Editorials
Ranking All 12 ‘Friday the 13th’ Films!
Happy Friday the 13th everyone! To celebrate, we’ve decided to take another stab (sorry) at ranking all 12 films in the Friday the 13th franchise. What is so great about the Friday the 13th movies is that everyone has a different favorite film. With 12 films, there are 479,001,600 different rankings that are possible, so it is highly unlikely to find someone who will rank the films in the same order you do (check out our own Evan Dickson’s rankings right here). With that in mind, I thought I would share with you my rankings* of the films. Some may be cliché (like my choice for last place), but others may surprise you. Though if you read my comparison from earlier today of the original Friday the 13th with the remake, you may already have an idea of where this list is headed.
*To put my opinions in perspective, I was born in 1989, when seven Friday films had already been released. The first Friday the 13th film I ever saw was the first film, but it wasn’t until 2004, when I was in high school. By that point I had already seen a slew of other horror films, so I am not a person who grew up with the franchise. While my rankings may not go with popular opinion, I thought it might provide an interesting perspective.
12. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Oy, Jason Goes to Hell. What is there to say about such a film? It’s terrible? It’s atrocious? It’s godawful? It’s actually all of those things, but it also makes or one of the more entertaining watches in the franchise, if only because it’s so bad, and makes absolutely zero sense (the amount of plot holes in the film is astounding). There is a scene of leather S&M shaving that seems to be taking a page out of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, and don’t even get me started on the fact that the lead character somehow happens to be Jason’s half-sister and is the only person capable of stopping him (seriously, that sounds like a short story I wrote when I was in first grade). Not only does that completely rip off Halloween II, but it’s just completely unnecessary. Creighton Duke is pretty fun, albeit out of place in the film. Acting is worse than usual for a Friday film, which is really saying something. The film’s saving grace is the final shot of Freddy’s glove dragging Jason’s mask to Hell, but even that can’t save this mess of a film.
11. Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Otherwise known as Jason Goes to Sea, Friday the 13th Part VII is the epitome of the bait-and-switch, with the majority of the film takin place on a boat, only to arrive in “Manhattan” (most of the climax was filmed in Vancouver for budgetary reasons) for the final 20 minutes. On top of that, it’s a sort of boring film. There is one creative kill in the entire film, and none of the cast members make any sort of impression. After a domestic box office gross of just over $14 million, it’s no wonder Paramount sold the franchise to New Line Cinema (even though they were the ones to botch it in the first place with their budgetary constraints).
10. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
You have to give Part VII some credit for trying something different, it just doesn’t really work. Tina is a formidable opponent for Jason, but the climactic battle between the two is underwhelming, with the reemergence of Tina’s father coming across as more than hokey. The film was also a victim of severe cuts in an attempt to avoid an X rating. Reading about the alternate deaths on Wikipedia, one has to wonder what the film could have been. It’s not like more gore and better deaths would have made increased the quality of the film, but it would have at least made it more entertaining. While Terry Kiser’s Dr. Crewes is a fun little villain (and kind of a precursor to Dr. Channard in the following year’s Hellbound: Hellraiser II), the film ultimately feels like a bit of a slog. Still, it would have been interesting to see Tina return in Part VIII, but Lar-Park Lincoln wanted too much money.
9. Freddy Vs. Jason
Ronny Yu was all about 80s nostalgia in the late 90s and early 2000s. He is also extremely polarizing with horror fans. First, he gifted us with Bride of Chucky in 1998, a movie I am very fond of (yeah, I said it), and then he gave us Freddy Vs. Jason in 2003. Continuity issues aside (and there are plenty), Freddy Vs. Jason is still a helluva lot of fun. It’s definitely a better Friday film than it is a Nightmare film, with Jason getting the bulk of the kills. Like Bride of Chucky, it’s a goofy film that constantly pokes fun at the other films in the franchise. Unfortunately, it peaks early with the folding bed kill and Monica Keena’s Lori is an underwhelming (and fairly stupid) final girl. Also, it’s not really relevant to the quality of the film, but Kelly Rowland calling Freddy a faggot bothers me each and every time I watch Freddy Vs. Jason.
