Movies
Bag of Bones (TV)
“Let’s be honest, there no way that even the juiciest of gore was ever gonna save an endeavor as silly as ‘Bag of Bones’, an adaptation that was destined to be weak sauce from the very beginning. It’s one of those King movies that’s all bark and no bite. And it never really had any bark to begin with.”
Adapting the works of Stephen King for the big screen is always a tricky proposition. Richly drawn characters are his strong suit, but trying to convey his characters’ constant internal monologues can prove troublesome for screenwriters. This is especially true of Bag of Bones, King’s 1998 “comeback” novel about a successful writer struggling with the accidental death of his doting wife. Back in ‘98, both readers and critics lauded King’s newfound literary style, but the private thoughts and feelings of grieving protagonist Michael Noonan dominate the narrative, making for a difficult film adaptation. A&E recently bunted this Pierce Brosnan starring two-parter onto the airwaves, and in the hands of screenwriter Matt Venne and frequent King hack artist Mick Garris, King’s beautiful novel is both padded out and stripped to the bone. Out with the rich characters, in with the dream sequences. And oh, those dream sequences.
After his wife is killed by the oft-utilized CGI bus wipe, Michael Noonan retreats to a lake house to cope with the tragedy and work on his new novel. While at the lake house, Noonan encounters a host of distractions: single mom Melissa George, ghostly messages from beyond the grave…and a fuckton of visions. The paranormal activity is standard-issue King––phantom lines on the laptop, spectral fridge magnets, etc.––but the dream sequences…well, they spiral completely out of control. After a commercial-free initial 30 minutes, A&E really started packing in the ads, and sometimes, believe it or not, the dream sequences were layered three deep between commercial breaks. I’m not kidding. During Part One in particular, the prevailing pattern went: dream sequence, ponderous dialogue scene, dream sequence, dream sequence, then back to commercial. If you removed the dream sequences and commercial breaks, Bag of Bones would be 20 minutes long.
In his defense, Brosnan seems to be taking the proceedings seriously…perhaps a little too seriously. He chews every scene with a neck-vein bulging intensity, even when his dialogue approaches the ludicrous. One has to wonder if he ever got around to watching Garris’ finished product (“It’s a good one,” Brosnan bragged to Craig Ferguson last week, without a hint of irony).
Surprisingly, Garris‘ endgame flaunts some juicy gore, but it all comes in the form of insert shots, which indicates that some sad-sack second unit filmed spurting blood around a stunt double while Brosnan kicked it in his trailer with a mocha latte. But let‘s be honest, there no way that even the juiciest of gore was ever gonna save an endeavor as silly as Bag of Bones, an adaptation that was destined to be weak sauce from the very beginning. It’s one of those King movies that’s all bark and no bite. And it never really had any bark to begin with.
The 30th edition of the Fantasia International Film Festival commences this week in Montreal, running from July 16 through August 2. It’s set to unleash 125 features and 200+ shorts, from new premieres to festival favorites.
That includes screenings of upcoming theatrical releases Buddy, Colony, Her Private Hell, Hot Spot, and Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma, as well as retrospective screenings of Pontypool and Gozu. But so much of the fun of Fantasia is the new film discoveries and surprises, and this year’s fest comes packed with potential.
Here are eight horror movies to keep an eye out for at this year’s fest.
Big Break
New York’s cult comedy darlings Simple Town are carving their way into horror with this comedic feature. In Big Break, Will (Will Niedmann), Caroline (Caro Yost), and Felipe (Felipe Di Poi Tamargo, Blood Barn) reunite with their estranged ex-collaborator Sam (Samuel Lanier) years after their sketch group disbanded, hoping to get in his good graces to appear in the sequel of his hit film. But dark secrets are exposed during their weekend getaway, forcing these washed-up comedians to learn what it really means to kill to get their big break. Art imitating life in a witty horror-comedy sounds like a blast.
Corpus
An invite to a secluded party with his longtime crush and rising film star instead unfurls a strange nightmare of sensual and supernatural proportions. Corrin Evans’ feature debut is set in the summer of 1998, capturing a stylish, transgressive web of seduction and terror. The film stars Jeff Wahlberg (“Euphoria”), Brodie Townsend (“Heartbreak High”), Michael Vlamis (“Pools”), Lily Cowles (Antebellum), Nuha Jes Izman (“Yellowjackets”) and Ching Valdes-Aran (The Equalizer).
Freaks Part II
Final Destination Bloodlines filmmakers Zach Lipovsky & Adam Stein return to their mutant roots with their follow-up to 2018’s Freaks. Picking up several years later, Mary (Amanda Crew, Freaks) and her daughter Chloe (Lorelei Olivia Mote, Riddle of Fire) are on the run from authorities, masking their superpowered abilities and identities. But revenge will complicate matters in a sequel that teases a severe escalation in bloodshed. The Conjuring‘s Lili Taylor also stars.
Junction Row
Canadian horror icon Katharine Isabelle stars as Juno, a recovering addict who leaves a fringe housing compound for a better life, leaving her beloved Ruby behind. When she learns Ruby has gone missing, she discovers Junction Row has been overrun with criminals and something far more horrifying. The creature feature marks the feature debut of director Ashlea Wessel, who co-writes Junction Row with Clown in a Cornfield author Adam Cesare and Matt Serafini.
The Last Temptation of Becky
Becky Hooper (Lulu Wilson) escalates her ultra-violent annihilation of Neo-Nazis with a new CIA mission that sends her to Poland to infiltrate a family of innkeepers who are running a tourist venture at The Wolf’s Lair, Hitler’s WWII bunker. To prevent the Fourth Reich, Becky takes matters into her own bloody hands. Jenn Wexler (The Sacrifice Game, The Ranger) directs this trilogy capper from a script she co-wrote with Matt Angel (The Wrath of Becky), from a story by Angel andSuzanne Coote (The Wrath of Becky). Neil Patrick Harris also stars.
Los Vampires
Lost actor Henry Ian Cusick and Spectre actor Thomas Kretschmann lead as uncanny surrogates for Carlos Villarías and Bela Lugosi in this fantastical fictionalized account of the making of George Melford’s classic horror film, one that was shot overnight on the same sets as Tod Browning’s Dracula. The period horror movie is written and directed by Craig Mitchell (Komodo). Daniela Couso (Serial Beauty), Jefferson Mays (Inherent Vice), Oscar Nuñez (“The Office”), and Jorge Diaz (Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones) round out the cast. Watch the intriguing teaser here.
Rubberhead: The Life & Monsters of Steve Johnson
The wild life and incredible career of SFX wizard Steve Johnson (Fright Night, Poltergeist II, An American Werewolf in London, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master) gets the documentary spotlight from director Nick Taylor. Those familiar with Johnson’s two-book saga Rubberhead: Sex, Drugs and Special FX, which serves as the basis for the documentary, will already know that the artist is a candid raconteur as open about his failures as his successes. Linnea Quigley, John Landis, Tom Holland, and Oscar-winner Bill Corso also contribute as talking heads in this illuminating doc.
Unholy Night
Grandma is back from the dead and ready to commit murder in this holiday horror comedy from writer/director Michael Gabriele. The chaos of an Italian Christmas Eve gets dialed up to a zany, violent degree in the first teaser. Marc Bendavid (“Dark Matter”), Shailene Garnett (“Shadowhunters”), Al Sapienza (“The Sopranos”), Ron Lea (“Orphan Black”), Toni Ellwand (“Hannibal”), Cristina Rosato (Mother!), Jacqueline Robbins (“A Series of Unfortunate Events”), and Joe Pingue (Antiviral) star.
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