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5 Annoying Things Horror Games Need to Stop Doing

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Take Us Somewhere New

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There are very few things that I’m sure of, but one thing I know with certainty is that this world has no shortage of terrifying and very real places that would make excellent settings for horror games. I’m so sure of it that I went and dedicated a series to them.

With such a bounty of suitable locations left almost completely untouched, why do we keep returning to the same tired places every year? Cemeteries, sewers, mental hospitals, actual hospitals, space ships that look alarmingly similar to a rusty tin can covered in blood that no one in their right mind would ever volunteer to visit, much less live on. It’s the same environments, the places we’ve been trained to find unsettling. Why aren’t there more horror games set in the ocean or in caves — the few places that remain almost entirely untouched by humans.

The fact that we can boot up what my grandma refers to as “that box with the weird remote” and get transported to anywhere we like whenever we like (following a wait of 15 seconds to 30 minutes, depending on your console of choice) is one of the neatest things about video games. It’s one of the reasons why I’m a gamer and it’s why I tend to shy away from games that strive for realism. Why would I ever want to do stuff real people do as a job in something like Call of Duty when I can explore a colorful alien planet, turning whatever the planet’s version of woodland creatures would be into bright, pink and very dead pincushions with the super cool, pink spike-shooting gun I just found near a tree?

It really has nothing to do with one series being superior to the other, it’s just that I prefer to play games that don’t remind me of the place I’m looking to temporarily escape from. That goes for horror games, too.

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Gamer, writer, terrible dancer, longtime toast enthusiast. Legend has it Adam was born with a controller in one hand and the Kraken's left eye in the other. Legends are often wrong.

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Editorials

6 Dark Fantasy Films That Every Genre Fan Should Watch

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Dark Fantasy Films

From child-eating witches to village-burning dragons, fairy tales have always had a foot in the horror genre. That’s why it makes sense that, for every The Hobbit and The Chronicles of Narnia, there are also darker and more adult-oriented stories about magical worlds inhabited by ravenous monsters and cruel villains.

Funnily enough, these sinister tales were precisely the ones that I gravitated towards back when I was a kid, and I was reminded of this while watching Netflix’s recently released I Am Frankelda, Mexico’s first ever feature-length stop-motion animation and one hell of an entertaining parable about the intersection between fiction and reality.

In honor of this special kind of horror-adjacent fairy tale, today I’d like to share this list recommending six Dark Fantasy films that horror fans might enjoy.

For the purposes of this list, we’ll be defining Dark Fantasy as fantastical stories that don’t shy away from the more macabre elements that fuel classic fairy tales. That being said, don’t forget to comment below with your own grim favorites if you think we missed a particularly thrilling one.

With that out of the way, onto the list!


6. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

I’m fascinated by bizarre attempts at blockbuster filmmaking – especially when the resulting movies are somehow still fun despite their corporate-mandated origins. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is precisely one of these strangely compelling studio projects, as this surprisingly successful action-thriller boasts a lot of heart (and tongue-in-cheek humor) for a CGI-heavy creature feature.

Directed by Dead Snow’s Tommy Wirkola, Witch Hunters re-frames the classic fairy tale as an origin story for a duo of badass monster-slayers. Of course, it’s the flick’s anachronistic aesthetic and overall visual flair that make it stand out from other action-horror endeavors from around the same time.


5. The Wolf House (2018)

Made in the tradition of faux cursed films in the same vein as Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made, the eerie backstory to 2018’s Chilean animated flick The Wolf House (La Casa Lobo in the original Spanish) already makes it a nightmarish experience before the flick even really begins.

After all, the movie is presented to us as a faux propaganda film produced by the leader of a death cult (heavily inspired by the real life Colonia Dignidad), with this hybrid animated feature using complex movie magic to simulate a single uninterrupted shot as it tells the story of a lazy young girl who runs away from an isolated colony and encounters a creepy old house in the woods.


4. The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Out of all the Monty Python alumni, Terry Gilliam has had the most interesting career outside of the original comedy group. From fascinating canceled projects (such as his scrapped adaptation of Watchmen) to dystopian parodies that feel more relevant by the minute (1985’s Brazil), even his “lesser” films are still intriguing in their own way.

2005’s The Brothers Grimm is one such project, with this peculiar movie attempting to combine the comedian-turned-filmmaker’s unique visual style with a more blockbuster-oriented plot reimagining the titular brothers as con-artists rather than mere writers. The end result isn’t exactly a masterpiece, but it’s still a legitimately fun ride with plenty of memorable monsters and wonderful performances by both the late, great Heath Ledger and Matt Damon.


3. Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)

2010’s Dante’s Inferno game may have a reputation as something of an unapologetic God of War clone, but I’d argue that the now-obscure game was aesthetically unique enough to deserve a bigger fanbase. However, while the title remains trapped on the seventh console generation, its highly underrated anime adaptation is a lot easier to get a hold of!

Animated by 6 different studios in order to make the 9 circles of hell feel unique from each other, this may not be a completely faithful adaptation of Dante Alighieri’s poem, but it’s still one heck of a great (not to mention gory) time that I’d highly recommend to fans of Netflix’s take on Castlevania.


2. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

My personal favorite entry in the Underworld franchise, Rise of the Lycans, is a highly ambitious prequel that actually works better if you haven’t had the story spoiled to you by the previous Underworld films.

While the rest of the series features plenty of urban fantasy elements as the movies combine machine guns and modern environments with gothic storytelling, Patrick Tatopoulos’ prequel fully embraces its fantastical origins and tells a classic tale about a doomed romance between a werewolf and a vampire amid a medieval uprising.

And the best part is that we get a lot more Michael Sheen as the fan-favorite Lucian.


1. Solomon Kane (2011)

One of my personal favorite movies on this list, MJ Basset’s criminally underseen adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s other iconic warrior is thoroughly steeped in horror ambience and features plenty of memorable monsters. However, it’s also a classic origin story for a swashbuckling hero that wouldn’t feel out of place in a tabletop RPG.

While I’ve already written about how the film deftly combines both horror and fantasy elements without breaking the bank, I’ll never pass up an opportunity to recommend the bizarre movie where James Purefoy expertly plays a puritan John Wick.

It’s just too bad that we never got the other films in this intended trilogy.

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