphone while she clumsily deletes her contact. Or the attack scene at the end that came out of nowhere. That’s the big climactic battle in this? The doll lady’s husband? There was no buildup to that, whatsoever. If you have to flash back for a second for your audience to understand who’s attacking your main character in the final scene in your movie, you fucked up. That’s such a good representation of how poorly put together this movie is. I want to like The Soska Sisters but they can’t even come close to telling a coherent story. It feels like they’d be like: “Oooh! Wouldn’t it be cool if…?” but never bothered to think of things like what, when, why, how.

    • djblack1313

      so dudesareawesome, what pray tell do you consider a good movie? i can’t wait for your answer. it’s easy to bash a film or someone’s taste but by all means allow us to see what you consider a “good” movie.

  • dudesareawesome

    My top ten movies this year were something like: The Act of Killing, Maniac, Lesson of the Evil, Stoker, Alyce Kills, A Band Called Death, Escape From Tomorrow, Spring Breakers, Wrong and The World’s End.

    Specifically horror, I really enjoyed: We Are What We Are, Antiviral, The Taint, Bad Milo, Frankenstein’s Army, Evil Dead, The Conjuring, Insidious 2, You’re Next, VHS 2, John Dies at the End, ABC’s of Death, Grabbers, Berberian Sound Studio, Resolution, 100 Bloody Acres, Stitches, Wither, The Rambler and Saturday Morning Mystery.

    I’m not sure what that proves, although I have a sneaking suspicion your request was an attempt to bait me in hopes that I would post something you disagree with only for you to tear me apart and only because I not only didn’t like a movie you liked, I gave a very thorough and well-thought out list of reasons why.

    I didn’t insult anyone’s taste and I opted to take time and give clear reasons why I didn’t like the fucking thing. A more interesting conversation would be if you would had considered my points and offered counter-arguments and reasons why you felt my analysis of American Mary was incorrect. Maybe you could have made me see the movie in a different light. But that’s very clearly not your aim here. Now you get to enjoy telling me I’m stupid for liking a movie you didn’t! Have fun!

    • DBZEROGRAVITY

      spring breakers… no offense but its definitely in my top 20 worst movies of all fucking time list

  • ThunderDragoon

    Evil Dead was fucking amazing. So tired of these purists bashing it just because it’s a remake. I understand not liking it, but to have it on a “Worst of” list is a joke. Like I’ve always said about remakes, don’t go into one if you’re just going to compare it to the original. You’re just wasting your time if you do that.

  • dudesareawesome

    I just noticed you enjoyed the Black Christmas remake and I’m feeling an incredible amount of regret for wasting my time typing out all of those movie titles for you.

    • djblack1313

      @dudesareawesome, i feel so bad for you. you must have really hurt your fingers typing out all those movie titles just for little ole me. i feel so special.

      and no i’m not going to tear apart your choices. i don’t agree w/ some of them at all but that’s ok, we all can’t like the same things. next time try being more grown up about things like this.

      • dudesareawesome

        So you have no interest in discussion. Just ignoring all points made by someone. Got it.

        • djblack1313

          @dudesareawesome, follow your own advice. you wrote me off because yes, i enjoy BLACK XMAS. and i quote…

          “I just noticed you enjoyed the Black Christmas remake and I’m feeling an incredible amount of regret for wasting my time typing out all of those movie titles for you.”

          got it.

  • Julian Nunez

    I understand how someone can hate EVIL DEAD. I enjoyed it for the most part but it seriously had awful dialouge and probably the most awkward character introductions i’ve seen which is more apparent after a second viewing. Plus the intro wasn’t the best, imo.

  • bradley1000

    I laugh at people who rave about american Mary , no , laugh in their faces.It is such an emperors new ball sacks of a movie.It is limp and flaccid where it believes it’s self to be brash and daring .It is insipid and uninspiring when it thinks it’s being edgy. Over hyped films of this ilk are often found on these types of lists.In this case It’s a reaction against it’s far to sanitized bleached asshole being over-licked by desperate fan boys with a twins fixation , wearing jizz stained feminism blinkers.

