Movies
[Review] ‘Bird Box’: Sandra Bullock Can’t Save This Bland Thriller
In the Susanne Bier-directed Bird Box, which Netflix releases in limited theaters December 13 before streaming worldwide on December 21, Sandra Bullock plays a woman who fights to protect her two children during the onset of an unseen apocalypse.
Bird Box is interestingly similar to A Quiet Place, only has been in development since 2013 when IT and Mama director Andy Muschietti was attached to direct. While the latter focuses on sound, Bird Box takes on sight. In this thriller, the apocalypse hits like a storm when people randomly commit suicide after seeing “something”. In a sequence awfully similar to the opening of “American Horror Story: Apocalypse”, Bullock’s newly-pregnant Malorie eventually finds shelter in a house with Douglas (John Malkovich) and several others.
While this all may sound exciting, Bird Box struggles to find momentum and to escape its cliché ties to the genre. The film actually opens in the present, with Malorie and the two children pushing their way down river – blindfolded. She’s stern – maybe even a little mean as she explains “the rules”. In an attempt to keep the film energized, the story switches back and forth between the trio’s fight for survival and Malorie’s experiences within the house that birthed the children. While the former is reminiscent of A Quiet Place, the latter plays out like a George A. Romero zombie film or even Stephen King’s “The Mist”. Unfortunately, it’s painful watching these survivors bicker back and forth as they’re about as generic as they come. The script can’t escape horror history as the characters feel more like xerox copies of previous protagonists/antagonists, only less interesting and bloated with unnecessary exposition.
Still, Bird Box has its moments, including a fun gag with car sensors, plenty of violence, and of course, Bullock’s performance. What’s unfortunate is that this comes after A Quiet Place, a far superior film that smartly leaves the past behind and focuses more on the suspensful present. Bird Box‘s cross-editing is not only disengaging, but leaves the viewer stuck in a house for the majority of the film. If anything, the best moments come when Malorie and the children are blindfolded and terrified in the middle of nowhere.
Bird Box isn’t awful, but it is pretty bland. With the amount of content unrolling this holiday season, you could do a lot better than this.
In case you haven’t noticed, the public domain status of beloved icons like Winnie the Pooh, Cinderella and Mickey Mouse has been wreaking havoc on the horror genre in the past couple years, with filmmakers itching to get their hands on the characters and put them into twisted situations. In the wake of two Winnie the Pooh slashers, well, Pooh is about to battle Mickey.
It’s not from the same team behind the Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey films, to be clear, but Deadline reports that Glenn Douglas Packard (Pitchfork) will direct the horror movie Mickey vs. Winnie for Untouchables Entertainment and the website iHorror.
Deadline details, “The film follows two convicts in the 1920s who escape into a cursed forest only to be dragged and consumed into the depths of the dark forest’s muddy heart.
“A century later, a group of thrill-seeking friends unknowingly venture into the same woods. Their Airbnb getaway takes a horrifying turn when the convicts mutate into twisted versions of childhood icons Mickey Mouse & Winnie-The-Pooh, and emerge to terrorize them. A night of violence and gore erupts, as the group of friends battle against their now monstrous beloved childhood characters and fight to break free from the forest’s grip.
“In a horrific spectacle, Mickey and Winnie clash, painting the woods in a gruesome tableau of blood—a chilling testament to the curse’s insidious power.”
Glenn Douglas Packard wrote the screenplay that he’ll be directing.
“Horror fans call for the thrill of witnessing icons like the new Aliens and Avengers sharing the screen. While licensing nightmares make such crossovers rare, Mickey vs. Winnie serves as our tribute to that thrilling fantasy,” Packard said in a statement this week.
Producer Anthony Pernicka from iHorror previews, “We’re thrilled to unveil this unique take to horror fans. The Mickey Mouse featured in our film is unlike any iteration audiences have encountered before. Our portrayal doesn’t involve characters donning basic masks. Instead, we present deeply transformed, live-action horror renditions of these iconic figures, weaving together elements of innocence and malevolence. After experiencing the intense scenes we’ve crafted, you’ll never look at Mickey the same way again.”
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