Another one for the “Where are they now?” file: Verne Troyer. Yes, the man who will probably be known as Mini-Me (and his drunken exploits on The Surreal Life) for the rest of his career. That’s not being cruel, it’s the unfortunate truth. And now, here he is in Timothy Woodward Jr.’s and John Michael Elfers’ Gnome Alone. The title alone should really give you a clue as to how this one’s going to go.

After running afoul of a leprechaun (Travis Eberhard) (after trying to sucker him out of his gold), a witch (Rachel Pringle) is cursed with a mark by a priest. In retaliation, the witch conjure up a guardian gnome (Verne Troyer), who kills the priest who marked her. Once the witch dies, she passes on the mark to someone new, and in doing so, allows the gnome to protect them. Flash forward to today, where after a drunk driver hits a transient, college student Zoe (Kerry Knuppe) receives the mark as well as the gnome, who will do anything in his power to protect her from whomever it is that may cause her trouble.

Let’s get this out of the way: You know and I know that this film is going to be bad. It’s one of those films like Gingerdead Man or Sharknado. It knows that it’s a stinker, and takes glee in being bad. That’s fine for some people. Hell, I enjoyed Bad Taste and Killer Klowns From Outer Space, and still do! But there’s a fine line with a film like this that borders “so bad that it’s good” and “so bad that it’s frustrating and you want to take a power drill to your head”. With that out of the way, let’s move on.

Given that this is one of “those films”, good points are obviously hard to come by. That said, I will say that the filmmakers’ attempt to make Verne Troyer into Warwick Davis’ Leprechaun with a bit of Wishmaster thrown in is an interesting idea. It’s quite obvious he’s the film’s “star power”, even if we do get Bill Oberst Jr. showing up to do his thing (and Ross Bagley, aka Will Smith’s little cousin from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air). Troyer cops several feels, kills people in a variety of outlandish ways, hams it up with laughter (really, almost the entire script consists of him laughing), and spits out a few one-liners that admittedly made me smirk. Troyer’s makeup isn’t that bad, either.

So, the question: What kind of bad movie is this? Well, apart from a few performances, the acting is awful and annoying. The special effects are lame and the film doesn’t even attempt to hide the fact (apart from filming everything with ridiculously low light). The camerawork consists of so many quick cuts and shaky shots that you’ll get whiplash and nausea within the first 15 minutes. And the ending? Well, there’s left field, and then there’s whatever the hell this was. Needless to say, it involves a leprechaun in a wheelchair. This film really went beyond making a good bad movie, and instead went with the excuse of seeing Troyer running around in a lame costume, hamming it up. And believe me, it got old real fast.

As with bad movies of this type, there will always be people, who no matter what you say, will enjoy this type of film. I’m not one of them. Apart from seeing just how much Troyer could cheese it up, this was not an entertaining 94 minutes for me. Those of you who like Sharknado, 2-Headed Shark Attack and other films of those quality will probably get a kick out of this one. The rest of us will probably be praying for a quick death.

At least it’s better than Leprechaun: Origins.

Video/Audio:

The 1.78 anamorphic widescreen transfer is pretty average, overall. Colours reproduction is decent, though not particularly vibrant with anything really popping. The problem is only magnified during the darker scenes. Details in close-ups are alright. There’s no print damage or dirt to speak of.

As for the Dolby Digital 5.1 track, the dialogue is annoyingly quiet and not at all balanced with the rest of the track. Music and sound come through clear enough. Not much in terms of action in the directionals. Given the budget, this is an okay effort.

Extras:

The only extra is a 15-minute The Making Of Gnome Alone featurette. Featuring clips with Kerry Knuppe, Rachel Pringle and Verne Troyer, the whole thing is padded out with scenes from the film, and a few behind-the-scenes shots. As for the interviews, they’re nothing revelatory. Mostly, it’s discussions about the plot, Troyer’s acting, the makeup, and a few select scenes.

The film’s trailer is also included, as well as an Ultraviolet copy of the film.