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Silly, Self-Aware ‘Amityville Christmas Vacation’ Is a Welcome Change of Pace [The Amityville IP]

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Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.” 

After a number of bloated runtimes and technically inept entries, it’s something of a relief to watch Amityville Christmas Vacation (2022). The 55-minute film doesn’t even try to hit feature length, which is a wise decision for a film with a slight, but enjoyable premise.

The amusingly self-aware comedy is written and directed by Steve Rudzinski, who also stars as protagonist Wally Griswold. The premise is simple: a newspaper article celebrating the hero cop catches the attention of B’n’B owner Samantha (Marci Leigh), who lures Wally to Amityville under the false claim that he’s won a free Christmas stay.

Naturally it turns out that the house is haunted by a vengeful ghost named Jessica D’Angelo (Aleen Isley), but instead of murdering him like the other guests, Jessica winds up falling in love with him.

Several other recent Amityville films, including Amityville Cop and Amityville in Space, have leaned into comedy, albeit to varying degrees of success. Amityville Christmas Vacation is arguably the most successful because, despite its hit/miss joke ratio, at least the film acknowledges its inherent silliness and never takes itself seriously.

In this capacity, the film is more comedy than horror (the closest comparison is probably Amityville Vibrator, which blended hard-core erotica with references to other titles in the “series”). The jokes here are enjoyably varied: Wally glibly acknowledges his racism and excessive use of force in a way that reflects the real world culture shift around criticisms of police work; the last names of the lovers, as well the title of the film, are obvious homages to the National Lampoon’s holiday film; and the narrative embodies the usual festive tropes of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies.

This self-awareness buys the film a certain amount of goodwill, which is vital considering Rudzinski’s clear budgetary limitations. Jessica’s ghost make-up is pretty basic, the action is practically non-existent, and the whole film essentially takes place in a single location. These elements are forgivable, though audiences whose funny bone isn’t tickled will find the basic narrative, low stakes, and amateur acting too glaring to overlook. It must be acknowledged that in spite of its brief runtime, there’s still an undeniable feeling of padding in certain dialogue exchanges and sequences.

Despite this, there’s plenty to like about Amityville Christmas Vacation.

Rudzinski is the clear stand-out here. Wally is a goof: he’s incredibly slow on the uptake and obsessed with his cat Whiskers. The early portions of the film lean on Wally’s inherent likeability and Rudzinski shares an easy charm with co-star Isley, although her performance is a bit more one-note (Jessica is mostly confused by the idiot who has wandered into her midst).

Falling somewhere in the middle are Ben Dietels as Rick (Ben Dietels), Wally’s pathetic co-worker who has invented a family to spend the holidays with, and Zelda (Autumn Ivy), the supernatural case worker that Jessica Zooms with for advice on how to negotiate her newfound situation.

The other actors are less successful, particularly Garrett Hunter as ghost hunter Creighton Spool (Scott Lewis), as well as Samantha, the home owner. Leigh, in particular, barely makes an impression and there’s absolutely no bite in her jealous threats in the last act.

Like most comedies, audience mileage will vary depending on their tolerance for low-brow jokes. If the idea of Wally chastising and giving himself a pep talk out loud in front of Jessica isn’t funny, Amityville Christmas Vacation likely isn’t for you. As it stands, the film’s success rate is approximately 50/50: for every amusing joke, there’s another one that misses the mark.

Despite this – or perhaps because of the film’s proximity to the recent glut of terrible entries – Amityville Christmas Vacation is a welcome breath of fresh air. It’s not a great film, but it is often amusing and silly. There’s something to be said for keeping things simple and executing them reasonably well.

That’s a lesson that other indie Amityville filmmakers could stand to learn.

2.5 out of 5 skulls

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

  • Recurring Gag: The film mines plenty of jokes from characters saying the quiet part (out) loud, including Samantha’s delivery of “They’re always the people I hate” when Wally asks how he won a contest he didn’t enter.
  • Holiday Horror: There’s a brief reference that Jessica died in an “icicle accident,” which plays like a perfect blend between a horror film and a Hallmark film.
  • Best Line: After Jessica jokes about Wally’s love of all things cats to Zelda, calling him the “cat’s meow,” the case worker’s deadpan delivery of “Yeah, that sounds like an inside joke” is delightful.
  • Christmas Wish: In case you were wondering, yes, Santa Claus (Joshua Antoon) does show up for the film’s final joke, though it’s arguably not great.
  • Chainsaw Award: This film won Fangoria’s ‘Best Amityville’ Chainsaw award in 2023, which makes sense given how unique it is compared to many other titles released in 2022. This also means that the film is probably the best entry we’ll discuss for some time, so…yay?
  • ICYMI: This editorial series was recently included in a profile in the The New York Times, another sign that the Amityville “franchise” will never truly die.

