Connect with us

Home Video

[Review] ‘Camp Massacre’ Is An Insult On So Many Levels

Published

on

I’ve never been a fan of reality television. Even when Survivor premiered all those years ago, I thought that the whole thing screamed of desperation. Speaking of desperation, certain horror films reek of it, despite their initial appearance of trying something new. Enter Jim O’Rear’s and Daniel Emery Taylor’s Camp Massacre, formerly known as Fat Chance. You’d think that a reality show would be a prime area for horror, or at least parody horror. Heck, you have former pornstar Bree Olson and former wrestler Al Snow in on it, so the tongue-in-cheek potential is through the roof! Well, not really. Like many low budget bargain bin DVDs, you’ll see the all-too-familiar collapse happen within five minutes of the film starting.

Ten obese individuals have been selected to participate in a bootcamp weight-loss reality show. The winner is the one who loses the most weight, and snags a cool million dollars for their efforts. Unfortunately for them, as the competition begins to heat up, so does the body count. From the show’s host, Warren Gilley (co-director Jim O’Rear), to the intense physician Dr. Bartok (Carl Donovan) who developed the weight-loss regimen being used on the show, everyone’s a suspect.

For a film that was shot on a $10,000 budget, I have to give it to the filmmakers for attempting to make the film look something more than amateur. The camerawork is pretty good, and the soundtrack at least tries to not make it sound like someone hired their cousin to write the score. I have to hand it to O’Rear for pulling multiple roles in this film, seeing as he co-directed, edited, starred, and did the special effects for this one. There are also a couple of comedic moments that try to spice things up. And hey, genre vet Dick Warlock is in the film. Though why he did it, I don’t know.

Enough beating around the bush on Camp Massacre. This film is a turd if there ever was one. For starters, despite advertising Bree Olson on the front of the case, she’s only in the film for a glorified five minutes. And it was a totally irrelevant, since no one in that scene appeared for the rest of the film. Figures. The acting quality ranges from “okay cheese” to “flunked acting school”, since everything feels so stiff. G. Larry Butler is embarrassing as Coach T.A., trying to pull off R. Lee Ermey’s Sgt. Hartman and failing spectacularly. Al Snow is just obnoxious as Ritz, the show’s trainer. The only characters vaguely worth a damn, Megan Hunt’s Stefani and Nicholas Huntsman’s Jeremy, are only interesting by default due to the rest of the characters being so one-note unlikeable with mediocre acting. And hey, since this film involves lots of fat people, let’s dominate the script with tons of fat jokes. Those don’t get old fast.

Since this is supposed to be a slasher, you’d think that the action sequences would at least be given some attention, so as to not completely suck. But predictably, in this film they’re as lame and generic as you can get. Sure, it’s a high body count, but this is definitely quantity over quality. And it’s hard to have any sort of tension or excitement for these kills when a): your killer is wielding a machete so obviously plastic and fake, I’m surprised that you don’t see a sticker from Dollarama on it, and b): the killer (who is given next-to-nothing in terms of a motive, by the way) is wearing a bucket from not-KFC on his head. To add the final insult to a most grievous injury, the film clocks in at 129 minutes. No, that’s not a typo. This film is literally over two hours long. That’s beyond agonizing, especially when the film moves at a handicapped snail’s pace, coupled with the previously-mentioned garbage.

Wait, I tell a lie. The final insult is the DVD’s cover art, which not only messes up the positioning of the actors’ names with their appearance on the cover, the back cover features Bree Olson with an incredibly bad Photoshop job of her hand holding the machete from the front cover, complete with fuzzy clonestamp marks in a vain attempt to hide the fact that it still looks like the machete was just pasted onto her hand.

Chronic movie alcoholics unite! You have a new champ to get loaded on. Sure, you’ll probably die of alcohol poisoning before Camp Massacre hits the halfway point, but it’s better than sitting through all 129 minutes of bad acting, bad dialogue with unfunny jokes and lame kills. How and why this film was selected for the two festivals it claims on the back of its case, I have no idea. By no means should you watch this without someone having 911 on speed dial. Jim O’Rear and Daniel Emery Taylor I guess can take solace with what they were able to do on $10K, but the results simply weren’t worth the DVDs that were pressed.

Video/Audio:

The 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer looks pretty good, with accurate colours and no real glaring grain. Black levels are also good, especially in the darker scenes. It’s really your typical low-budget film with a standard definition source. Acceptable, but nothing spectacular.

Audio-wise, the Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo track suffers a bit from muffled dialogue and some echo, but overall there’s no major distortion. Again, it’s okay, given the source.

Supplements:
The only extra is the film’s trailer. And that’s enough for me.

Home Video

‘Lisa Frankenstein’ Shambles Onto Blu-ray in April With Audio Commentary and Deleted Scenes

Published

on

lisa frankenstein trailer 2

The horror-comedy Lisa Frankenstein is headed home to physical media, with the film zombie-walking its way onto DVD and Blu-ray from Universal on April 9, 2024.

Directed by Zelda Williams and written by Diablo Cody (Juno, Jennifer’s Body), Lisa Frankenstein will also be available for a lower price on Digital beginning March 29.

Special Features include:

  • Audio commentary by director Zelda Williams
  • An Electric Connection featurette
  • Resurrecting the ‘80s featurette
  • A Dark Comedy Duo featurette
  • 5 deleted scenes
  • Gag reel

Meagan Navarro wrote in her review for Bloody Disgusting,” Billed as a coming-of-rage tale, Lisa Frankenstein instead offers a celebration of outcasts and weirdos.”

“It makes for a sugary sweet, almost wholesome effort held together by a trio of infectiously winsome performances,” Meagan’s review continued. She added, “As a celebration of teen girls and outcasts who just want to be loved, Lisa Frankenstein ultimately charms.”

Kathryn Newton (Freaky) and Cole Sprouse (“Riverdale”) lead the cast for Focus Features, and the new film is rated “PG-13” for “bloody images and sexual material.”

Carla Gugino (The Fall of the House of Usher), Liza Soberano (Alone/Together), Joe Chrest (Stranger Things) and Henry Eikenberry (The Crowded Room) also star.

[Related] ‘Lisa Frankenstein’ and ‘Jennifer’s Body’: A Match Made in Hot Pink Heaven

In Lisa Frankenstein, “Set in 1989, the film follows an unpopular high schooler who accidentally re-animates a handsome Victorian corpse during a lightning storm and starts to rebuild him into the man of her dreams using the broken tanning bed in her garage.”

Here’s the full official plot synopsis: “A coming of RAGE love story about a misunderstood teenager and her high school crush, who happens to be a handsome corpse. After a set of playfully horrific circumstances bring him back to life, the two embark on a murderous journey to find love, happiness… and a few missing body parts along the way.”

Continue Reading