It felt like horror was set back 10 years When Courtney Solomon produced Captivity for After Dark Films. Now, WWE Studios is back in the production game with No One Lives, which feels very much out of the same ill-advised world where suits with tons of money and zero heart get behind genre films (because they think we’re an easy sell). While incredibly gory, No One Lives is soulless garbage whose problems begin and end with an appalling script.
Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura – of Midnight Meat Train and Versus fame – the plot follows a group of petty thieves that cross paths with Luke Evans as an ex-military agent (who has become a serial killer) and his prisoner (Adelaide Clemens).
Penned by David Cohen (presumably in 2005, right after Hostel hit theaters), the screenplay is jam-packed with cheesy dialogue and one-liners that couldn’t even be delivered by Tom Cruise. While most of the dialogue is laughable, the real issue comes with the character development. Everyone in No One Lives is a horrible piece of crap; as a viewer you’ll have to get behind either a group of crummy thieves (who murder people for no reason and talk to each other like dog shit), or a serial killer who kidnaps and tortures women (apparently). Everyone could die and it wouldn’t even matter to the viewer; and because everyone sucks, there’s no emotion behind any of their imminent deaths.
The good news is that there’s an insane amount of gore, and the gags are pretty great, but unfortunately there’s no fun behind it. No One Lives is generic “shock” cinema that was a result of Hostel, which is why it feels like it sets horror back 10 years.
It can’t be expressed enough just how terrible this film is. It’s camp without the laughs, a complete downer that’ll leave the audience feeling empty. There’s nothing more frustrating than watching films like this get made by people who understand nothing about the genre; they should stick to wrestling, at least that’s one form of entertainment they know how to produce.
this week in horror
R.I.P. ‘Predator’ Star Sonny Landham
You Can Tour the Real Camp Crystal Lake This Friday the 13th!
Here’s the Official Plot Synopsis for M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Glass’
Netflix Sets Premiere Date for Stephen King’s ‘1922’; First Images
‘Friday the 13th: The Game’ Launches New Website; New Jason & New Map Coming Soon!