Editorials
The Top 21 Most Kick-Ass Giant Monsters in Movie History!
With the Kraken soon to be released once more in theaters everywhere thanks to the imminent remake of Clash of the Titans, it’s high time I took a long, hard look at the many awe-inspiring behemoths that have stomped their way across motion picture screens over the years. You can have your little vampires, werewolves, zombies and mummies–when you’re looking for wholesale destruction and unbridled terror, nothing serves it up quite like a massive irradiated monstrosity. We’re taking a look at the big boys this time out, so strap in and make sure you’re wearing your helmet! Oh, and aren’t you glad I completely avoided saying, “Size matters”?

The Top 21 Most Kick-Ass Giant Monsters in Movie History!

Decidedly less sexy than his female counterpart, the 50-foot Woman, Colossal Man nevertheless was deemed awesomely cheesy enough to be the brunt of one of Mystery Science Theater 3000’s most memorable episodes.

Wanna know how dangerous this massive arachnid from the 1955 movie of the same name was? They actually had to call on Clint Eastwood to stop the thing. That’s right, the future Dirty Harry plays a fighter pilot who makes an appearance at the end of this seminal monster movie.

San Francisco is the city of choice in Harryhausen’s It Came from Beneath the Sea, and what comes from beneath the sea is this gigantic octopus, a beastie who threatens to tear down the Golden Gate Bridge if it isn’t stopped. If only it had swung by Haight-Ashberry, this might have all been avoided…

Smaller and not as fierce as his cinematic cousin Kong, you still can’t help but have a soft spot for Joe. After all, he does manage to win a tug of war with a bunch of wrestlers, and his theme song is Stephen Foster’s “Beautiful Dreamer”, which shows a discerning musical taste.

Starting out very small in 20 Million Miles to Earth, this alien/reptilian Harryhausen creation gradually grows to mammoth proportions, threatening the Eternal City of Rome in the process. Proving to be the most cultured of movie monsters, he chooses the Collosseum as his target.

Godzilla meets Blair Witch as this hardly seen amphibious terror emerges from New York Harbor and turns the city upside down. As we’re made privy to the detailed doings of a gang of whiny twenty-somethings, we can’t help but pray for a better look at the giant thing that’s causing all the mayhem. And hope that it eats them all.

So many possibilities here, and if you’re a guy and you say they’ve never occurred to you, you’re lying. Not only is she one of the most unforgettable giant “monsters”, she also has one of the most famous movie poster of all time.

First appearing in the pages of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, the Balrog of Khazad-dum was perhaps the one monster LOTR fans were most anxious to see translated to the screen–and Peter Jackson certainly didn’t disappoint with his hellish interpretation of Morgoth’s minion.

Rounding out Toho’s Holy Kaiju Trinity is everyone’s favorite enormous irradiated pterodactyl. This dude is so huge that he can level skyscrapers just by flapping his wings, and also makes the coolest noise this side of Big G himself.

A kaiju flick for the 21st century, The Host is a tour-de-force of giant monster action, and the titular creature is a brilliant and terrifying reinvention of the classic archetype. Plus, he’s also a giant fish with legs, which rules.

Before Jurassic Park, even before Godzilla, there was this dinosaur run amok, one of Harryhausen’s first giant monster creations. An ambitious son of a gun, he runs rampant through the Big Apple itself, making his last stand in Brooklyn’s own Coney Island amusement park.

The three-headed arch-nemesis of Godzilla, this alien hydra spits lightning in every direction, destroying everything in its path. It also resembles the Chinese dragon, leading some to see it as Japan’s criticism of its Communist neighbor. Nothing like a little political commentary in a giant monster flick!

My personal favorite Harryhausen creation, this giant bronze statue is cold-blooded murder in physical form, coming after Jason and his Argonauts with relentless fury. An ancient giant robot of sorts, he is undone when Jason “unplugs” him, pouring out the black, oil-like substance he seems to run on.

