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5 Horror Movies That Shouldn’t Have Bombed!!!

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Box Office success has very little to do with a film’s actual quality. There are so many factors at play – the release date, the marketing campaign, the general mood of the moment or the studio dumping it. And sometimes, audiences are just too dumb to get it the first time around.

A surprising amount of the films we love and revere as classics today (though not every film on this list is thought of as such – some of them I just plain like) either flat-out bombed on their initial release or “underperformed” with regard to the expectations of the studio and filmmakers.

Head below for 5 Horror Movies That Shouldn’t Have Bombed!!!

The Thing (1982)

U.S. Box Office (Initial Release) – $13,782,838

One of the first times John Carpenter swung for the fences commercially. This film had his biggest budget to date but didn’t connect with audiences when it was released in 1982, the general consensus at the time being that the film was too “gross” and “mean.” Now, it’s a bona fide classic with widely praised FX work by Rob Bottin and a great ensemble performance. It’s also one of Carpenter’s most assured directorial outings (which is saying something), and carries an impressively sustained palpable sense of dread. Although it could have been worse, the 2011 version only made $17 Million on a $40 Million production budget.

Slither


U.S. Box Office – $7,802,450

I’ve already written at length (also here) about James Gunn’s wonderful Slither and the tragedy that befell this nation when we refused to collectively show up at the theaters. I take heart in the fact that Mr. Gunn will be owning us all by this time next year with Guardians Of The Galaxy.

Drag Me To Hell


U.S. Box Office – $42,100,62

This is one of those instances where the word “underperformed” is more appropriate than “bomb.” I sort of feel like if you make a horror movie and it makes over $40 million (with a $90 Million worldwide take in this case), you’ve kind of won. However, Universal Studios didn’t see it this way (likely due to the film’s wide release, P&A budget and PG-13 rating), and Sam Raimi himself I believe was disappointed in the film’s performance himself. None of that impinges upon my enjoyment though. It’s f*cking great.

Hostel Part II


U.S. Box Office – $17,609,452

This is another one of those instances where the movie I’m sure eventually made a little money on home video. After all, it only cost $10 Million to make and at that point the DVD/Blu market hadn’t eroded to the state that it’s in today. Still, as a fan of all of Eli Roth’s directorial efforts (though I have yet to see The Green Inferno), this film deserved better. It’s his best shot film, it’s got the most interesting ideas and it’s a cinematic leap forward ahead of anything he had done up until that point.

Jennifer’s Body


U.S. Box Office – $16,204,793

I’m not sure what happened here, aside from the fact that Jennifer’s Body was positioned as a horror comedy and those rarely do well. Still, it was interesting, gory and funny. Diablo Cody was still finding her voice at that point (I feel like her true abilities lie more in the Young Adult range than in Juno), but the script still works really well. And director Karyn Kusama was no slouch in visually or in terms of dragging the co-dependent dynamic out of Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. Also? Adam Brody is hilarious in it.

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Editorials

Tales from ‘Tales from the Crypt’: Exhuming Season Six’s “Only Skin Deep” Episode

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tales from the crypt only skin deep
Sherrie Rose as Molly and Peter Onorati as Carl in "Only Skin Deep".

The penultimate season of Tales from the Crypt (1989–1996) aired its first three episodes on October 31, so it’s understandable that at least one of those three stories is set on Halloween.

Sandwiched between “Let the Punishment Fit the Crime” (Russell Mulcahy, Ron Finley) and “Whirlpool” (Mick Garris, A. L. Katz & Gilbert Adler) is the most severe episode of the bunch. Maybe the entire series? William Malone and Dick Beebe’s “Only Skin Deep” traded the show’s typical sense of fun for startling amounts of bleakness and kink.

“Only Skin Deep” is, apart from the Crypt Keeper’s intro and outro, noticeably unfunny. There are no considerable attempts at making the viewer laugh. Come to think of it, if those bookends had been replaced, and there was more of a sci-fi element in the story, HBO could have easily squeezed this tale into that successor anthology, Perversions of Science (1997). In Crypt, though, “Only Skin Deep” is much too grim for an audience that had become accustomed to campiness and levity.

What makes “Only Skin Deep” feel dark, among other things, is its protagonist. Showing up to a Halloween party where he’s not welcome, and where his former girlfriend (Diane DiLasco) is attending, Carl Schlag (Peter Onorati) first comes across as your standard bitter ex. You soon realize it’s much worse than that, once Carl threatens Linda (“You know, silly me, thinking I gave you what you deserved. If I’d have done that, I’d have killed you”). Now, I haven’t forgotten that Tales from the Crypt was teeming with vile men who did women harm. Yet Carl’s brand of misogynistic menace hits differently—it borders on being too realistic for this kind of series.

tales from the crypt

Mike Vosburg’s EC-style comic cover for “Only Skin Deep”, as seen in the Tales from the Crypt episode.