8. Friday the 13th (1980)
Okay, I know I’m going against the grain here, and I know the original Friday the 13th is a classic, but in all honesty, it’s not that good. I’m sure many of you are about to skip the rest of the article right now and just jump to the comments section to bash me, but I can accept that. As I mentioned in my original vs. remake post earlier today, Friday the 13th was made to capitalize on the craze of slashers started by Halloween in 1978, and it is a pale imitation of that film (just with more gore). It was the Urban Legend/Valentine/I Know What You Did Last Summer to Halloween’s Scream. It’s not like the film inspired a bunch of lesser films. Friday the 13th is the lesser film that was inspired by Halloween. This isn’t to say I dislike the film. On the contrary, I quite like it and upon re-watching it this week, I have found more things to admire in the film. The characters are actually all likable for the most part, and while they aren’t given many distinguishing characteristics before they die, they all feel like real people. The kills are good, but many are surprisingly off-screen. Mrs. Voorhees is an excellent villain, and I wish I was old enough to have seen it in a theater in 1980. I’m sure that reveal must have been fun for a first-time viewer. I maintain that Alice isn’t a great final girl. Sure, she decapitates Mrs. Voorhees, but she spends much of the first two acts off-screen (or playing strip Monopoly) and the final act screaming. Again, it’s not a popular sentiment, but the original Friday the 13th is overrated.
7. Friday the 13th (2009)
Yes, I’m saying it. The Friday the 13th remake is a better film than the original. The film has it’s problems, that’s for sure. It’s a little too long (especially if you watch the “Killer Cut” Blu-Ray), it’s a little too tame (for a film made in 2009, there really isn’t that much gore) Clay and Whitney aren’t the most interesting protagonists, it’s unrealistic that Jason would have kept Whitney alive for six weeks just because she sort of looked like his mother, many of the characters are unlikable, and reducing the entire original film to two minutes proves to be an unwise decision. More a remake of Friday the 13th 2-4 than the original 1980 film, the remake does a few things remarkably well. First, the stellar pre-title card sequence is the perfect Friday the 13th film condensed into 24 minutes. While the characters are all paper-thin, the acting is surprisingly solid, with solid turns from Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Yoo and even Travis Van Winkle, who plays a great douchebag. Jason’s running abilities and his tunnel system never bothered me as much as they did other people either. Friday the 13th isn’t a great remake, but it’s better than many others that were released in the 2000s.
6. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning
A New Beginning gets a bad rap for being the one Friday the 13th film without Jason. Truth be told, that’s not what hurts the film. It has a terrible final girl in Melanie Kinnaman’s Pam. I mean really, she’s just the worst. All she does is scream. There are at least ten 5-second shots in the film that are just her screaming. The teenagers in the film have absolutely no character development so when they die it’s hard to feel anything for them. Tommy is severely underused in the film (though the cameo appearance by Corey Feldman in the opening scene is nice). The setting for the film, at a recovery camp for traumatized teens, seems to be an inspiration for the much better A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, which would use the setting to greater effect. Also, the film makes it fairly obvious that Roy the ambulance driver is the man behind the mask. Just watch the scene where he discover’s his son’s corpse. It’s there. Subtlety is not A New Beginning’s strength. Still, it’s an extremely entertaining film. There are some fun kills and it has a nice sense of humor about itself (Ethel calling her son a dildo will always make me laugh). It is full of boobs, if you’re into that sort of thing, and it doesn’t wear out its welcome, running at a brisk 92 minutes. You have to respect the film for taking a risk with not including Jason in the film. In hindsight, the gamble pays off, even if audiences didn’t see it that way in 1985. Seriously though, Pam sucks.
5. Jason X
A lot of you are probably wondering why I rank Jason X so high in the franchise, and all I can say is that it’s a lot of fun. The film is self-aware, which many people find annoying, especially in a franchise like Friday the 13th. It’s not as clever as, say, Scream is about it’s meta-ness. In fact, the whole thing is actually kind of dumb. But whether you look at David Cronenberg’s cameo in the first scene, to silly puns like “This sucks on so many levels,” or that awesome liquid nitrogen head smash kill, Jason X just has a great sense of humor about itself that gives it such a great personality. If Jason X were a person, I’d probably hang out with him. Plus, you really can’t beat that virtual reality sequence. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at a scene in any of the Friday the 13th films.
4. Friday the 13th Part 2
Friday the 13th Part 2 is many people’s favorite Friday the 13th film, and I can certainly see why. It introduces Jason, he’s wearing a burlap mask, Ginny is one of the strongest final girls in the franchise (if not the strongest) and there are some pretty great kills, with Mark’s machete to the face being a particular standout. It’s definitely one of the more brutal films in the franchise, which is saying something for 1981. The reason that it isn’t my personal favorite is that it is the poster child for “more of the same.” Yes, I know we get Jason as opposed to Mrs. Voorhees, but it just sort of feels like it’s going through the motions. The fact that the actual “Part 2” is only 75 minutes long (the first 10 minutes are just sequences from the climax of the first film) doesn’t help matters either. That being said, it’s still a lot of fun, and definitely one of the stronger entries in the franchise.
3. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives
I do like Jason Lives a lot. It’s meta humor was a refreshing change of pace for the franchise, and it was nice to see the film poke fun at itself. It goes back and forth with being my favorite based on my mood, and right now I feel like I appreciate the seriousness of the next two entries more than the humor of this one. Still, there’s no denying that Jason Lives is the most fun installment. It marks the final outing for Tommy Jarvis (now played by Thom Mathews) and introduces a kickass final girl in Megan. If you didn’t know what kind of film you were getting into when you pop this one into your Blu-Ray player, the James Bond opening title card will probably help ease you into the new tone of the series. It also showcases Tommy’s best attempt at insulting someone: calling them a “maggot-head.”
2. Friday the 13th Part III
I’ve seen Friday the 13th Part III get a bad rap among many horror fans, but it’s clearly one of the best in the series. Ginny may get all the love, but Chris is a formidable Final Girl. It’s a shame she went crazy in the end of the film. Still, her chase scene and eventual fight with Jason is probably the best in the series. The moment where you know she’s in it to win it is when she wraps the rope around Jason’s neck and hangs him. Such a clever girl. Shelly seems to be a point of contention among fans, but I find him quite endearing. I root for the underdog. Sue me. Part III is the film where Jason gets his mask, which is what the film is famous for, but it’s so much more than that. Nearly all of the characters are likable, the script is well-written (for a Friday film), it has some fantastic kills (with the handstand bisection being the standout) and is just a lot of fun to watch. Plus, it gave us this hilarious visual of Jason looking out of a window along with Chris’ “over it” face:
1. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is the ultimate Friday the 13th film. Since Paramount’s intention was to end the franchise after this installment, they went all out and made a fantastic film. Director Joseph Zito (The Prowler), brings his A-game to the film and he directs the Hell out of it. The Final Chapter (which of course turned out to be not so final) includes practically everything you could ever want from a Friday the 13th film: great kills, nudity (even male nudity this time!), sex, a kickass Final Girl (though not the series’ best) in Trish and Jason doing lots of shit. Corey Feldman’s Tommy Jarvis was a nice foil for Jason as well, giving Trish a partner in crime to fend off Jason. The one misstep with the film is bringing in Sandra’s (from Part 2) brother to hunt down Jason. It’s an interesting concept, but the film kills him off too quickly for it to really mean anything. Still, it’s a small misstep in what is the best film in the Friday the 13th franchise. Also, is it just me, or was anyone else bummed that Sarah never got to have sex before she died?
So there you have it! This is how I would rank the Friday the 13th films. How would you rank them? Let me know in the comments below or shoot me a Tweet!
Horror was thriving so well in the 1980s that movies like Pen Densham’s The Kiss (1988) would understandably get lost in the shuffle, only to then gain their fans later on in life. Even still, this one Canadian-American curio has had a more challenging time than others, as far as contemporary reevaluations go, which is very likely due to the movie’s limited availability—at least as of this write-up.
However, the scarceness of The Kiss, while a bit annoying, makes it like catnip for ‘80s horror completists everywhere. Hopefully, a lot of them will walk away satisfied after watching this hidden gem.
Even though The Kiss was intended as the first of several horror collaborations between Astral Pictures and TriStar, as well as the first feature produced by Densham, Richard B. Lewis and John Watson’s Trilogy Entertainment Group, it ended up being the only one produced from that former union. Once the movie was released, TriStar’s distribution jitters—they opted for a regional rollout—did the $6-million flick no favors. TriStar’s cold feet toward horror releases have been well noted, but The Kiss still did a tad better than Night of the Creeps (1986), another genre outing that flopped due to its regional opening.
Shot in Montreal, but set in Albany, New York, The Kiss—which was still called The Host just a few months before its October premiere—concerns an average middle-class family and their forthcoming situation. The uncanny problem in store for them was, in fact, set in motion some years earlier. As that hot and dusty flashback to the Belgian Congo shows, a familial curse was set upon the two Dunbar sisters well before Meredith Salenger’s teenage character was born.
Meredith Salenger, Nicholas Kilbertus and Mimi Kuzyk in The Kiss
The Kiss, which was based on a story by co-writer Stephen Volk (Ghostwatch) and penned by both Volk and Tom Ropelewski, has the outward appearance of The Stepfather (1987). This movie, though, is anything but a gender-flipped retread of that classic domestic disturber. For starters, The Kiss is far less grounded in reality—that much is clear from its unsettling opening scene. There, a trusting girl (Priscilla Mouzakiotis) is the victim of her own deceptive aunt (Céline Lomez); the movie’s titular act, and the story’s first shock, becomes the means of transferring an ancient evil from one host to another.