The creation of Toho Studios’ chief Japanese rival company Daiei, the beloved giant turtle became a national institution perhaps second only to Godzilla himself. The invincible Guardian of the Universe, Gamera is nothing short of a cult icon.

Perhaps the most instantly recognizable of all of Ray Harryhausen’s creations, the giant Cyclops appears in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, giving the fabled sailor a little more giant monster mayhem than he bargained for.

Toho’s second most famous monster, the world’s biggest flying insect is actually a god, worshipped by a bunch of Pacific natives with spray-on tans and accompanied by his own tiny twin fairies who sing to him. Not a bad gig for a creature whose main weapon is silk.

A gelatinous red mass of all-consuming alien gunk, the Blob gets larger the more it absorbs, until it threatens to swallow up an entire town. Fortunately, Steve McQueen is able to prove that even as a teenager, he was already a consummate badass.

From the dark recesses of the mind of Dr. Raymond Stantz came this titanic walking mountain of fluff. The corporeal embodiment of Gozer the Traveller, Sta-Puft wreaks havoc through mid-town Manhattan before getting roasted by the boys in gray.

It may look absolutely nothing like the traditional mythological representation of a Kraken (they’re more like giant squid), but Harryhausen’s beloved brainchild remains 1,000 tons of awesome in a 500-ton bag.

They don’t call the big guy “King of the Monsters” for nothing. Four hundred feet tall. Breathes nuclear fire. Star of about 749 movies. He’s battled everyone from Baragon to Bambi, and has perhaps the most rabid fan base of any monster on the planet.
And the number-one most kick-ass giant monster in movie history…(naturally)…

All due respect to the rest, but there is only one true King Kong. No matter what Peter Jackson has to say about it. The first, and still the most memorable giant movie monster, the Eighth Wonder of the World is awesome incarnate. Brought to life by the legendary Willis O’Brien, Kong is the last word in massive movie behemoths. Plus, he has excellent taste in chicks, even if there’s not much he can do with them.
For more horror news, opinions and other fun crap, including info on Dracula casting rumors, the Top 10 Most Overrated Horror Movies, and a boatload of classic Godzilla trailers, check out Brian’s daily blog, The Vault of Horror, at thevaultofhorror.net.
Editorials
André Øvredal’s ‘Troll Hunter’ Remains One of the Best Found Footage Movies
In this day and age, the word “troll” is often used to describe various online nuisances. Yet as abundant and irksome as the modern troll can be, they aren’t usually as fearsome as their mythological counterparts. I’m not talking about the small and gentler versions that have become more common to see in media. No, there are much bigger and scarier trolls out there—and André Øvredal’s movie Troll Hunter is one of the best places to find them.
It doesn’t take long for Troll Hunter (or Trolljegeren) to dump the Blair Witch Project-esque setup and aim for something a lot fresher. The trajectory of the story is augmented by Otto Jespersen’s character Hans, the titular Troll Hunter. The second he comes barreling out of the deep, dark woods and shouts “troll” at the camera, this movie takes a turn into what feels like uncharted territory. Not only subject-wise, but also conceptually.
For fantastical and made-up subject matter in cinema, found footage is a fast way to add a guise of believability. After all, what we accept to be the most crucial aspect of documentaries—the truth—rubs off on pseudo-documentaries, despite our understanding of the pretense involved. That is what Øvredal delivered with Troll Hunter: a movie so convincing that some viewers wondered if trolls really do exist. So, had this been straightforwardly made, it likely wouldn’t have been as effective. Conventional narratives would be more inclined to treat something like trolls as flat out unreal, and never try to convince the audience to think otherwise.