    • djblack1313

      @bradley1000, ummmm, sure. we believe you actually walk right up into someone’s face and laugh at them for liking a movie you didn’t. um, ok.

      • Minted Lamb

        I genuinely hope he does. Especially randoms on the street.

        That would make for a terrifying movie.

    • Minted Lamb

      I read a review of American Mary where the writer DARED to suggest that the Soska Twins are far more well-known for being the Soska Twins (and everything that entails), more than for their actual output.

      It’s important here to point out two things:

      1) The reviewer actually liked American Mary

      2) He wasn’t criticizing them for their popularity, merely making a comment on it.

      So, one of the Soskas read this review and posted it on her Facebook, disagreeing vehemently with this. And, true to form, several thousand moronic fanboys jumped up to say:

      “Fuck that guy! We love you because of the shit yooz do! Fuck yeah! Soskas rule!”

      Meanwhile, here are another several thousand photos of them being sexy in their tight dresses and little sausage legs while being covered in blood.

      Now, I’m not even gonna criticize that. They are a marketing man’s dream, and that’s cool – they’ve embraced the gimmick of that, so why pretend otherwise? Nothing wrong with using it, but the hypocrisy is a bit much.

      I’ll still watch their next film though. I just hope it’s way better than American Mary.

  • jackcarlin18

    This list is beyond ridiculous! Firstly, you can safely rate Evil Dead, American Mary and Texas Chainsaw (on some very minor level) the worst films of 2013, when you can go ahead and rate Insidious Chapter 2 top of 2013?! What the fuck!! Clearly, you have not seen such trash as ‘Beneath’, ‘Dark Feed’ or even ‘The Last Exorcism Part 2′ because they hit the bottom of worst films of the year without a doubt.

    Personally I think BD is trying to be different for the sake of it, trying to get their opinion known for slamming good films and shows (The Walking Dead for example which Brad ridicules every time with his completely dumb pointers that make none to little sense). This list was all wrong, and personally your taste in horror film is juvenile. Rant over.

  • Mayday

    If these are your worst of the worst you must have watched, like, 12 movies all year. And your brash statement 2013 was very unkind to horror cements my theory. There were lots of good horror flicks to offset the numerous bad ones.

  • A-Devils-Reject

    I understand the hate for Evil Dead, even though I liked it, but your stance on remakes doesnt make much sense. You come off as having a blanket hatred of all remakes, which would be annoying but understandable, but then Maniac is your #1 movie. I dont get why you despise Evil Dead and TC3D for being remakes then absolutely love Maniac when you supposedly dislike remakes so much. Whether a movie is a remake shouldn’t go into the equation of being best of the year or not, just simply if they were good movies.

    • joeshmo447

      Exactly..some people see remake and they put on blinders the whole movie. They don’t watch it to see if it’s good, they watch to compare it to the original , which is called just being a hater because there is a thing as liking both don’t feel like you have to choose sides just enjoy it as a good horror movie !

      • Minted Lamb

        I don’t dislike the idea of remakes – I just wish they were more ambitious, rather than giving you the exact same thing, only not as good.

  • deadsnow07

    Welp, definitely never listening to this joker’s opinions on movies.

    • Minted Lamb

      Well, text is meant for reading, not listening to. You’d look rather strange with your ear pressed against the screen.

      Then again…

  • joe666

    American Mary??? Your worst movie? Have we seen the same movie?

    • Minted Lamb

      Yes.

  • James-Alan

    Every time I read one of Lauren Taylor’s pieces, all I see is: “No. No, no. No. No, no, no.” (Sometimes she likes to spice it up by adding the word “just” in there.)

  • CHROMExSKULL

    Evil Dead was fantastic and one of my favorite movies this year. Texas Chainsaw was complete crap. I have been wanting to see American Mary, I see that and Maniac are streaming on Netflix so I need to start that up again soon.

  • Minted Lamb

    I didn’t think Evil Dead was a bad film, but it left me with absolutely nothing. I’d more or less forgotten about it ten minutes later, and that shouldn’t happen.

