14 Thoughts I Had Watching the "American Horror Story" Season Premiere - Bloody Disgusting
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14 Thoughts I Had Watching the “American Horror Story” Season Premiere

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Wednesday night, “American Horror Story’s” sixth season aired for the first time…without a subheading. With a deluge of trailers designed to throw us off the scent, theories have been floating around for weeks. We now know that one of the main theories was in fact true: Roanoke.

Today there’s been a lot of talk about viewers being underwhelmed by the first episode, mostly because it lacked the shock value that the other season premieres had. I, on the other hand, was sort of intrigued by co-creator Ryan Murphy taking a step back to build a slow burn atmosphere, instead of moneyshotting his way through the first episode.

Here are a few thoughts I had while watching the season premiere of “American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare”:

  1. My theory is that it takes place in an orphanage with Lady Gaga as a headmistress vampire queen who turns the unadopted into her vampire kiddies. Let’s see!
  2. Alright, I was wrong. Fair enough.
  3. This “True Crime ID”-style of reenactments with Murphy actor staples is kind of brilliant.
  4. Murphy has cast Cuba Gooding Jr. as a loving and devoted husband who would never kill his wife and cover it up…yet.
  5. Cuba butt!!
  6. Hey, were those the nurses from “Murder House”? If so, why?
  7. Oh hey, Tara’s mom from “True Blood”! Trading booze for pills I see…
  8. “My brother married one jumpy bitch.” Hahaha!
  9. Angela Basset will fuck your shit up, Sarah Paulson.
  10. Is that a Blair Witch doll?
  11. Who was Evan Peters even playing?
  12. 11pm Pacific time (2am for us EST people) for a clue to the next episode!? I’m too tired for that.
  13. Ok “American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare”, I’m on board with this ID style and slow build up. It’s original and it puts a wrench in the argument that every season is the same.
  14. I was hoping Gaga would make an appearance…maybe she was the mud covered shoulder we saw looking through the trees?

[Related] A Definitive Ranking of the “American Horror Story” Seasons

Say what you will about Murphy, the man knows how to keep an audience, and with three shows helmed by him, it’s clear he’s only gaining more momentum. I think this season is going to be a slow burn – and while people think the stakes are low (because the main characters have seemingly lived through their ordeal), just remember that Murphy is capable of anything…maybe this initial set up is all a ruse?

One final thought…was that ManBearPig?

ahs-roanoke-piggy-man1

Jess is a Northeast Ohio native who has loved all things horror and fringe since birth. She has a tendency to run at the mouth about it and decided writing was the only way not to scare everyone away. If you make a hobby into a career it becomes less creepy. Unless that hobby is collecting baby dolls. Nothing makes that less creepy.


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