Despite donning a party mask for much of the episode, Carl can’t ever mask his true nature. The invitation did saycome as you are, after all. That inability to change and be better, however, is why Carl ends up in such a karmic predicament. His outburst of anger at the party attracts the attention of one loner partygoer named Molly (Sherrie Rose, who was also in Season Four’sOn a Deadman’s Chest). Her bone-white, featurelessmaskand body-bag costume don’t initially register as too strange, especially on a night like this. But at a party chock-full of colorful, cartoonish, and lighthearted ensembles, it does look out of place.

Darkness attracts darkness as Carl ditches the party and accompanies the mysterious Molly to her place. Which, by the way, should have been an immediate red flag. But perhaps she’s so hot, he doesn’t seem to mind the serial killer aesthetic. Resembling a warehouse that has been converted into living spaces, but never then decorated to remove the cold, industrial look, Molly’s home (or lair) is as gloomy as this whole episode feels. It’s like the set of a grungy music video, albeit a tad cleaner. The environments in a typical Crypt episode tend to be small, overfilled, and broken-in. Warm, regardless of any weird goings-on. All that empty space in Molly’s hovel, on the other hand, elicits a creepy feeling that Carl was unwise to ignore.

Tales from the Crypt featured more sex than it didn’t, but hands down,Only Skin Deepboasts the steamiest scene in the show’s history. Pushing it over the line, in addition to Onorati showing bare buns and the camera never turning down one of his pelvic thrusts, is the twisted dirty talk. Carl stays in the moment, whereas Molly unleashes charged lines likethe hurt, the anger, give it to meandtake it out on my flesh like you want to. It’s all quite kinky, as well as tied into the story’s theme of pain.

How elseOnly Skin Deepdiffers from other episodes is its twists. Or rather, its lack thereof. Nothing comes as a great surprise here, particularly because the deuteragonist’s ulterior motives are so obvious. By no means is Molly a wolf in sheep’s clothing; her face is a fright mask, she practically reeks of death, and she lives in what can best be described as a serial killer’s hideout. That last-act revelation of Molly’s mask really being her face is also nothing shocking. Cleverness is certainly not this episode’s strength.

tales from the crypt

A page from “…Only Skin Deep!”, as seen in EC Comics’ Tales from the Crypt.

WhileOnly Skin Deepisn’t the most universally loved episode of Tales from the Crypt, it’s an interesting preview of William Malone’s future as a director. Most notably, he went on to helm House on Haunted Hill (1999) and FeardotCom (2002), the former of which was co-written by Dick Beebe, this episode’s writer. Dark Castle Entertainment, that genre house founded by Crypt producers Joel Silver, Robert Zemeckis, and Gilbert Adler, was instrumental in bringing out Malone’s gruesome, over-the-top vision in House on Haunted Hill. However, FeardotCom and Malone’s Masters of Horror episode,Fair-Haired Child, are the most stylistically compatible withOnly Skin Deep.

As one might guess, this episode is nothing like its source material. TheOnly Skin Deep!found in the pages of EC Comics is set during Mardi Gras in New Orleans, and save for its last couple of pages, is pretty sweet in nature. There, a man named Herbert is enamored with a woman he met five years prior to the present-day story. Every year, he has come down to Mardi Gras to see Suzanne, who’s always dressed as a hag-faced witch. Well, this time, Herbert plans on popping the question and marrying someone who is, for the most part, a total stranger. Suzanne accepts his proposal, but with one condition: they stay in costume until they’re officially hitched. You can probably see where this is going

Once they are married, Suzanne remains incognito, even when she and Herbert have consummated their vows. A semi-predictive nightmare then rattles Herbert; he dreamt that Suzanne’s real face was as wizened as her mask. Finally, in his haste to find out the truth, Herbert winds up killing his new wife. Faceless and well on her way to bleeding out, the dying Suzanne manages to say she never wore a mask.

For more traditional EC-style ghastliness, your best bet is reading the comic. It’s wickedly sad. For something less conventional, as far as Tales from the Crypt goes, the role-reversing adaptation is worth watching. It’s not the best this show had to offer, although Malone’s visual style, plus the sexual abandon, does set the episode apart. If nothing else,Only Skin Deepleaves an impression that, even years later, shows no signs of fading.

Season Six of Tales from the Crypt can be streamed on Shudder, starting on June 5.


Tales from Tales from the Crypt celebrates the show’s Shudder premiere by singling out one episode from each season. So don’t even think about changing that dial, boys and ghouls. More spot-“frights” are to come.

tales from the crypt

Carl discovers Molly’s collection of human ‘masks’ in the Tales from the Crypt episode, “Only Skin Deep”.

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