Allow me to introduce you to Guardians, a superhero film hailing from Russia that is directed by Sarik Andreasyan. The basic idea is that a group of people who represent the variety of nations in the USSR during the Cold War era have their DNA altered to infuse them with various superpowers. Then, the Soviet Union collapses and these people essentially go into hiding until, suddenly, a new modern threat arises and they come out of retirement to save the day.

Wiki writes that the movie is about, “… a secret organization named “Patriot” gathered a group of Soviet superheroes, altering and augmenting the DNA of four individuals, in order to defend the homeland from supernatural threats.

The group includes representatives of the different nationalities of the Soviet Union, which each one of them have long been hiding their true identity. In hard times, they settled down to business and gather to defend their homeland.”

Perhaps the most ridiculous – and ridiculously awesome – of these characters is Arsus, a man who can turn himself into a bear on command. However, he apparently has the ability to decide which parts of himself he wants to change and at what point. I’m sure he’s a real beast in the bedroom, if you know what I mean!

…I’ll leave now.

Guardians stars Anton Pampushniy, Sanzhar Madiev, Sebastien Sisak, Alina Lanina, Valeria Shkirando, Vyacheslav Razbegaev, and Stanislav Shirin. It hits Russian theaters on February 23rd, 2017.