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‘Five Nights at Freddy’s Fans Are Harassing a Pizzeria
Today, I learned the difference between the average, run-of-the-mill video game conspiracy theorist — like the numerous fans who spent an inordinate amount of time investigating the freshly canned Silent Hills — and whatever it is that we should be calling the most diehard of diehard fans who worship the Five Nights at Freddy’s games.
They’re each comprised of the same ingredients, such as a passion for a certain topic and an alarming amount of free time with which to obsess over it, but the difference comes in the amount of crazy that’s involved. The amount of crazy the latter group demonstrated this week reached a new high, or low, depending on how you look at it, as countless Five Nights fans decided it’d be a good idea to use some random numbers to justify harassing a pizzeria in Virginia.
It all started when some fans noticed the numbers 7 and 8 were all over the HTML code in Five Nights creator Scott Cawthon’s website. Employing the magic of conspiracy logic, this entirely random fact was magically transformed into Google Map coordinates which pointed to one of this country’s seemingly infinite number of pizza joints.
A random review on the pizzeria’s Google Plus page that mentioned robots killing a kid is all these people needed to launch a full assault on the unsuspecting restaurant, which included inundating them with phone calls. This got bad enough that Cawthon had to ask them to stop being weird and crazy, and Reddit has since taken the initiative in deleting posts that mention the pizzeria, as well as banning repeat offenders.
Clearly, this restaurant has nothing to do with the recently unveiled Five Nights at Freddy’s 4. It’s why I’m not mentioning the name of the pizzeria, because while I’ve always trusted you to be a relatively sane individual, I’m not as sure about that guy.
“She’s mine, and I’m hers.”
The prison movie is a cornerstone of the cinematic landscape. Often adjacent to horror, there’s something inherently horrific about a building full of “convicts” jockeying for power. Criminal masterminds and the wrongfully convicted alike become pawns in a dehumanizing system and struggle to stay alive in the restrictive environment. Claire Denis pushes this genre to its outer limits with sci-fi and horror elements comparing incarceration to the prison of the human body. Her 2018 film High Life follows a group of prisoners turned astronauts who struggle to retain their humanity after the world has cast them out.
When we first meet Monte (Robert Pattinson), he’s raising a toddler on an isolated space station in the galaxy’s outer reaches. His daughter Willow was conceived through assault by fellow inmate Dr. Dibs (Juliette Binoche) as a part of her mission to reproduce in space. As Denis unpacks the story of this troubled crew, they slowly realize they have been discarded and forgotten. Some find freedom to enact their violent agendas while others try to retain a semblance of normalcy in the extreme environment. Essentially guinea pigs, Monte and his crewmates hurtle through space and grope for a reason to keep existing.
The Lady Killers continue Killer Moms Month with Claire Denis’ beautifully complex film. Co-hosts Jenn Adams, Mae Shults, Rocco T. Thompson, and Sammie Kuykendall chart the mysteries of the cosmos in their quest to understand the glacial plot. They’ll chat about screaming babies, space gardens, black holes and spaghetti along with heavier themes like reproduction and bodily autonomy. Why is Dr. Dibbs so obsessed with pregnancy? Why doesn’t Monte partake of the sex box? Does Mia Goth actually have a big booty and what really happened on that spaceship filled with dogs? They’ll approach the black hole and try to withstand spaghettification while zeroing in on the unpleasant themes of this exceptional film.
Stream below and subscribe now via Apple Podcasts and Spotify for future episodes that drop every Thursday.
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