Movies
Tales from the Darkside: Season One (V)
“Though billing itself as straight-up horror, the respective moods and tones of the individual episodes are deliriously uneven, with the series frequently wandering from its horror base camp into the dubious realm of lightweight fantasy or horror-comedy. “
Tales From the Darkside—a syndicated horror anthology series originally broadcast from 1983-88—is remembered more for narrator Paul Sparer’s ominous preamble (“a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit”) than its mind-blowing episodes. A general dearth of televised anthology series followed the cancelation of Night Gallery in 1973, but after the unexpected box office success of Creepshow (’82), the George Romero-produced Tales From the Darkside helped jump-start a new wave of televised anthologies, paving the way for programs like The New Twilight Zone (1985-89), Amazing Stories (1985-87) and the far gorier Monsters (1988-91).
Though billing itself as straight-up horror, the respective moods and tones of the individual episodes are deliriously uneven, with the series frequently wandering from its horror base camp into the dubious realm of lightweight fantasy or horror-comedy. CBS Studios’ DVD release of Tales From the Darkside: Season 1—24 episodes on 3 discs—serves as a cultural barometer indicating how far horror television has progressed during the past 25 years. Even the best episode of Tales From the Darkside looks like a Junior High stage production when compared to network mediocrity like Fear Itself. Still, nostalgia is a force to be reckoned with, and even the haters will concede that a handful of episodes are worth remembering:
”Inside the Closet”—Not the study in adolescent homosexual angst that the title suggests, Tom Savini’s directorial debut is easily the best episode of Season 1. An introverted student rents a room in the spacious home of a leering professor, but things get creepy as she begins to suspect that something is living in her bedroom closet. The make-up maestro paces the action like the proverbial baby bear: not too fast, not too slow, but juuuuust right. The excellent creature effects stamp Savini’s fingerprints all over this memorable ep.
“Trick or Treat”—The pilot episode, about a cranky old moneylender who forces his creditors’ children to walk through his house of spooks each Halloween, is a creaky bore until the third act, when the appearance of a vengeful witch finally kicks the party into gear. Although tame by today’s standards, the episode’s third-act depictions of hell were lurid enough to convince television programmers to pick up the series.
Case of the Stubborns”A daughter and grandson (a young, obviously eager Christian Slater) mourn the death of Grandpa the previous evening, and are stunned when his partially decomposing body descends the stairs the next morning, wanting breakfast. They solicit the help of their local preacher (Brent “Data” Spiner), who convinces the family that they will need to “prove” to Grandpa that he has passed away, or else his rotting, undead body will be hanging around forever. A talky episode belabored by a shitload of stilted attempts at comedy, most of which are centered around Grandpa’s “humorous” refusal to die. Although it’s a decent episode, its status as fan favorite is hard to comprehend.
Anniversary Dinner–An elderly couple living up in the mountains take in a female hiker after her boyfriend ditches her for bigger and better trails. The woman hiker digs the attention, the married geezer couple seems awful lonely, so it all seems to be working out for everyone. Until events take an ominous turn (of course). A diverting episode with some good acting, but you can see the end coming from light years away.
Each subsequent season of Tales From the Darkside roughly mirrored the good cpisoded/bad episode ratio of Season 1: About 1 in 6. This is one of those rare television series that warrants a “greatest hits” DVD release, rather than each individual season being released in its ultra-lame entirety.
DVD ExtrasThe pilot episode, “Trick or Treat”, features a sporadic and dismissive commentary from producer George Romero. Seriously, he only talks about 25% of the time, and when he is talking, he’s referring to the Tales episodes as “silly little things”.
One of the all-time foundational fixtures in horror is the vampire. That means over a century’s worth of bloodsuckers in film, in various styles and mythology, from across the globe.
As prominent as this movie monster is, with dozens of adaptations of Bram Stoker’s Dracula alone, there’s an overwhelming selection of vampire fare that makes it easy for many worthwhile gems to fall through the cracks. This week’s streaming picks are dedicated to underseen vampire horror movies worth seeking out.
As always, here’s where you can stream them this week.
For more Stay Home, Watch Horror picks, click here.