    Maniac, now, THAT was an awesome remake…

    • dr.lamb

      See my comment below, felt the same. Nice username, btw :-)

      • Minted Lamb

        I salute you, brother in Baby Sheep!

  • dr.lamb

    Biggest problem about evil dead ? It assumed that everyone has seen the original. There was no real ominous build-up or something. It felt like the makers said to us “you know where this is going, let’s get it over with !” It had enough gore and stuff to entertain me, but good it was not. The supernatural elements never felt convincing, it was more like torture porn. Too bad, because the beginning was killer. In the end it was not good or bad, just “there”.

    • Minted Lamb

      Completely.

      It was one of those films that did exactly what it was expected to do, and absolutely nothing more. It felt soulless and completely uninvolving.

      A case of the trailer being all you need to see, as the film itself offered nothing more.

  • a1a006

    American Mary was definitely better than ‘the purge’, which had a great premise but just could not deliver. I was so disappointed in that one. You could make a case that it may have even been better than Insidious 2. After catching the first one a few months before the sequel came out and being very impressed by it the 2nd was a big let down. ‘You’re Next’ didn’t really get my attention either although the ending was good. It’s almost offensive to see billed as “A NEW HORROR CLASSIC!” in the promo from paper magazine. I am even debating whether I would rank AM higher than it. Maybe I built it up in my head after having to wait so long to see it. Didn’t MD have it on his top list 2 years ago, lol.

    • Minted Lamb

      Good point on The Purge.

      The actual premise was great, but it was just an excuse to deliver another same-old home invasion flick.

  • tbaio

    Wow, the only 2 movies I saw from this list, Evil Dead & Chainsaw 3-D, I thought were entertaining as all hell. Oh, well.

  • AndrewSoukup24

    Texas Chainsaw 3D was terrible and a huge let down and the only other film on here I seen was Evil Dead and I completely disagree with you…it was a great film.

  • DilvishW

    I don’t think “American Mary” was the worst horror film of the year, but it was one of the most disappointing. For one thing, I was really looking forward to seeing Katherine Isabelle again and, to be fair, she does a great job. And, while “Dead Hooker in a Truck” was a complete mess, it did show some promise. I thought maybe all the Soskas needed was a bigger budget and better actors. Well, American Mary was a slight improvement and, like “Dead Hooker”, it shows the Soskas have a great eye for interesting and original horror visuals. Unfortunately, they just don’t know how to put a story together. The whole thing runs out of steam and falls apart about half-way through. It was a good idea, but they should have let a more competent writer help them craft the story. I still have some hope for them. But they’ve only got one more strike before I’m done. And their next film is a sequel to See No Evil…so…things don’t look so good.

  • cjames

    I agree about American Mary. Finally somebody that wrote a review that didn’t like it. And one guy saying its original? Obviously you don’t watch a lot of horror revenge films. This film was similar to I Spit on your Grave, Fair Game and countless others. I mean really, surgeons raping women. These are doctors. Found the story to be ridiculous. If some liked it thats cool. Your choice. But think its overrated.

  • dudesareawesome

    I’d like to add that djblack is a total cunt and if he is from the united states and not a toddler – pre-adolescent, then he probably hates fags and blacks and women.

  • Brabiz

    I actually really enjoyed Evil Dead, although The Evil Dead was, and is far superior due to it’s cast, charm, and originality; Evil Dead was a fun little gore flick, albeit not scary at all, it was still fun and had a great score,some sick practical effects, even if it lacked depth, I didn’t find it all that bad.

  • oneofthosedeadfckers

    I heard nothing but good things about American Mary and then I watched it. Blech, it was horrible. The writing was contrived, the overall plot was horrendously stupid (med school professors gang raping students, the tenuous at best connection to the body mod scene). It had style but not much else.
    I think the Evil Dead remake did what it set out to do, which was make a true horror version of the original story. I really liked it and think it stands as a nice contrast to the original.

  • Prof.-Lumpcicle

    I hated Evil Dead. Soggy, twitching pale figures is sooo 2004.