Next time: we’re hitting the holidays in the wrong order with a look at November 2022’s Amityville Thanksgiving, which hails from the same creative team as Amityville Karen <gulp>

Joe is a TV addict with a background in Film Studies. He co-created TV/Film Fest blog QueerHorrorMovies and writes for Bloody Disgusting, Anatomy of a Scream, That Shelf, The Spool and Grim Magazine. He enjoys graphic novels, dark beer and plays multiple sports (adequately, never exceptionally). While he loves all horror, if given a choice, Joe always opts for slashers and creature features.

Books

The Power of Believing: Diving into Stephen King’s Fictional Tabloid ‘Inside View’

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Pictured: 'The Night Flier'

Stephen King is an interesting follow on the site formerly known as Twitter. When not posting about politics or his latest literary find, he’s ranting about the state of the world and making observations that position him as a sort of elder statesman in the horror community. A recent tweet by the Master of Horror mentions a bygone era of salacious magazines that harkens back to his early career: “Hey, do you guys remember that supermarket tabloid that used to have stories about BatBoy? Man, I loved that shit.”

The world-famous author is likely referencing publications like The National Enquirer and similar periodicals that used to grab eyes in checkout lanes with claims of Elvis sightings and alien encounters. Frequently inspired by the world around him, King has his own literary brand of tabloid journalism with Inside View, a rag that has been appearing in his work for decades. 


The Dead Zone

‘The Dead Zone’

Inside View began its life in one of King’s early classics, The Dead Zone (1979). This political thriller follows Johnny Smith, a teacher who awakens from a four-year coma with a disturbing ability to see into the past and future. When news of his powerful gift makes its way outside of the hospital, it peaks the interest of a sleazy periodical. Richard Dees, a journalist for Inside View approaches Johnny at his home with a lucrative offer to exploit this ability in a salacious column filled with parlor tricks and outsized predictions. Smith and his father summarily dismiss Dees and throw him off of their porch, valuing their privacy over a lifetime of lucrative infamy. But with this one interaction, an entity was born.

Inside View would become a fixture in King’s interconnected literary world and continue to appear in his novels and short stories for the next 45 years. 


Danse Macabre

Criterion Collection October

‘Freaks’

But to truly understand the genesis of this fascinating magazine, we need to go even further back in time. King has always been fascinated by oddities and opens his first non-fiction work, Danse Macabre, with memories of childhood nightmares. In the first chapter, “Tales of the Hook,” King tackles the concept of monstrosity by exploring fascination with carnival sideshows and the impact of Tod Browning’s disturbing 1932 film Freaks. While much of this section would be considered problematic by today’s standards, it was an uneven contribution to early conversations about disability and acceptance. King also seems fully aware of the salacious nature of this exploitation. In a treatise on horror, he’s examining the concept of otherness and our tendency to fixate on physical differences as a way of reifying the social hierarchy. He insists, “it is not the physical or mental aberration in itself which horrifies us, but rather the lack of order which these aberrations seem to imply.” 

King credits The National Enquirer with sparking his own interest in monsters and even admits to being an occasional patron. In a footnote following a mention of the tabloid, he confesses, “I buy it if there’s a juicy UFO story or something about Bigfoot, but mostly I only scan it rapidly while in a slow supermarket checkout lane, looking for such endearing lapses of taste as the notorious autopsy photo of Lee Harvey Oswald or their photo of Elvis Presley in his coffin.” While King may cast slight judgment on the authors of these exploitative stories, he does not shame the readers themselves. He describes these stories with a mix of reverence, bemusement, and childish wonder. These grainy photos of alien autopsies, flesh-eating dogs, and grotesque physical anomalies once sparked his imagination and introduced a young horror fan to elements of the macabre that would inform his prolific writing career for decades to come. 


