Whatever form Nintendo’s next console takes, it will need to be considerably more impressive than I imagine it will be in order to win back the favor of the publishers who, for some reason, have supported their last two platforms by dragging their horror exclusives to The Big N’s sacrificial altar so they could be euthanized by a hooded Mario and Co.

Most of you are likely already familiar with the record Nintendo set with the Wii, which spent a few years battling Capcom for the title these companies must get for upsetting the most horror fans. Who won that fight is anyone’s guess, and it really doesn’t matter anyway since Konami set a new record just this year.

At this point, the Wii U has the same bright future as that character in every zombie movie who waits for a dramatic time to reveal they’ve been bitten. They’re clearly doomed, it’s really just a matter of who gets to shoot them in the head before they can cause any more harm.

ZombiU fell flat right out the gate because it released on a platform that’s become infamous for not giving a spicy damn about the horror genre. It did this with no competition, above average acclaim — relative to the middling receptions many launch titles receive — and far more time in the spotlight than it would have enjoyed had it not been the only reason to own a Wii U at launch.

Despite all that and how easy it would have been to look at the sales figures for literally any Wii-exclusive horror game, it happened, and now it’s shambled onto PC, PS4 and Xbox One under the guise of being a remaster.

And it is that. A remaster, I mean. It’s just not a very good one.

It’s nice to see a developer that isn’t afraid to try new things with a new IP. It’s one of the reasons why ZombiU felt so refreshing, because we don’t see many video games that are resourceful enough to make do with the limited capabilities of their platform, and fewer still that accomplish this while simultaneously daring us to play them by building an unforgiving world inspired by the roguelike genre.

Zombi was good enough when it had an extra vowel in its name that it didn’t need to do much to earn my praise. With an ultra-budget $20 price tag, all it had to do was make the base game noticeably better. It already has the benefit of being playable using either of the objectively superior PS4 or Xbox One controllers, and that’s almost enough of a reason to give it a go right there.

There are some improvements to be had, of course. It sports a wider field-of-view, tweaked controls and two new weapons that only make me more curious as to why there aren’t more things I make into weapons when every Home Depot on the planet is calling out to me, one of the few survivors in a zombie epidemic, like a Siren with a tool belt.

If you’re wondering why I didn’t mention “enhanced visuals” in that list, it’s because in this instance, the term is objective. Seeing more of the world around my character was a welcome change, but any improvements they might’ve made to the world itself either aren’t there or they’re too subtle to make an impact.

There’s also the issue of the HUD. The loss of the Wii U’s precious second screen left Ubisoft with a problem that, as far as I can tell, didn’t have a “good” solution. The only option was to move the mini-map, radar and inventory to the only screen available. The additional on-screen clutter was unavoidable, but the same cannot be said about the scanning, which feels clumsier in this version than it did when we had the GamePad.

You might have heard about its local multiplayer mode, and if you haven’t, all you need to know is that it actually made the game better. When many horror games are still struggling to find inventive ways to shoehorn implement multiplayer modes, this criminally underappreciated gem of a game turned a feature that still gets criticized for not having a place in the genre.

It was a wonderful thing to see come to a brand new console, and before Ubisoft confirmed Zombi would be one of those rare re-releases that actually removed content, I wouldn’t have been surprised had they announced they were bringing it online.

At least we can punish ghouls for being as dead and dumb as a dead, dumb doornail by bludgeoning them until they’re super dead with that fancy new cricket bat. Choose the Britain flag-themed cricket bat, give it a name like Big Ben, and you can rid the world of meandering eyesores and honor the Queen. I’m sure they have a medal of valor for that.

ZombiU was better than it had any right to be, and that was partly because of the clever use of its platform, such as the Wii U’s GamePad, which played a pivotal role in the local multiplayer and backpack interface. With the former missing, the latter changed for the worse and only minor tweaks to improve upon the core game, Zombi is a tough sell if you never caught it the first time around.

In its move to PC, PS4 and Xbox One, Zombi lost more than the letter that shackled it to Nintendo’s dying platform. This feels like it was rushed, and that’s disappointing because it has enough good ideas and raw potential to become a promising new survival horror franchise.

You might remember the time Ubisoft played the role of the parent who’s frustrated when they aren’t able to coach their kid into reaching his/her potential. I suppose that makes us the aunts and uncles who are concerned when that parent decides to solve that problem by enrolling the kid in a new school. We don’t necessarily have anything invested in the kid’s success, but it would’ve been nice to see them succeed.

The Final Word: As much as I’d like to give Zombi two thumbs up, all I can spare is a thumb and a nub. At $20, it’s worth it, though I might suggest you lower your expectations going in.