Movies
[Book Review] Bovine Bedlam Erupts in ‘Apocalypse Cow’
Nature goes rogue in Michael Logan’s Apocalypse Cow (May 21; St. Martins), in which a leaked government bio-weapon transforms the local wildlife into flesh-craving man-eaters. By restricting his infection to animals, Logan’s shrewd concept tweaks the very core of zombie myth. From cows to dogs, from sheep to squirrels, once the disease has spread, the heavily outnumbered humans are forced to circle the wagons against the furry masses.
Scottish author Michael Logan champions mediocrity by making a triumvirate of losers the unexpected heroes of his story. First there’s young Geldof, a teen wanker raised by a veggie-obsessed mother and a pothead of a father. Then you’ve got Terry, the guy manning the bolt gun out at McTavish & Sons slaughterhouse. Poor Terry always smells like raw meat and has a hard time with the lassies as a result. Slacker journalist Lindsey rounds out the cast, a reporter for the Glasgow Tribune who can’t catch a bloody break.
When an experimental bio-weapon is accidentally unleashed on a herd of unsuspecting cows, the three unlikely heroes find themselves barred in a house with several others, terrified of the madness that rages out on the city streets. (And considering that some of the animal attacks are sexual in nature––what one character dubs “reverse bestiality“– it is, indeed, madness worth hiding from.) Inevitably, cabin fever sets in, the idea of cannibalism is kicked around, and escape from Glasgow becomes the only viable option.
With Apocalypse Cow, Logan has struck an impressive balance between action and wit. In between the gruesomely funny animal attacks, the crackerjack banter keeps the pages turning. With staunch vegetarians holed up alongside stoners and meat-craving couch potatoes, petty conflicts are inevitable, and Logan seems to take great pleasure in putting these assclowns in awkward situations just to push their buttons. Sure, there’s no point in taking any of this seriously, but with a title like “Apocalypse Cow”, what did you expect? Earning its rightful place alongside other “nature run amok” classics of pop culture, Logan’s novel really delivers the Grade A goods.
Rating: 4 out of 5 Skulls
Judging from the unprecedented box office success of Kane Parsons’ Backrooms adaptation, you’ve likely already seen the liminal horror hit that managed to make audiences afraid of empty hallways and bad wallpaper. And now that so many of us have already entered the yellow labyrinth (some of us more than once), the time has come to discuss the spoiler-filled details that make the movie so fascinating in the first place.
And if there’s one element here that makes the Backrooms movie stand out from any previous lore/mythology, it has to be the genius addition of the Still Life entities. Warped recreations of real people that somehow wandered into the Complex, these misremembered creatures are responsible for some of the most disturbing imagery of 2026 – as well as laugh-out-loud memes created by one of the film’s very own concept artists.
However, true to Parsons’ word that the movie would rely heavily on practical effects, each of these distorted monsters was brought to life by real actors under heavy layers of makeup and prosthetics (with the occasional splash of CGI enhancements). While Anora and If I Had Legs I’d Kick You actress Ivy Wolk wasn’t among these performers, despite what Letterboxd might have you believe, the creature cast did benefit from veteran players with plenty of genre experience.
For starters, Alien: Romulus alumni Robert Bobroczkyi (who previously brought that film’s horrific Offspring to life during its most memorable sequence) plays the flick’s main antagonist, the Still Life version of Captain Clark. And though there was some obvious CGI involved in making the character’s peg-leg and nightmarish face more believable, Bobroczkyi’s monstrous performance and his natural 7’7″ frame helped to make that final chase sequence a clear highlight among this year’s genre offerings.
The film’s Texas-Chain-Saw-inspired “dinner” scene also features a freaky collection of less-aggressive Still Life creatures in the form of the Bearded Man, the Red-Headed Woman and, strangest of them all, the cheekily named “Archibald Leland Sutter Still Life” (who earned this title among fans and crewmembers as a reference to his apparent affinity for lamps).
While this was the first major horror outing for both Patrick Baynham (The Bearded Man) and Dana Mahmood (Archibald), Rhiannon Roberts has worked as a stunt performer in everything from Yellowjackets to HBO’s The Last of Us adaptation – which is probably why The Red-Headed Woman is the most active out of Clark’s impromptu “family.” That being said, the Archibald Leland Sutter Still Life is my personal favorite of the bunch simply because his anachronistic outfit suggests that the Backrooms phenomenon might be a lot older than the Async Foundation. I also love how hard he tries to be helpful with that little light of his!
That might be it for the Still Life entities, but I think horror fans will also be pleased to hear that the film’s Found Footage prologue stars none other than Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City star Avan Jogia as Naren Warne – and American Mary herself Katharine Isabelle also shows up in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo at Mary’s house party towards the middle of the story (though I have a feeling that she originally had a bigger part that was likely cut for time).
At the end of the day, Parsons’ Backrooms may have been an auteur-driven project motivated by the young director’s unique take on the classic creepypasta, but film has always been a collective artform, so it’s fun to see just how many talented performers it takes to bring this kind of supernatural nightmare to life in a way that connects with so many people.
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