Movies
Primal (VOD)
“For all others and in all fairness, Primal is just crap. It’s that simple. Kill the hype now!”
I liked Wolf Creek just as much as the next guy. I liked Rogue even better. But those two flicks doesn’t mean that Australia is a new breeding ground for well-executed and all-round awesome horror-flicks. Quite the contrary, as films like Red Hill, Road Train and Primal have now shown. I’m saying this because the success of Greg McLean’s two lean films (bad pun intended) is the only source I can possibly think of for the hype that has surrounded Primal since it’s earliest teasing tidbits surfaced online.
Why the fuck anyone would buy into the hype after watching the trailer is completely beyond me, but even though that’s been out for ages people are apparently still looking forward to this crapfest. Stop! Stop now! Primal plays out like nothing more than a weak episode of the X-Files sans the FBI. The premise is kinda cool, the execution is awful and every single time the movie gears up to show some balls it eventually chickens out leaving it all the more frustrating. The only redeeming factor here is that the storyline gets so ridiculous and nonsensical towards the end that Primal ends up as a so-horribly-bad-you-have-to-laugh kinda film.
So, yeah, in case you haven’t seen the trailer and have gotten the entire storyline delivered to you there, the film goes something like this: Six friends are camping and gearing up for sex in the Australian outback. They decide they have to walk through an old cave, that we know to be dangerous because we’ve seen the opening scene where an aboriginal caveman gets attacked by some false teeth and a loud noise. Having passed through the evil cave one of the hot chicks decides to skinny dip in an evil lake which causes her to grow some false teeth of her own and attack her friends while making loud noises.
From here on it’s one terribly executed scene after another. From the guys and gals arguing over who get’s to kill the next guy who’s infected by the monster-virus to the unintentionally funny “fights” and “jumps” and all the way through to the amazingly stupid climax of bad CGI. The most frustrating thing about Primal, though, isn’t the nonsense of the dialogue, the fact that it features the single most annoying character I can recall or the unintentional comedy of the gore and action scenes. No, the one thing that really pissed me off, is that every time the script actually sports an interesting idea or intriguing concept, the filmmakers back out and don’t follow through. I mean, it’s a cool idea, that the primitive monster-people should have animalistic sex, but when it’s plainly obvious that they’re still wearing shorts, then the scene won’t have the emotional punch it apparently still has on the annoying guy. Primal is littered with these moments that could have worked, had the filmmakers had the chops to follow through.
Once I realized that this wasn’t a well-executed tale of panic and desperation, nor an ironic piece of genre-cinema (there’s a lot of Cabin Fever in here actually) – once I realized it was just badly acted crap – I started laughing. And thank bejesus for that! ‘Cause once you start laughing, the last 30 minutes are so over the top ridiculous, I actually left the cinema with a smile on my face instead of the horrible feeling of wasting my time that should have been there. I guess I’d only recommend this to people who enjoy watching filmmakers fail. For all others and in all fairness, Primal is just crap. It’s that simple. Kill the hype now!
The holiday weekend means a light week for new horror releases, but it does bring the return of Dark Castle Entertainment to select theaters. It’s being joined by 6 new horror movies.
Here’s all the new horror releasing June 29, 2026 – July 3, 2026!
For daily reminders about new horror releases, be sure to follow @HorrorCalendar.
You wished for it. The highest-grossing horror movie of the year (so far), Curry Barker’s Obsession, arrived on Digital on June 30.
In Curry Barker’s theatrical debut Obsession, after breaking the mysterious One Wish Willow to win his crush’s heart, a hopeless romantic finds himself getting exactly what he asked for but soon discovers that some desires come at a dark, sinister price.
Michael Johnston (“Teen Wolf”), Inde Navarette (“Superman & Lois”), Cooper Tomlinson (“That’s a Bad Idea,” Milk & Serial), Megan Lawless (The Death That Awaits), and Emmy Award-nominee Andy Richter (“Conan,” Elf) star.
Based on a story by director James Kondelik (Behind The Walls) and a screenplay by Canadian writer Victor Rose, survival thriller Pitfall headed home to Digital on June 30. Family is murder in this Cineverse release.
In Pitfall, a young man becomes separated from his friends in the woods and plunges into a ten-foot pit lined with spikes, impaling his leg and leaving him helpless. As reality sinks in and his situation grows dire, he realizes the fall wasn’t an accident.