Nightmares and Dreamscapes

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King

While King’s work has always centered on the exploration of monsters, both fantastical and human, he dove head-first into this interest with his third short story collection Nightmares and Dreamscapes (1993). Akin to a curio shelf of horrific objects, this assortment of 23 unnerving tales features a number of dangerous oddities and unexpected monsters. Subjects range from a massive finger growing out of a toilet and a pair of murderous wind-up teeth, to bat people masquerading as powerful businessmen and killer frogs raining from the sky. His introduction – King’s beloved way of speaking directly to his Constant Readers – mentions freakish tales from paperback compilations of Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, a publication he fondly remembers devouring in his youth.

Rather than factual evidence, it’s belief that seems to interest King most. In a subtle nod to the climax of his magnum opus It (1986), King muses on the power of believing in myths like poisonous gas at the center of tennis balls and the ability to sever a shadow by piercing it with a stake. Similar to urban legends that shape our interactions with the larger world, King notes the importance belief in these imaginative legends has had in his own life. “This made for more than a few sleepless nights, but it also filled the world I lived in with colors and textures I would not have traded for a lifetime of restful nights.” Rather than cast a baleful eye on journals that traffic in the sensational, King’s collection highlights the power of believing in the “unseen world all around us.” His introduction concludes with an invitation to suspend disbelief and venture into a world where anything is possible. 


The Night Flier

‘The Night Flier’

Given this fantastical focus, it’s no surprise that Nightmares and Dreamscapes features King’s most overt exploration of Inside View. The collection’s fourth story “The Night Flier”  follows Dees, now a veteran reporter, on the trail of a “vampire” traveling the country in a small private plane. It’s a grim story with a true crime feel and a fascinating approach to vampire lore. The titular pilot may wear the black cape made famous by Bela Lugosi, but he has a hideous face with two large, bore-like fangs that puncture the necks of his victims and cause their blood to spurt out like crimson guisers. Dwight Renfield is not an elegant killer, but a ripper-like psycho leaving grisly crime scenes and dismembered corpses in his wake – the perfect subject for Inside View

Rather than focus solely on the monster himself, King spends just as much time exploring Dees’s own ethical code. Far from the ambitious hack that once knocked on Johnny Smith’s door, this Dees has been curating the publication’s scandalous content for decades. He operates on the iron-clad directive to never print anything he believes and to never believe anything he prints, an interesting subversion to King’s earlier introduction. I won’t spoil one of the collection’s best entries, but “The Night Flier” plays with the price of disbelief as Dees is forced into a world where the stories he’s been spinning for decades might actually be real. 


Modern Mentions

‘Doctor Sleep’

King presents Nightmares and Dreamscapes as the concluding chapter in a trilogy of short story collections and it does feel like the end of an era. The author’s next literary phase is much more experimental, playing with formats, bending genres, and moving further away from the hallmarks of classic horror. Inside View remains a constant, but the author’s perspective seems to gradually shift. Tess, the heroine of his 2010 rape-revenge novella “Big Driver,” chooses not to report her assault in part because she fears the magazine would blame her for the crime. In Doctor Sleep (2013), Abra’s mother keeps her daughter’s psychic abilities a secret for fear that, like Johnny Smith, she would become fodder for the tabloids. This shift may have something to do with King’s own time recovering from a near-fatal highway accident. During his lengthy recovery, the world-famous author may have imagined pictures of his own mangled body appearing in publications willing to disregard ethics in favor of a massive payday.  

Though mentions have decreased since the ’90s, King has not stopped writing about Inside View. Billy Summers (2021) and Fairy Tale (2022) both include references to this fictional tabloid. Inside View also makes an appearance in You Like It Darker, now available. The eagerly anticipated collection revisits Cujo, another Castle Rock story from King’s early catalog. 

King’s intro for Nightmares and Dreamscapes extols not only the virtues of short stories, but also their ability to save the world. “Good writing–good stories–are the imagination’s firing pin, and the purpose of the imagination, I believe, is to offer us solace and shelter from situations and life-passages which would otherwise prove unendurable. I can only speak from my own experience, of course, but for me, the imagination which so often kept me awake and in terror as a child has seen me through some terrible bouts of stark raving reality as an adult.” With the world seeming to come apart at the seams, perhaps it’s time to renew our faith in the fantastical, suspend our disbelief, and once again venture with King into the world of the seemingly impossible. 

‘The Night Flier’

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