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6 Horror Films That Would Make Great Video Games!

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More often than not, video game movies tend to suck. Few have seen much success, and fewer still have managed to successfully capture what made the game it’s adapting to the big screen so great. Of the myriad video game movies we’ve reluctantly watched, hoping, as fans of a novel-turned-movie have done for ages now, that this time, it has to be good.

To me, Silent Hill has been the only movie that’s retained most of what made the games great. The atmosphere, visuals, overly complex story were all there. Hell, even some of the monsters, music and camera angles were taken straight out of the games. So today, we’re going to flip the script and look at six horror films that would make great games. Because for every bad video game adaptation we’ve seen, there’s about a dozen awful games based on movies.

Read on for six horror films that would make great video games!

Resident Evil

Yes, I know, Resident Evil already has a hugely successful film franchise (very) loosely based on it, and while I’ll fully admit that I’ve seen them all and enjoyed each to a certain degree, what we almost had would’ve been far better.

Originally, George A. Romero — the motherfucking godfather of the zombie genre — was the man who would direct the first Resident Evil movie. This was back in 1999, so it would’ve been around the time the third game, Nemesis, was scaring the pants off us. Romero wrote a screenplay that would follow the events in the original game, with Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine starring as the film’s leads, and Barry Burton, Rebecca Chambers, Ada Wong, and Albert Wesker playing smaller roles. Unfortunately, Capcom wasn’t happy with the script, so they fired him, and Paul W.S. Anderson took his place the following year.

I don’t mind Anderson’s first film, in fact, it’s my favorite of the five. But knowing we almost had a Resident Evil movie crafted by George. A. Romero makes me more than a little sad. This why I’m giving it a mention here, because I’d still very much like to see something along the lines of what they originally had planned, after Milla Jovovich is done blowing shit up in the next flick, of course.

Poltergeist

I can’t believe we haven’t seen a Poltergeist video game. Of the plethora of horror films that have been milked by the gaming industry, you’d think a (literal) haunted house flick would’ve made the cut.

So, with the Poltergeist film remake prepping to shoot later this year (ugh), the timing couldn’t be better to give fans a video game based on the series. Before you get pick up your torches and pitch forks, calm down — what I’m picturing is something on a smaller scale. Indie, even.

Matthew Cohen’s indie horror game Paranormal is one of the scariest games I’ve ever played. Something like that would translate perfectly to the film franchise, but for it to be successful, the scale needs to be small. A haunted house game with randomized scares and a little bit of that Poltergeist flavor would likely be a hit with fans of the films and the bevy of horror gamers out there who love games like that. You wouldn’t have to mess with the fiction, just scare us with freaky paranormal happenings.

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Gamer, writer, terrible dancer, longtime toast enthusiast. Legend has it Adam was born with a controller in one hand and the Kraken's left eye in the other. Legends are often wrong.

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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