In the present day, Salenger’s role of Amy Halloran, a religious schoolgirl, is dealt a harsh blow in life once her mother, Hilary Halloran née Dunbar (Pamela Collyer), suddenly dies in a freak accident. But rather than a complete stranger sweeping the Halloran widower (Nicholas Kilbertus) off his feet some months later, Joanna Pacula’s character is that chosen temptress. Here, Pacula plays the grown-up version of the afflicted girl last seen in the movie’s opener. Since Amy’s mother is insistent about there being no reunion between estranged sisters, and she even contemplates buying a gun shortly before her tragic demise, it’s presumable that Aunt Felice poses a threat to her family.
The Kiss isn’t a movie ever too concerned about its own predictability. The audience is indeed often one step ahead of the story here, but also keep in mind how every one of those steps is loud. Take, for instance, the death of Amy’s mother; the Halloran matriarch goes out in garish, gruesome fashion, as a supernaturally commandeered truck sends Collyer’s character through a store window first, then leaves her one leg short. The directorial enthusiasm truly comes out in horrific moments such as these.
The Kiss is always sure to revel in its characters’ ills and misfortunes. So if the plot doesn’t impress, then its lurid parts should. Amy’s mother’s exit scene was proof of an eager, first-time horror director proving his worth. Then, bestie Heather (Sabrina Boudot) survives to tell the tale of a bizarre escalator mishap that, despite showing relatively less gore, spikes viewers’ empathy meter. The wilder bits of this movie, however, commence with that inevitable hookup between Felice and Amy’s bewitched father; their kitchen coitus is paralleled by Amy’s feverish classroom terror. The outcome there is a disquieting cross-cut of sex magic and a young woman’s menstrual onset plus hallucinations.
Sabrina Boudot in The Kiss
From foam appliances to bladders, that parade of special effects in The Kiss casts its own spell on the audience. Felice’s familiar, a visibly malevolent cat, was realized here with several models, some more articulate than others. Admittedly, the demon cat’s not as convincing as most of the effects here, but accepting that artifice, as opposed to fighting it, will make the whole experience way more enjoyable. As for the makeup used to manifest Felice’s inner villainy, it is more minimal and subtle than one might like; yet the work done to turn Pacula into an antithesis of herself is nonetheless compelling.
The otherworldly perils and dreadful goings-on wouldn’t work half as well as they do in The Kiss without the story’s contrast effect. Finding frights in picturesque, extremely ordinary settings was something that took off in the ‘80s, thanks to that sweeping shift to locales like the suburbs. And Amy’s home, a replica of a real Montreal suburban house, is the ideal battleground for any proper good-versus-evil story. It’s also prime real estate for this movie’s satanic panic-inspired horrors.
Because of their ostensibly similar plots, The Kiss has been compared to The Exorcist (1973). Except in Densham’s movie, the sinister, non-Christian entity targeting a teen girl lies within something less apparent and, perhaps, more devastating upon its exposure. To an outsider, Pacula’s Aunt Felice is too beautiful and unobjectionable to ever suspect of being a monster. More suspicious is how quickly she rips into the fabric of the Halloran home. Felice’s mere presence upsets the “texture of family life,” according to the director.
The demon cat in The Kiss
Taking out Amy’s mother and best friend, and distracting her father, would suggest The Kiss is playing by a different set of rules. It is initially leaving its adolescent target unsupported in a rather grim scenario. In contrast, though, this story offers up a surrogate parent who does her best to fill in the holes of Amy’s eroding home life. Mimi Kuzyk does good work as that family friend and doctor, Brenda, who guides the lost child without also steering her in any one direction; she is naturally skeptical of Amy’s accusations until it’s almost too late to do anything about them. So although The Kiss does an admirable job of undoing the main character’s support system, it never leaves her without a lifeline. This dark movie, in spite of everything that’s transpired, doesn’t deprive itself of light and hope.
The Kiss is a potent mélange of familiar ideas. If not for the director’s surprise flair for horror, though, the movie would have been less effective. What a shame that Pen Densham didn’t continue with the genre. As for Joanna Pacula, she is, too, owed credit as the wicked vixen opposite Meredith Salenger’s pitiable Amy; she never fails to be unsettling in her role. Pacula makes Aunt Felice a sexy yet intimidating character.
For horror that steadily doles out madness and menace, while also delivering a flashy and ghastly conclusion, The Kiss is certain to please. Yes, it’s cheesy all the way, but most favorably, everyone involved plays everything straight. That kind of commitment goes a long way with this movie.
The Kiss
You must be logged in to post a comment.