Hans petrifies the three-headed Tusseladd troll.
The viewers, like the characters trailing Hans, are quickly thrown into the deeper end of that extraordinary story. They have to process all this new information while staying on the go. So, although there is no significant amount of meandering, narratively or physically, there is still a good amount of atmosphere, not to mention tension building. It’s never anything frightful, but then again, Troll Hunter isn’t your standard offering of horror; it’s more on the low end of the dark fantasy spectrum. We aren’t ever spirited away to a faraway world—we stay in rather familiar surroundings, as well as dip into those less so. The outcome is a movie where you’re constantly more in awe than in terror.
As fantasy fiction might do, Troll Hunter prefers not to deal with incredulity. There is no time to waste on doubt, as interviewer Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), soundperson Johanna (Johanna Mørck), and cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen) all follow Hans around, recording whatever this character is willing to reveal about his bizarre job. Of course, the Troll Hunter himself is not an open book; in that respect, the diegetic documentary fails to fully capture and unpack the more interesting of its two subjects. Yes, all those giant, monstrous trolls are indeed incredible, but understandably, your mind wanders to their pursuer. What kind of person signs up for this gig and then chooses to stick with it for so long?
Reviews have called out Troll Hunter for its lack of character development. In regard to Thomas and his fellow documentarians, that criticism is valid, but bear in mind, they aren’t the focus of the story, either. Meanwhile, Hans is a well-crafted character. At least better than first realized. Before he was introduced, Hans had already grown tired of the troll grind. Fed up with that low compensation for his services, resentful of the bureaucracy, and wanting to expose his employer on a large scale, Hans’ discontent is glaring.
Then there are those finer details about the Troll Hunter, such as that indifference to both the natural splendor of his everyday surroundings and the affections of an obviously smitten colleague, that also suggest some level of despondency. So it is fair to say this movie doesn’t feature any sizable growth for its characters; however, the namesake isn’t underwritten. No doubt, putting a real-life character like Otto Jespersen in that role is partly why Hans is so fascinating—maybe even relatable.

Otto Jespersen as Hans the Troll Hunter.
There is always a small risk whenever using the term “mockumentary” to describe a found-footage movie, as the word could imply humor where there is none. In the case of Troll Hunter, the term’s usage is appropriate. Some folks have claimed the English-dubbed version has the more comedic tone, however, the Norwegian cut isn’t exactly humorless. Apart from the trolls’ absurd appearances, this is a movie where the characters nearly choke on the monsters’ farts, and Christians are like walking targets. Hans’ complete apathy towards everything is another cause of laughter. Overall, the comedy is intentionally dry and inconsistent. Unfunny, though? Absolutely not.
In a movie where endemic creatures are maltreated, as well as disavowed from living freely and peacefully, it’s hard not to notice the ecological message buried beneath the story. In addition to that is the unmistakable political satire. There is this whole business about intrusive and unsightly power lines—like trolls, they’re big blemishes on the land—that leads to what is perhaps the movie’s funniest moment. The scene in question is that one where certain electric lines, the ones secretly being used to keep the trolls at bay, go in a loop and don’t actually send power to any residents. Yet the monitors of said lines don’t find this at all weird. So it stands to reason that Øvredal was having a go at those who accept the government’s doings without question.
Looking past the fact that trolls aren’t actually real, this movie is an enlightening source of information. And not just for international audiences; Norwegians, too, get schooled about their homeland’s own mythology. It’s also evident from everything on screen that Øvredal and his crew were enthusiastic about the topic. The creature designs are the most indicative of that zeal; those imaginative yet myth-accurate manifestations are equally amusing and grotesque. One second you’re laughing at their phallic noses, the next you’re white-knuckling during a hairy sequence. Most surprisingly is how well the trolls’ visual effects hold up after fifteen years. It’s not all spotless, but on the whole, they remain impressive.
Vouching for a mockumentary about trolls isn’t easy, but those who do come around and give it a shot will more than likely be grateful for the recommendation. For Troll Hunter is a real find in that vast and varied genre we call “found footage“.

A bridge troll reaches up for food and finds Hans decked out in armor.

You must be logged in to post a comment.