Mr. Vampire – The Criterion Channel – Plex, the Roku Channel
This supernatural genre-bender from director Ricky Lau stands far apart from standard vampire fare thanks to its comedy, martial arts, and jiangshi. Taoist priest Master Kau (Lam Ching-ying) guards the realm of the living by maintaining control over the area’s hopping vampires, and other restless spirits. When Master Kau is hired to oversee the reburial of an affluent town elder, he and his two bumbling assistants find themselves in a supernatural battle to the death when the elder’s corpse resurrects as jiangshi. Produced by martial artist and Hong Kong cinema legend Sammo Hung, Mr. Vampire was a huge box office success in Hong Kong and launched a franchise. Still, it’s a charming, lively horror comedy that could use more love among contemporary audiences.
My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To – Plex, Prime Video, SCREAMBOX
Writer/Director Jonathan Cuartas‘s feature debut feels like a spiritual sibling to We Are What We Are in many ways. Both offer meditative, brooding depictions of isolated families far removed from the rest of the world. Both families are willing to commit unspeakable acts on behalf of their loved ones. In this case, siblings Dwight (Patrick Fugit) and Jessie (Ingrid Sophie Schram) find themselves routinely tasked with murder so their sickly younger brother Thomas (Owen Campbell, Super Dark Times) can have the fresh blood to survive. In the vein of The Transfiguration or Martin, this brooding debut feature grounds its vampirism in reality and focuses on the constricting, devastating toll of familial obligation.
The Night of the Devils – Kanopy
A disturbed man, Nicola, recounts the story of getting stranded in the woods, only to find refuge in a charming family’s house. The longer he’s there, the more he uncovers something is deeply amiss. Witches, vampires, and sordid family secrets ensue. Like Mario Bava’s anthology segment “The Wurdulak” in Black Sabbath, The Night of the Devils is also based on The Family of the Vourdalak by Aleksey Konstantinovich Tolstoy. Director Giorgio Ferroni balances the gore and sleaze with haunting Gothic atmosphere and stunning cinematography. While it’s methodical in its buildup, the craftmanship and grim ending make this underseen Italian and Spanish co-production worth the watch.
Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat – Fandango at Home (formerly Vudu), Plex, the Roku Channel
Director Anthony Hickox (Waxwork, Hellraiser III) has a blast with his high concept horror comedy that sees vampires living in the reclusive desert town Purgatory. They seek a peaceful life, with the plan to get an artificial blood factory in operation. Everything goes off without a hitch until Van Helsing’s descendant, Robert Van Helsing (Bruce Campbell), arrives in town. It’s a vampire western horror comedy that lovingly pokes fun at vampire tropes. The simple setup becomes anything but thanks to town politics, new tourists, and Van Helsing’s irresistibility to a vampire (Deborah Foreman). David Carradine presides over the vampire hijinks as Count Jozek Mardulak. For those looking for something fun and lighthearted, this pick is your best bet.
Vamp – AMC+, Plex, the Roku Channel, Shudder, Tubi
This highly entertaining horror comedy features a vampire that doesn’t get nearly enough attention; Grace Jones exudes raw power as vamp Katrina. Robert Rusler and Chris Makepeace star as two fraternity pledges that venture into the city to hire a stripper, all to impress their frat brothers. They find themselves in a shady part of town, unaware that the dive bar they’ve entered is full of vampires. Naturally, they find themselves in an all-night battle for survival. The neon haze-soaked urban setting makes for a refreshing change of pace. The bromance between the leads is as sweet as it is funny. Most of all, though, watch for Grace Jones’ riveting performance.
Looking for New Episodes of “Chucky” on Peacock? Here’s What Changed
‘Mountain Man’ – Joe Manganiello Will Battle Zombies in Upcoming Horror Movie
‘The Blair Witch Project’ – Original Stars Release a Statement Asking Lionsgate for Residuals & Recognition
‘Trap’ – Official Trailer Previews a Wild New Horror Experience from M. Night Shyamalan
‘Halloween: Illustrated’ Review: Original Novelization of John Carpenter’s Classic Gets an Upgrade
You must be logged in to post a comment.