Now that the Phantasm series (for now, at least) has wrapped itself up, you’d think “The Hardest Working Man in Horror” himself, Reggie Bannister would take it easy. Not in the slightest, as he’s continuing to do what he’s been doing for the past 40 years. His newest film is Brett DeJager’s Bonejangles. Part-slasher, part-zombie flick, and part-comedy, you might think that with such an ambitious concept (especially since it’s DeJager’s second film), Bonejangles bites off a little more than it can chew. It’s good to set your aim high, but man, when you decide to go low instead…

After capturing the infamous Edgar Friendly Jr., aka Mr. Bonejangles, a group of four cops are tasked with transporting the killer to the town of Argento, where he’ll then be taken to Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. Coincidentally, Argento is also one of the cops’ (Kelly Misek Jr.) home town. Unfortunately for the team, it’s also April 18th, and the team soon becomes stranded in fog that has descended upon the town. The hometown cop explains that Argento is cursed and that zombies rise to attack citizens every year on that date. The person behind the curse is Rowena Abernathy, a prostitute, and witch who was burned at the stake in 1872 for being a succubus, and whose spirit still resides in the town’s bordello. As Rowena’s minions rise, not only does the team have to deal with zombies and a demon, but Mr. Bonejangles, who has conveniently broken loose.

Now obviously, with a premise like that, and a title like Bonejangles the film obviously doesn’t (and shouldn’t) take itself too seriously. Clearly, the film’s writer Keith Melcher didn’t when he wrote the story or the script (death in part by porn magazine?). The idea of Mr. Bonejangles is a tall tale in and of itself: A mountain of a man with flashbacks of his deceased dad (played by Reggie Banniester) telling him what to do, and who seemingly can’t be hurt by being shot, stabbed, burned or even drowned in toxic waste. And yes, that was indeed a reference to Jason Voorhees. The film is peppered with references to the horror genre like these. Throw in some humorous banter courtesy of our protagonists, and you get the idea of Bonejangles.

Despite it being a low-budget film, Bonejangles attempts to be more than that, at least in terms of its production. The sets, while pedestrian, are lit appropriately, and the camerawork is mainly static but mostly competent in its execution. The gore that is here is accomplished via practical effects and is nicely punctuated by sound. You do unfortunately get cheated out of some kills via quick cuts and lackluster “after the fact” shots, but when you look at Bonejangles as a whole, it’s the least of the film’s problems.

You see, all that setup with a ludicrous premise, while complicated, could’ve been a great film if it was done correctly. Instead, Bonejangles chooses to be lazy. Very lazy. The “humor” mainly comes from dialogue that ranges from “Protect your wee winkie!” uttered by Bannister (who is a wasted opportunity in this film, by the way), to jokes about a gay character that are frankly cringe-worthy and insulting. It also doesn’t help that the gay character is another over-the-top flamboyant stereotype. Speaking of the acting, it’s all amateur hour. Apart from Reggie, everyone is horrid in their delivery and believability. Of course, it definitely doesn’t help that the writing is garbage. I’m sure that they tried, but as the saying goes, you really can’t polish a turd. To add even more insult to injury, the horror aspect of the film is lame. It’s hard to have tension in a scene with little-to-no build-up for your killer’s rampage on hapless campers. Or when you use generic techno music throughout the scene. Am I supposed to get up and dance? And in the case of this film, dance badly? I dance horribly anyway, so that’s no effort on my part.

And you can pretty much say that about Bonejangles: The very least in effort, or no effort at all. The convoluted premise is meant to be a setup for a tongue-in-cheek ride, but when a film uses moronic dialogue, lame acting, and no real foundation for a horror-comedy, it’s quite clear that this was a trainwreck of a misfire. I hope Reggie’s okay financially, since why else would he want (or need) to be in a film like this? There are so many other low-budget films that take a farcical approach to its ridiculous material, run with it and succeed (like Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Bad Taste, or even Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes). Not this one. Avoid this one, even out of curiosity.

Bonejangles is out on VOD July 18 from Wild Eye Releasing.