Movies
13 Hours in a Warehouse (V)
“Aside from an unintentionally hilarious scene with dead rats being set up on what looked like a dining room play set, there’s nothing particularly entertaining or original about 13 HOURS IN A WAREHOUSE. Sure, it lives up to its title, seeing as it provides a warehouse, but that doesn’t mean it had to feel like it was thirteen hours long.”
After a successful heist, five thieves decide to hold up for the night in an abandoned warehouse while they wait for their buyer to show up. Throwing their hostage Jennifer (Meisha Johnson) into a back room, the band of purloiner’s plan to sit around and chew the fat about anything that strikes their fancy: Robin Williams, masturbation and basically everything a horny 17 year old would talk about at great lengths. Up until this point, I thought that Dav Kaufman’s directorial debut, 13 HOURS IN A WAREHOUSE, was just a bizarro version of RESERVOIR DOGS and an unengaging one at that. Unfortunately, it isn’t just one film thats being ripped off in this production; its a whole slew of them
While bound and gagged, Jennifer is visited by a sympathetic spectre, appearing to to her as a garbled television signal (*cough* THE RING *cough*), who releases her. Meanwhile, Randy (Chars Bonin) and Mike (Daniel Salmen), the two brothers in the gang of robbers, realize that the warehouse they’re currently hiding out in and the one where their father used to shoot pornos is one and the same (how convenient!). And by pornos, I mean snuff films. We’re then treated to a second half that is basically 8MM with a few ghosts thrown in the mix.
13 HOURS mainly suffers from a really bad script. I’d say at least twenty to thirty minutes could have been cut out of the film, accounting for almost all of the aimless and boring conversations about nothing that take place throughout. It’s astounding how anyone with a word processor and a camera thinks they can do Tarantino. I got news for you guys: even QT’s conversations are a bit tedious at times. But at least he, more often than not, strikes a good balance between nonsense and meaningful plot driven dialogue. Having a conversation about nothing is indeed a very common and natural occurrence but when I watch a movie, I want to be entertained, not hear people talk below their intelligence level. There’s nothing realistic about a group of thieves, all of which look like they’re in their mid-twenties to early thirties, talking about giving themselves “the stranger”. I’m not as old as the characters in the film are suppose to be and even I quit joking around about that sort of stuff a few years ago so I can’t imagine a group of supposedly hardened, gritty criminals, who don’t appear to value human life in the slightest, giving pet names to their right hands. It doesn’t help matters that all of the acting comes off as amateurish, straddling the line between minimalistic and over-the-top at random.
Aside from an unintentionally hilarious scene with dead rats being set up on what looked like a dining room play set, there’s nothing particularly entertaining or original about 13 HOURS IN A WAREHOUSE. Sure, it lives up to its title, seeing as it provides a warehouse, but that doesn’t mean it had to feel like it was thirteen hours long.
Just three years after Evil Dead Rise set the box office on fire with a $147 million worldwide haul, Evil Dead Burn was unleashed into theaters this past weekend. Unfortunately, the opening weekend for Evil Dead Burn wasn’t quite as strong as the debut for its predecessor.
Evil Dead Burn debuted in 3,004 theaters across North America and scared up $13.7 million in its domestic debut, about $10 million less than Evil Dead Rise‘s $24.5 million opening.
Worldwide, Evil Dead Burn debuted with $25 million. Given the film’s production budget was somewhere in the ballpark of $20 million, all is certainly not lost for Evil Dead Burn. That said, Warner Bros. and New Line no doubt hoped that Burn would top or at least match the domestic opening of Rise, but instead we’re looking at a case of diminishing franchise returns.
The good news for fans? Next installment Evil Dead Wrath has already wrapped production for expected release in 2028, so there’s no danger of the franchise ending with Evil Dead Burn.
Evil Dead Wrath from director Francis Galluppi (The Last Stop in Yuma County) is currently set for theatrical release on April 7, 2028, though that could change in the coming months.
Will the Evil Dead franchise be taking a break after Evil Dead Wrath? That all depends on how Wrath performs at the box office. But for what it’s worth, the post-credits scene at the end of Evil Dead Burn suggests that the franchise’s creators are hopeful for a bright future ahead.
The critical reception for Evil Dead Burn was a bit less positive than the reception to Evil Dead Rise, with Rise hitting 85% on Rotten Tomatoes and Burn currently sitting at 71%. It’s interesting to note, however, that the “Popcornmeter” on Rotten Tomatoes is a bit higher for Burn than it was for Rise, with Burn‘s currently at 80% and Rise‘s sitting a tad lower at 76%.
The site’s “Popcornmeter” scores are decided by users, rather than verified movie critics.
Which do you prefer? Evil Dead Rise or Evil Dead Burn? Sound off below.
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