All of the ridiculous rumors and speculation can finally be put to rest as a brand new image from Machete has surfaced that features Lindsey Lohan as a Nun with a ginormous gun. She’ll be seen in the Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis thriller alongside Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey, Elise Avellan, Electra Avellan, and FX guru Tom Savini. In theaters September 3, Machete (Trejo) is a Mexican ex-Federale with a gift for wielding a blade, who hides out as a day laborer, who is double-crossed by a corrupt state senator.
“The feature version of the trailer finds Machete (Trejo) a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (De Niro) a corrupt Senator. Double crossed and on the run Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Marin) his “holy” brother, and April (Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.”