I hate that I have to do this to you, but then again, maybe you’ll be able to come to a decision on this more easily than the flurry of pro/con lists, spreadsheets, Venn diagrams and street polling I had to endure. It’s just that I couldn’t let our first ever Week of Wake reach its conclusion without asking the one question that really matters: is Barry Wheeler a better Barry than Barry Burton?

Alan Wake may have his name on the box art, but don’t be fooled, the true star of the Alan Wake series is his cherubic sidekick, Barry. He’s the heart, soul and comedic relief in a world that’s been torn asunder by an ancient and seemingly omnipresent evil that’s responsible for all of the bad stuff that goes on in the once quiet town of Bright Falls.

Without Wheeler, Alan Wake would be a considerably darker game, tonally and in the sense that he wears a string of lights. He’s not just a supporting character, he’s the supporting character.

Then there’s Barry Burton, a gun aficionado who’s so passionate about his second amendment right his initials spell out a kind of ammunition. He was first introduced to us in the original Resident Evil, and if Resident Evil Revelations 2 proved anything, it’s that he hasn’t lost any of that secret sauce in the two decades since.

Burton’s the kind of guy who would be able to appreciate a “hammer the breech” joke both for its comedic value and for the knowledge of firearms such a joke would require to construct. He’s so great we dedicated an entire feature to celebrating him.

Both of these guys deserve recognition for what they’ve accomplished for Barry’s everywhere. If I were a Barry, I’d be Barry very thankful for this duo and the honor they’ve brought to the Barry name. They’re a couple of badass Barry’s, but a great man once said “There can be only one,” so it’s time to choose.

So tell me, which Barry Barry’d Best?