Suck (V)

Read Tim Anderson’s review:

Coming off obvious inspiration of rock ‘n roll horror classics such as Trick or Treat, Black Roses, among others, Rob Stefaniuk’s Suck is about a generic as you can get, but still finds a way to be entertaining.

Suck is a rock ‘n roll vampire comedy about a group of musical wannabees in search of immortality and a record deal. The rock band The Winners have sunk so low, they will do anything to make it big. At one of their gigs, their super hot bassist Jennifer (Jessica Pare) leaves with a creepy looking dude who is obviously a vampire. She shows up late to the next show “looking weird” and seducing the entire audience. When the band realizes that she’s a vampire and that it’s helping their popularity, they are turned one by one and gain immediate success. Meanwhile, Malcolm McDowell is a vampire hunter who finds the band and convinces them to help them hunt down and kill the Queen bee, which could transform them back.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

It should, as Suck is an ultra-generic horror comedy that’s been done hundreds of times in similar ways. While it’s nothing fresh or original, Stefaniuk sticks to what works, which is what makes the film watchable – although I wouldn’t recommend this other than a rental. To keep things moving along, the film is loaded with cameos ranging from Iggy Pop to Alice Cooper to even Henry Rollins. And to my surprise, Moby stole the show as a asshole singer from a rival band who gets what’s coming to him. Why anyone casts McDowell in anything anymore is beyond me as it’s obvious he just calls in his lines and puts forth zero effort, unless he’s just lost it.

In all honesty, Suck is a joke of a film loaded with cheesy lines, bad jokes, cameos, a horrid score, over-the-top acting and a lead vampire who hasn’t changed his clothes in 30 years, yet, there’s something charming about it that makes it worth a watch. In fact, there’s plenty of blood and pretty rad animated transitions that remind me of Guitar Hero.

If you’re looking for some high concept, original vampire film, you won’t find it in Suck, but at least you’ll burn through an hour and half without regret. I’d say bust out some popcorn and grab this one for date night.

 

Official Score