The film stars Richard Harmon (Final Destination: Bloodlines), Alexandra Essoe (The Pope’s Exorcist), and UFC champion Randy Couture (The Expendables) as the ruthless killer who stalks his prey in the woods. Marshall Williams (The Ice Road), Jordan Claire Robbins (The Umbrella Academy), and Matt Hamilton (Murder for Sale) also star.
The Amityville IP leans into Jaws with Amityville Shark House, just in time for the Fourth of July holiday too, as it released on Digital June 30.
Will Collazo Jr. (Amityville Thanksgiving) and Shawn C. Phillips (Amityville Karen) co-direct from a script they wrote with Julie Anne Prescott.
In the movie, after discovering an ominous shark idol hidden beneath the decaying floorboards, Richard unknowingly awakens an ancient and savage force. As the entity begins to merge with him, a quiet coastal town descends into blood-soaked chaos.
With each victim claimed, the monstrous predator grows stronger, fueling a cult’s belief that their dark god has been reborn. Now, the race is on to stop the carnage before evil consumes everything in its path.
Phillips and Prescott also star alongside Tasha Tacosa, Maritza Brikisak, Gigi Gustin (The Retaliators), Adam Marino, and Carl Solomon.
Available on Digital, Blu-ray, and DVD as of June 30 is Jacked, directed by John Fucile from a script he co-wrote with Simon Fraser.
The synopsis: “Set in the summer of 1987, JACKED follows two small-town teenagers whose day at the lake turns into a fight for survival after their car breaks down and they encounter a violent stalker.”
Marla Jean Robison, Tom Koch, Anthony Cipriani, Wynn Reichert, Kam Perez and Bella Marie star.
Get ready to work up a killer sweat and maybe spill some blood with Slashercise, a workout meets slasher hybrid that arrived exclusively on Bloodstream on July 1.
Written and directed by Ama Lea (Deathcember), the retro-styled feature follows “a masked killer known only as Meathead as he stalks the fitness clubs of Los Angeles, turning workout sessions into blood-soaked nightmares. As the city’s top trainers are picked off one by one, a group of determined fitness fanatics must fight back before they become the next bodies on the mat.”
Vanessa Decker (Stiletto), John Bloom (The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs), Spencer Charnas (Ice Nine Kills), Sarah French (Blind), Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet), Sarah Nicklin (V/H/S/Halloween), Diana Prince (The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs), Jared Rivet (The Once and Future Smash), Felissa Rose (Sleepaway Camp), Tiffany Shepis (Victor Crowley), and Lisa Wilcox (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) star.
After a record-breaking box office run, A24 and director Kane Parsons’ feature debut is heading back to theaters with bonus footage. AMC Theatres is unleashing Backrooms: Everything Must Go Editiontoday, July 3.
In the film written by Will Soodik, the owner of Cap’n Clark’s Ottoman Empire discovers a strange doorway in the basement of the furniture showroom. He sets out to explore the mysterious, liminal space, walking headfirst into a creepypasta nightmare.
Chiwetel Ejiofor and Renate Reinsvestar.
AMC describes this release as a “theatrically exclusive post-credit” with additional footage from Kane Parsons. Expect 16 minutes of bonus footage, with the new version clocking in at 2 hours and 6 minutes.
The Last Exorcism director Daniel Stamm and Dark Castle Entertainment are back with Lockbox, in select theaters July 3. It adapts Soren Narnia‘s Knifepoint Horror Podcast story “Winthrop” by Emmy-winning playwright Justin Yoffe.
In Lockbox, “Seeking peace after her mother’s death, Ellen retreats to a rural town and takes in her severely traumatized cousin Winthrop. Their fragile domestic balance shatters when an erratic neighbor warns that Winthrop is dangerous. As strange phenomena escalate, Ellen must put everything on the line to defend Winthrop from a dangerous otherworldly entity determined to track him down.”
Lou Taylor Pucci (Touch Me, Evil Dead), Carla Gugino (The Haunting of Hill House, Gerald’s Game, The Fall of the House of Usher) and Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps, Backrooms) star.
This week’s new release roundups are presented by Lockbox.
Be careful who you let in. Carla Gugino and Lou Taylor Pucci star in Lockbox, only in select theaters this Friday. Get tickets.
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